since he went out. No longer than yester-tippe, that I bear so well your flying out in day I was prevailed with to go home with a dispute.' To another, My hen clacks a fond husband: and his wife told him, that very much, but she brings me chickens. his son, of his own head, when the clock in They that live in a trading street are not the parlour struck two, said papa would disturbed at the passage of carts.' I would come home to dinner presently. While have, if possible, a wise man be contented the father has him in a rapture in his arms, with his lot, even with a shrew; for, though and is drowning him with kisses, the wife he cannot make her better, he may, you tells me he is but just four years old. Then see, make himself better by her means. they both struggle for him, and bring him up to me, and repeat his observation of two o'clock. I was called upon, by looks upon the child, and then at me, to say something; and I told the father that this remark of the infant of his coming home, and joining the time with it, was a certain indication that he would be a great historian and chronologer. They are neither of them fools, yet received my compliment with great acknowledgment of my prescience. I fared very well at dinner, and heard many other notable sayings of their heir, which would have given very little entertainment to one less turned to reflection than I was: but it was a pleasing speculation to remark on the happiness of a life, in which things of no moment give occasion of hope, self-satisfaction, and triumph. On the other hand, I have known an ill-natured coxcomb, who has hardly improved in any thing but bulk, for want of this disposition, silence the whole family as a set of silly women and children, for recounting things which were really above his own capacity. When I say all this, I cannot deny but there are perverse jades that fall to men's lots, with whom it requires more than com-ceiving in this life. mon proficiency in philosophy to be able to live. When these are joined to men of But, instead of pursuing my design of displaying conjugal love in its natural beauties and attractions, I am got into tales to the disadvantage of that state of life. I must say, therefore, that I am verily persuaded, that whatever is delightful in human life is to be enjoyed in greater perfection in the married than in the single condition. He that has this passion in perfection, in occasions of joy, can say to himself, besides his own satisfaction, How happy will this make my wife and children!' Upon occurrences of distress or danger, can comfort himself: But all this while my wife and children are safe.' There is something in it that doubles satisfactions, because others participate them; and dispels afflictions, because others are exempt from them. All who are married without this relish of their circumstances, are in either a tasteless indolence and negligence, which is hardly to be attained, or else live in the hourly repetition of sharp answers, eager upbraidings, and distracting reproaches. In a word, the married state, with and without the affection suitable to it, is the completest image of heaven and hell we are capable of re T. warm spirits, without temper or learning, No. 480.] Wednesday, September 10, 1712. they are frequently corrected with stripes; but one of our famous lawyers* is of opinion, 'that this ought to be used sparingly;' as I remember, those are his very words: but as it is proper to draw some spiritual use out of all afflictions, I should rather recommend to those who are visited with women of spirit, to form themselves for the world by patience at home. Socrates, who is by all accounts the undoubted head of the sect of the hen-pecked, owned and acknowledged that he owed great part of his virtue to the exercise which his useful wife constantly gave it. There are several good instructions may be drawn from his wise answers to the people of less fortitude than himself on her subject. A friend, with indignation, asked how so good a man could live with so violent a creature? He observed to him, that they who learn to keep a good seat on horse-back, mount the least manageable they can get; and, when they have mastered them, they are sure never to be discomposed on the backs of steeds less restive. At several times, to different persons, on the same subject he has said, My dear friend, you are beholden to Xan * Bracton. Responsare cupidinibus, contemnere honores, He, sir, is proof to grandeur, pride, or pelf, THE other day, looking over those old manuscripts of which I have formerly given some account, and which relate to the character of the mighty Pharamond of France, and the close friendship between him and his friend Eucrate, I found among the letters which had been in the custody of the latter, an epistle from a country gentleman to Pharamond, wherein he excuses himself from coming to court. The gentleman, it seems, was contented with his condition, had formerly been in the king's service; but at the writing the following letter, had, from leisure and reflection, quite another sense of things than that which he had in the more active part of his life. 'Monsieur Chezluy to Pharamond. 'DREAD SIR,-I have from your own hand (enclosed under the cover of Mr. Eucrate, of your majesty's bed-chamber) a | tell you, sir, this is the reason that we in letter which invites me to court. I under- the country hear so often repeated the stand this great honour to be done me out word prerogative. That part of your law of respect and inclination to me, rather which is reserved in yourself, for the reathan regard to our own service; for which dier service and good of the public, slight reason I beg leave to lay before your ma- men are eternally buzzing in our ears, to jesty my reasons for declining to depart cover their own follies and miscarriages. from home; and will not doubt but, as your It would be an addition to the high favour motive in desiring my attendance was to you have done me, if you would let Eucrate make me a happier man, when you think send me word how often, and in what cases, that will not be effected by my remove, you allow a constable to insist upon the you will permit me to stay where I am. prerogative. From the highest to the lowThose who have an ambition to appear in est officer in your dominions, something of courts, have either an opinion that their their own carriage they would exempt persons or their talents are particularly from examination, under the shelter of the formed for the service or ornament of that word prerogative. I would fain, most noble place! or else are hurried by downright Pharamond, see one of your officers assert desire of gain, or what they call honour, your prerogative by good and gracious acto take upon themselves whatever the tions. When is it used to help the afflicted, generosity of their master can give them to rescue the innocent, to comfort the opportunities to grasp at. But your good- stranger? Uncommon methods, apparently ness shall not be thus imposed upon by me: undertaken to attain worthy ends, would I will therefore confess to you, that fre- never make power invidious. You see, sir, quent solitude, and long conversation with I talk to you with the freedom your noble such who know no arts which polish life, nature approves in all whom you admit to have made me the plainest creature in your your conversation. dominions. Those less capacities of moving But, to return to your majesty's letter, with a good grace, bearing a ready affa- I humbly conceive that all distinctions are bility to all around me, and acting with useful to men, only as they are to act in ease before many, have quite left me. I public; and it would be a romantic madness am come to that, with regard to my per- for a man to be lord in his closet. Nothing son, that I consider it only as a machine I can be honourable to a man apart from the am obliged to take care of, in order to en- world, but reflection upon worthy actions; joy my soul in its faculties with alacrity; and he that places honour in a consciouswell remembering that this habitation of ness of well doing will have but little relish clay will in a few years be a meaner piece for any outward homage that is paid him, of earth than any utensil about my house. since what gives him distinction to himself, When this is, as it really is, the most fre- cannot come within the observation of his quent reflection I have, you will easily beholders. Thus all the words of lordship, imagine how well I should become a draw- honour, and grace, are only repetitions to ing-room: add to this, what shall a man a man that the king has ordered him to be without desires do about the generous Pha- called so; but no evidences that there is any ramond? Monsieur Eucrate has hinted to thing in himself, that would give the man, me, that you have thoughts of distinguish-who applies to him, those ideas, without ing me with titles. As for myself, in the the creation of his master. temper of my present mind, appellations of honour would but embarrass discourse, and new behaviour towards me perplex me in every habitude of life. I am also to acknowledge to you, that my children of whom your majesty condescended to inquire, are all of them mean, both in their persons and genius. The estate my eldest son is heir to, is more than he can enjoy with a good grace. My self-love will not carry me so far as to impose upon mankind the advancement of persons (merely for their being related to me) into high distinctions, who ought for their own sakes, as well as that of the public, to affect obscurity. I wish, my generous prince, as it is in your power to give honours and offices, it were also to give talents suitable to them: were it so, the noble Pharamond would reward the zeal of my youth with abilities to do him service in my age. 'I have, most noble Pharamond, all honours and all titles in your approbation: I triumph in them as they are in your gift, I refuse them as they are to give me the observation of others. Indulge me, my noble master, in this chastity of renown; let me know myself in the favour of Pharamond; and look down upon the applause of the people. I am, in all duty and loyalty, your majesty's most obedient subject and servant, JEAN CHEZLUY.' 'SIR,-I need not tell with what disadvantages men of low fortunes and great modesty come into the world; what wrong measures their diffidence of themselves, and fear of offending, often oblige them to take; and what a pity it is that their greatest virtues and qualities, that should soonest recommend them, are the main obstacles in the way of their preferment. Those who accept of favour without This, sir, is my case; I was bred at a merit, support themselves in it at the ex-country-school, where I learned Latin and pense of your majesty. Give me leave to Greek. The misfortunes of my family VOL. II, 30 forced me up to town, where a profession | between Count Rechteren and Monsieur Mesnager, which employs the wise heads of so many nations, and holds all the affairs of Europe in suspense. of the politer sort has protected me against infamy and want. I am now clerk to a lawyer, and, in times of vacancy and recess from business, have made myself mas- Upon my going into a coffee-house yester of Italian and French; and though the terday, and lending an ear to the next table, progress I have made in my business has which was encompassed with a circle of gained me reputation enough for one of my inferior politicians, one of them, after havstanding, yet my mind suggests to me every ing read over the news very attentively, day, that it is not upon that foundation I broke out into the following remarks: 'I am to build my fortune. am afraid,' says he, 'this unhappy rupture "The person I have my present depen-between the footmen at Utrecht will retard dence upon has in his nature, as well as in the peace of Christendom. I wish the pope his power, to advance me, by recommend- may not be at the bottom of it. His holiing me to a gentleman that is going beyondness has a very good hand in fomenting a sea, in a public employment. I know the division, as the poor Swiss cantons have printing this letter would point me out to lately experienced to their cost. If Monthose I want confidence to speak to, and I sieur What-d'ye-call-him's domestics will hope it is not in your power to refuse mak- not come to an accommodation, I do not ing any body happy. Yours, &c. know how the quarrel can be ended but by 'September 9, 1712. a religious war. T. M. D.' No. 481.] Thursday, September 11, 1712. -Uti non Compositus melius cum Bitho Bacchius: in jus Hor. Sat. vii. Lib. 1. 19. 'Why, truly,' says a wiseacre that sat by him, were I as the king of France, I would scorn to take part with the footmen of either side; here's all the business of Europe stands still, because Monsieur Mesnager's man has had his head broke. If Count Rectrum* had given them a pot of ale after it, all would have been well, without any of this bustle; but they say he's a warm man, and does not care to be made mouths at. Upon this, one that had held his tongue hitherto began to exert himself; declaring, that he was very well pleased the plenipotentiaries of our Christian princes took this matter into their serious consideration; for that lackeys were never so saucy and pragmatical as they are now-a-days, and that he should be glad to see them taken down in the treaty of peace, if it might be done without prejudice to the public affairs. IT is sometimes pleasant enough to consider the different notions which different persons have of the same thing. If men of low condition very often set a value on things which are not prized by those who are in a higher station of life, there are many things these esteem which are in no value among persons of an inferior rank. Common people are, in particular, very much astonished when they hear of those One who sat at the other end of the table, solemn contests and debates, which are and seemed to be in the interests of the made among the great upon the punctilios French king, told them, that they did not of a public ceremony; and wonder to hear take the matter right, for that his most that any business of consequence should Christian majesty did not resent this matter be retarded by those little circumstances, because it was an injury done to Monsieur which they represent to themselves as Mesnager's footmen; 'for,' says he, what trifling and insignificant. I am mightily are Monsieur Mesnager's footmen to him? pleased with a porter's decision in one of but because it was done to his subjects. Mr. Southern's plays, which is founded Now,' says he, 'let me tell you, it would upon that fine distress of a virtuous wo-look very odd for a subject of France to man's marrying a second husband, while have a bloody nose, and his sovereign not her first was yet living. The first husband, to take notice of it. He is obliged in howho was supposed to have been dead, re-nour to defend his people against hostilities; turning to his house, after a long absence, raises a noble perplexity for the tragic part of the play. In the meanwhile the nurse and the porter conferring upon the difficulties that would ensue in such a case, honest Samson thinks the matter may be easily decided, and solves it very judiciously by the old proverb, that if his first master be still living, the man must have his mare again.' There is nothing in my time which has so much surprised and confounded the greatest part of my honest countrymen, as the present controversy and if the Dutch will be so insolent to a crowned head, as in any wise to cuff or kick those who are under his protection, I think he is in the right to call them to an account for it." This distinction set the controversy upon a new foot, and seemed to be very well approved by most that heard it, until a little warm fellow, who had declared himself a friend to the house of Austria, fell most unmercifully upon his Gallic majesty, *Count Rechteren. as encouraging his subjects to make mouths | the name of a club, who, he tells me, meet at their betters, and afterwards screening as often as their wives will give them leave, them from the punishment that was due to and stay together till they are sent for their insolence. To which he added, that home. He informs me that my paper has adthe French nation was so addicted to gri- ministered great consolation to their whole mace, that, if there was not a stop put to club, and desires me to give some farther acit at the general congress, there would be count of Socrates, and to acquaint them in no walking the streets for them in a time of whose reign he lived, whether he was a peace, especially if they continued masters citizen or a courtier, whether he buried of the West Indies. The little man pro- Xantippe, with many other particulars: for ceeded with a great deal of warmth, de- that by his sayings, he appears to have been claring that, if the allies were of his mind, a very wise man, and a good Christian. he would oblige the French king to burn Another who writes himself Benjamin his galleys, and tolerate the protestant re- Bamboo, tells me that, being coupled with ligion in his dominions, before he would a shrew, he had endeavoured to tame her sheath his sword. He concluded with call- by such lawful means as those which I ing Monsieur Mesnager an insignificant mentioned in my last Tuesday's paper, and prig. that in his wrath he had often gone farther The dispute was now growing very warm, than Bracton always allows in those cases: and one does not know where it would have but that for the future he was resolved to ended, had not a young man of about one-bear it like a man of temper and learning, and-twenty, who seems to have been brought up with an eye to the law, taken the debate into his hand, and given it as his opinion, that neither Count Rechteren nor Monsieur Mesnager had behaved themselves right in this affair. 'Count Rechteren,' says he, 'should have made affidavit that his servant had been affronted, and then Monsieur Mesnager would have done him justice, by taking away their liveries from them, or some other way that he might have thought the most proper; for, let me tell you, if a man makes a mouth at me, I am not to knock the teeth out of it for his pains. Then again, as for Monsieur Mesnager, upon his servant's being beaten, why he might have had his action of assault and battery. But as the case now stands, if you will have my opinion, I think they ought to bring it to referees." I heard a great deal more of this conference, but I must confess with little edification, for all I could learn at last from these honest gentlemen was, that the matter in debate was of too high a nature for such heads as theirs, or mine, to comprehend. 0. No. 482.] and consider her only as one who lives in his house to teach him philosophy. Tom Dapperwit says that he agrees with me in that whole discourse, excepting only the last sentence, where I affirm the married state to be either a heaven or a hell. Tom has been at the charge of a penny upon this occasion to tell me, that by his experience it is neither one nor the other, but rather that middle kind of state, commonly known by the name of purgatory. The fair-sex have likewise obliged me with their reflections upon the same discourse. A lady, who calls herself Euterpe, and seems a woman of letters, asks me whether I am for establishing the Salic law in every family, and why it is not fit that a woman who has discretion and learning should sit at the helm, when the husband is weak and illiterate? Another, of a quite contrary character, subscribes herself Xantippe, and tells me that she follows the example of her namesake; for being married to a bookish man, who has no knowledge of the world, she is forced to take their affairs into her own hands, and to spirit him up now and then, that he may not grow musty, and unfit for conversation. After this abridgment of some letters which are come to my hands upon this occasion, I shall publish one of them at large. 'MR. SPECTATOR,-You have given us a lively picture of that kind of husband who comes under the denomination of the hen-pecked; but I do not remember that WHEN I have published any single paper you have ever touched upon one that is that falls in with the popular taste, and quite of the different character, and who, pleases more than ordinary, it always brings in several places of England, goes by the me in a great return of letters. My Tues- name of a cot-queen.' I have the misforday's discourse, wherein I gave several tune to be joined for life with one of this admonitions to the fraternity of the hen-character, who in reality is more a woman pecked, has already produced me very many correspondents; the reason I cannot guess, unless it be, that such a discourse is of general use, and every married man's money. An honest tradesman, who dates his letter from Cheapside, sends me thanks in than I am. He was bred up under the tuition of a tender mother, till she had made him as good a housewife as herself. He could preserve apricots, and make jellies, before he had been two years out of the nursery. He was never suffered to go An old maiden gentlewoman, whom I shall conceal under the name of Nemesis, is the greatest discoverer of judgments that I have met with. She can tell you what sin it was that set such a man's house on fire, or blew down his barns. Talk to her of an abroad, for fear of catching cold; when he | tural depravity of temper it is not in the should have been hunting down a buck, he power, even of religion itself, to preserve was by his mother's side learning how to the character of the person who is possessseason it, or put it in crust; and making ed with it from appearing highly absurd paper boats with his sisters, at an age and ridiculous. when other young gentlemen are crossing the seas, or travelling into foreign countries. He has the whitest hand you ever saw in your life, and raises paste better than any woman in England. These qualifications make him a sad husband. He is perpetually in the kitchen, and has a thou-unfortunate young lady that lost her beauty sand squabbles with the cook-maid. He is by the small-pox, she fetches a deep sigh, better acquainted with the milk-score than and tells you, that when she had a fine face his steward's accounts. I fret to death she was always looking on it in her glass. when I hear him find fault with a dish that Tell her of a piece of good fortune that has is not dressed to his liking, and instructing befallen one of her acquaintance, and she his friends that dine with him in the best wishes it may prosper with her, but her pickle for a walnut, or sauce for a haunch mother used one of her nieces very barbaof venison. With all this he is a very good-rously. Her usual remarks turn upon peonatured husband, and never fell out with ple who had great estates, but never enme in his life but once, upon the over-joyed them by reason of some flaw in their roasting of a dish of wild fowl. At the same own or their father's behaviour, She can time I must own, I would rather he was a give you the reason why such a one died man of a rough temper, and would treat me childless; why such a one was cut off in the harshly sometimes, than of such an effemi-flower of his youth; why such a one was nate busy nature, in a province that does not belong to him. Since you have given us the character of a wife who wears the breeches, pray say somewhat of a husband that wears the petticoat. Why should not a female character be as ridiculous in a man, as a male character in one of our sex? I am, &c. O. unhappy in her marriage; why one broke his leg on such a particular spot of ground; and why another was killed with a backsword, rather than with any other kind of weapon. She has a crime for every misfortune that can befall any of her acquaintance; and when she hears of a robbery that has been made, or a murder that has been committed, enlarges more on the guilt of the suffering person, than on that of the. No. 483.] Saturday, September 13, 1712. thief, or assassin. In short, she is so good Never presume to make a god appear, a Christian, that whatever happens to herself is a trial, and whatever happens to her neighbours is a judgment. The very description of this folly, in ordinary life, is sufficient to expose it: but, WE cannot be guilty of a greater act of when it appears in a pomp and dignity of uncharitableness than to interpret the af- style, it is very apt to amuse and terrify the flictions which befall our neighbours as mind of the reader. Herodotus and Plupunishments and judgments. It aggravates tarch very often apply their judgments as the evil to him who suffers, when he looks impertinently as the old woman I have beupon himself as the mark of divine ven- fore mentioned, though their manner of regeance, and abates the compassion of those lating them makes the folly itself appear towards him who regard him in so dread- venerable. Indeed most historians, as well ful a light. This humour, of turning every Christian as pagan, have fallen into this misfortune into a judgment, proceeds from idle superstition, and spoken of ill success, wrong notions of religion, which in its own unforeseen disasters, and terrible events, as nature produces good-will towards men, if they had been let into the secrets of Proviand puts the mildest construction upon dence, and made acquainted with that prievery accident that befalls them. In this vate conduct by which the world is governed. case, therefore, it is not religion that sours One would think several of our own histoa man's temper, but it is his temper that rians in particular had many revelations of sours his religion. People of gloomy, un- this kind made to them. Our old English cheerful imaginations, or of envious malig- monks seldom let any of their kings depart nant tempers, whatever kind of life they in peace, who had endeavoured to diminish are engaged in, will discover their natural the power of wealth of which the ecclesiastincture of mind in all their thoughts, tics were in those times possessed. Wilwords, and actions. As the finest vines liam the Conqueror's race generally found have often the taste of the soil, so even the their judgments in the New Forest where most religious thoughts often draw some- their father had pulled down churches and thing that is particular from the constitu- monasteries. In short, read one of the tion of the mind in which they arise. When chronicles written by an author of this folly or superstition strike in with this na-frame of mind, and you would think you |