Now you, Johnny, go home, an' you, Nora, run in."
They ran. I should rightly have taken a shtick
An' have bate the young divil to pay for the thrick.
But indade I can't blame him for kissin' the elf,
Be me love of ould Ireland, I'd do it meself!

"How do you and your pa get along now," asked a storekeeper of the bad boy, as he leaned against the counter, instead of sitting down on a stool, while he bought a bottle of liniment.

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Oh, I don't know. He don't seem to appreciate me. What he ought to have is a deaf and dumb boy, with only one leg and both arms broke. Then he could enjoy a quiet life. But I am too gay for pa, and you needn't be surprised if you never see me again. I talk of going off with a cirSince I played the variegated dogs on pa there seems to have been a coldness in the family, and I sleep on the roof."

cus.

"Variegated dogs," said the storekeeper, "what kind of a game is that? You have not played another Daisy trick on your pa, have you?"

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Oh, no, it was nothing of that kind. You know pa thinks he is smart. He thinks because he is forty-eight years old that he knows it all, but it don't seem to me as though a man of his age that had sense, would let a tailor palm off on him a pair of pants so tight that he would have to use a button-hook to button them, but they can catch him on everything, just as though he was a kid smoking cigarettes. Well, you know pa drinks some. That night the new club opened he came home pretty fruitful, and next morning his head ached so he said he would buy me a dog if I would go down town and get a bottle of pollynurious water for him. You know that dye-house on Grand Avenue where they have got the four white spitz dogs. When I went after the penurious water I noticed they had been coloring their dogs with the dye-stuff, and I put up a job with the dye-man's little boy to help me play it on pa. They had one dog dyed pink, another blue, another red, and another green, and I told the boy I would treat him to ice-cream if he would let one out at a time,

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when I came down with pa, and call him in and let another out, and when we started to go away to let them all out. What I wanted to do was to paralyze pa and make him think he had got 'em, got dogs the worst way. So about ten o'clock, when his head got cleared off, and his stomach got settled, he changed ends with his cuffs, and we came down town, and I told him I knew where he could get a splendid white spitz dog for me for five dollars, and if he would get it I would never do anything disrespectful again, and would just set up nights to please him and help him up stairs, and get seltzer for him. So we went by the dye-house, and just as I told him I didn't want anything but a white dog, the door opened and the pink dog came out and barked at us, and I said that's him," and the boy called him back. Pa looked as though he had the colic, and his eyes stuck out, and he said, "Hennery, that is a pink dog," and I said, "No, it is a white dog, pa," and just then the green dog came out, and I asked pa if he wasn't a pretty white dog, and pa he turned pale and said, "No, boy, that's a green dog. What's got into the dogs?" I told him he must be color blind, and was feeling in my pocket for a strap to tie the dog, and telling him he must be careful of his health or he would see something worse than green dogs, when the green dog went in and the blue dog came rushing out and barked at pa. Well, pa leaned against a tree-box, and his eyes stuck out like stops on an organ, and the sweat was all over his face in drops as big as kernels of hominy. I think a boy ought to do everything he can to make it pleasant for his pa, don't you? And yet some parents don't realize what a comfort a boy is. The blue dog was called in, and just as pa wiped the perspiration off his forehead, and rubbed his eyes, and put on his specs, the red maroon dog came out. Pa acted as if he was tired, and sat down on a horse-block. Dogs do make some people tired, don't they? He took hold of my hand, and his hand trembled just as though he was putting a gun wad in the collection plate at church, and he said, "My child, tell me truly, is that a red dog? A fellow has got to lie a little if he is going to have any fun with his pa, and I told him it was a white dog, and I could get it for five dollars. He straightened up, just as the dog went in the house, and said "Well, I'm floored,” and just then the boy let all the dogs out and sicked them on a cat, which run up a shade-tree

right near pa, and they rushed all around us, the blue dog going between his legs, and the green dog trying to climb the tree, and the pink dog barking, and the red dog standing on his hind feet. Pa was as weak as a cat, and told me to go right home with him and he would buy me a bicycle. He asked me how many dogs there were, and what was the color of them. I s'pose I did awful wrong, but I told him there was only one dog and a cat, and the dog was white. Well, sir, pa acted just as he did the night Hancock was beat, and he had to have the doctor to give him something to quiet him (the time he wanted me to go right down town and buy a hundred rat-traps, but the doctor said never mind, I needn't go). I took him home and ma soaked his feet, and give him some ginger tea, and while I was gone after the doctor he asked ma if she ever saw a green dog. That was what made all the trouble. If ma had kept her mouth shut I would have been all right, but she up and told him that they had a green dog, and a blue dog, and all colors of spitz dogs down at the dyer's. They dyed them just for an advertisement, and for him to be quiet, and he would feel better when he got over it. Pa was all right when I got back and told him the doctor had gone to Wanwatosa, and I had left an order on his slate. Pa said he would leave an order on my slate. He took a harness tug and used it for breeching on me. I don't think a boy's pa ought to wear out a harness on his son, do you? He said he would learn me to play rainbow dogs on him. He said I was a liar, and he expected to see me wind up in Congress. Say, is Congress anything like Waupun or Sing-Sing? No, I can't stay, thank you, I must go down to the office and tell pa I have reformed, and freeze him out of a circus ticket. He is a good enough man, only he don't appreciate a boy that has got all the modern improvements. Pa and ma are going to enter me in the Sunday-school. I guess I'll take first money, don't you?"

And the bad boy went out with a visible limp, and a look of genius cramped for want of opportunity. PECK'S SUN.

NO PRECEDENT.

A JOLLY old fellow was Isaac O. B.;
Very large, very fat, very fond of a spree.
Very fond of his glass, very fond of his smoke,
But fonder by far, than all these, of his joke.
To a political barbecue Isaac once went,
And with other good fellows the day gaily spent
In eating and drinking, which did not agree
With the spacious interior of Isaac O. B.,
For, on arriving at home and going to bed,
With stomach o'erloaded and very light head,

He was soon taken ill, and was so short of breath

That he thought he was called by the grim angel Death. So he sent for a doctor renowned for his skill,

Who hearing that Isaac was fatally ill,

Did not tarry a moment, but unto him sped,
And found the old gentleman groaning in bed,
With feet very hot, and his face very red,
And crying out, "Surely I soon shall be dead."
"Oh nonsense! Pooh, pooh!" said the skilful M. D.,
"Your case is not hopeless, my dear Mr. B.

In fact 'tis quite simple. The canse is most plain,
And you'll soon be as right as a trivet again.'

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No, doctor," groaned Isaac, "I'm stricken by Death; He has got me now sure -Oh? I haven't got breath To tell how I suffer." Oh! come now, sir, come, Said the doctor, 'tis plain that you must suffer some, But your pulse is not high, you will come to no harm, For no man ever died with his feet like yours, warm. "I know of a case," gasped Isaac O. B.,

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So your statement does not at all reassure me,
I know of a man, and his name I'll repeat ·
John Rogers, the martyr, he died with warm feet.”

THE WONDERFUL TAR-BABY STORY.

"DIDN'T the fox never catch the rabbit, Uncle Remus?" asked the little boy the next evening.

"He come mighty nigh it, honey, sho's you bawn brer fox did. One day after brer rabbit fool 'im widdat calamus root, brer fox went ter wuk en got 'im some tar, en mix it wid some turkentime, en fix up a contrapshun wat he call a tar-baby, en he tuck dish yer tar-baby en he sot er in de big road, en den he lay off in de bushes fer ter see wat de news wuz gwinter be. En he didn't hat ter wait long, nudder, kaze bimeby here come brer rabbit pacin' down de roadlippity-clippity, clippity-lippity-dez ez sassy ez a jay-bird. Brer fox, he lay low. Brer rabbit come prancin' long twel he spy de tar-baby, en den he fotch up on his behime legs like he wuz 'stonishe. De tar-baby, she sot dar, she did, en brer fox he lay low.

'Mawnin'!' sez brer rabbit, sezee; 'nice wedder dis mawnin', sezee.

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Tar-baby ain't sayin nuthin', en brer fox, he lay low. 'How duz yo' sym'tuns seem ter segashuate?' sez brer rabbit, sezee.

'Brer fox, he wink his eyes slow, en lay low, en de tarbaby, she ain't sayin' nuthin'.

How you come on den? 'is you deaf? sez brer rabbit, sezee. Kase if you is, I can holler louder,' sezee.

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Tar-baby stay still, en brer fox, he lay low.

You er stuck up, dat's w'at you is', says brer rabbit sezee, ‘en I'm gwinter kyore you, dat's w'at I'm a gwinter do,'

sezee.

"Brer fox, he sorter chuckle in his stummuck, he did, but tar-baby ain't sayin' nothin'.

"I'm gwine ter larn you howter talk ter 'spectubble fokes ef hit's de las' ack'; sez brer rabbit, sezee. 'Ef you don't take off dat en tell me howdy, I'm gwinter bus' you wide open'; sezee.

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Tar-baby stay still, en brer fox, he lay low.

"Brer rabbit keep on axin' him, en de tar-baby, she keep on sayin' nuthin', twel present'y brer rabbit draw back wid his fis; he did, en blip he tuck er side er de head. Right dars whar he broke his merlasses jug. His fi's stuck, en he can't pull loose de tar hilt 'im. But tar-baby, she stay still, en brer fox, he lay low.