FLIRTATION. BEING AN ESSAY BY A NEW CONTRIBUTOR. Without thee, what were unenlightened man? Nor grace, nor love were his.-Thomson's Seasons. There is so little stirring now-a-days, that we feel disposed to discourse a trifle upon a subject much talked of, but little understood. the curse of a wounded spirit never fails to cling. Nor in the next place is Flirtation to be mistaken for friendship. They are not only distinct, but in most respects, antagonistic. Perhaps I cannot better explain this principle to the students of this science, than by relating the following narrative. They can also sharpen their wits by studying it. Mr. A., a young law-student, left a certain town to the Eastward, for the purpose of attending a law-school. Whilst there, he became acquainted with Miss B., who had much to recommend her; at least sufficient to cause him to fall In saying that Flirtation is a subject much in love with her. He had reason to suppose that talked of, but little understood, we make no rash assertion. Every science has its pretenders, and she was not indifferent to him, but being proud none has more ignorant worshippers than this. and unpossessed of fortune, whilst she was very wealthy, he tore himself away, pursued his stuBe it ours, writing from a chair, which, like its occupant, has seen better days; be it ours to ex-anchor in one of our large cities, there to strugdies elsewhere, and on obtaining his license, cast pound some of its mysteries for the benefit of youthful "hearts now pregnant with celestial fire." In the first place then, Flirtation is not lovemaking, nor any thing like it. For in the one case, a man starts on a voyage at the commencement of which he casts aside the rudder of reason and trusts to prosperous breezes and the favor of the gods for reaching in safety "the haven where he would be." In the other, like the experienced mariner sent to explore a hitherto unknown coast, he approaches it warily, sounds the depths and shallows, sends out boats hither and thither to make observations, takes the bearings of the headlands and inlets, carefully notes them all in his log-book; and, when all has been explored, sails away to other lands. In an expedition of this kind, however, there is no mistaking icebergs for continents, as the English journals say was the case with our famous Exploring Expedition. Nor in the next place, is Flirtation to be mistaken for Coquetry. The foam of champagne is not that of the juice of night-shade, though gle with those trials and mortifications, to suffer those anxieties, those sickening hours of hope deferred, which only a young, unfriended lawyer can fully know, and which drive some to the fearful guilt of self-destruction. that he first saw her, when she, whose image Nearly two years had elapsed, from the time was graven on his heart, made an unexpected visit to the city in which he resided. He called to see her. She was cold and distant. Still He went, went frequently. At last he addressed something in her manner bade him call again. her. She refused him. He threw himself back his demeanor, yet he laid aside his love for her on his pride, and although gentle and friendly in altogether. She appeared perplexed. The period fixed for her visit expired, yet she lingered. At last she went, and they parted friends. They met twice or thrice during the two years next succeeding. From each interview they parted friends. Another year passed on. They old times. His heart told him that he had not met again. Something in her tone brought back made due allowance for her wounded pride that he should have said something in explana- "It was too late," she said. "Once she had admired-perhaps loved him-but it was too late." the one resembles the other. There is some difference between an exhilirating beverage and a deadly poison. We need not caution our own sex, however, against the practice of coquetry. This belongs by prescriptive right only to women. The theory on this subject is, that there are no broken hearts amongst them; that they do not surrender their tender affections until their Papas have been duly consulted; but, as soon as leave is asked and obtained, that then the gentle feeling darts like lightning into their souls, subduing controlling and changing their characters. But to them we would address a word of warning as to the use of this power, for we have known some manly bearts, beating high with generous We ought in the next place, after having shown aspirations, completely wrecked in this way; and what Flirtation is not, to define what it is. But No matter what happened further at that interview, nor what happened subsequently. As she well said-"it was too late"-but the heart of an ambitious and distinguished lawyer often turns despondingly to dream of the past, and to think of his friend. VOL. XV-44 He then has the parts in his Mephistopheles truly says " he who wishes to hand, are ours forever. But a truce to our didefine any living thing, seeks first to drive the gressions. spirit out of it. We were saying that a flirtation was worthy hand, only the spiritual bond is wanting." Such of a man's best efforts. We deliberately repeat a catastrophe we by no means desire, for Flirta- our assertion. No man can enter upon one with tion we consider not only a spiritual thing, but a woman of talent and feeling, without being one essentially and entirely spiritual. To drive greatly improved thereby both mentally and the spirit out of it then would not even leave the morally. To illustrate our meaning. parts in our hand. So we will proceed to consider the various shapes in which this "living" thing developes itself. Many years ago, a friend of ours, about oneand-twenty, good looking, intelligent, and amAnd here we premise that a flirtation, like bitious of improvement, had occasion to visit one man himself, is the creature of circumstances. of our large cities for some three or four months. The relative position of the parties is always so Soon after his arrival there, he became acquaintmodified by the accidents of birth, wealth, per-ed with two young ladies, one of whom was sonal appearance and the like, that it would be staying at the house of the other on a friendly vain to attempt laying down rules invariably to visit. My friend had his evenings entirely at his be followed. But certain maxims, the result of command, and as they told him that they approexperience and observation we may disclose, ved highly of innocent Flirtations, he determined which if shaped a little to suit the occasion, may to try his powers by encountering two sprightly prove of service to those ambitious of becoming girls at once. A bold man, truly! But he sucmasters in a science of so much delicacy and ceeded, and returned to his home in appreciation dexterity as Flirtation. of character and capacity to use his powers ten As the first of these, we would say: Let no years older. Such had been the mental exercise man enter on a flirtation with a lazy mind-to which he had been subjected. Cogenda mens ut incipiat says Seneca, and in My friend is one of those who are disbelievers nothing is this precept more true than in matters in the theory held in polite society, that women of this kind. The intellect must be aroused, the never die of broken hearts. Accordingly he faculties strained, memory made to yield up its tells a touching story of one of these girls, which hoarded stores of information, imagination to I cannot forbear relating briefly. It has a moral shed its varied lights over passing scenes, percep-in it; besides which it has the rare merit of betion awakened to every tone of voice, to every ing true. light and shadow which passes over the countenance, while the will, like a strong man armed, must preserve a calm, serene composure within. We admit that all this is difficult to attain. But let no one suppose it unworthy of his best efforts. In point of fact, woman constitutes, in one way or another, the principal object of man's of her conversation, the fascination of her manexistence during that long period, which reaches ner, proved too much for my friend. He was from boyhood to the grave, from the hour that His will was not yet the strong man we form dim, fantastic visions of happiness to be He loved and was loved. realized through her instrumentality, to the time when we look back with sorrowful hearts over dissipated delusions and dwell in those recollections which are "pleasant but mournful to the soul." And here let an "old fellow," (as we are familiarly called by the wanton juveniles around us,) let one, who is no longer an actor in gay scenes, say somewhat as to the pleasures of memory. They are after all the most certain. We soon learn that the phantoms of hope glide delusively before our eyes; that to-morrow may deceive us; that the once loved may prove faithless; that change may come even to the wanderer, weary with his too long sojourning on earth. But of the past, nothing can rob us. ges not. Yesterday cannot deceive us. well-known voice, the friendly face, the trusty She was just seventeen the night he first became acquainted with her. Her portrait, which we have seen, bespeaks her as eminently beautiful, and yet all who ever knew her say, that it wants the holy lustre which shone upon her countenance. The beauty of her person, the charms young. armed. She was to return some two or three weeks before the time fixed for his departure. The evening before she left, she sang to him once more the plaintive melodies which had so often delighted his ear, for not the least of her attractions was a sweet voice. She shed many tears at the thought of parting, for a presentiment that they would next meet in sadness came over her. In the morning a little package reached him. It contained a lock of hair and a note, in which she prayed to the God, who is ready to answer the petitions of the pure in heart, that He would bless the object of her love. He was hurried off to a distant part of the "The Southern breeze was on his brow." Travelling and exciting occupations soon changed the current of his thoughts, and he came to regard the whole affair as one of those childish attachments, which spring up like a flower and are just as short-lived. But towards the close of the summer, chance made him acquainted with a gentleman from the place where the girl resided. She became the subject of conversation, and then my friend learnt that her family thought she was dying of consumption. He had matters to detain him where he then was, but he cast all considerations aside other than the thought of ministering to her grief. He hastened as rapidly as possible to her father's house. It was late in the afternoon when he reached it. He paused as he lifted the latch of the wicket. The honey-suckle and the jasmine gave forth their perfumes, and the roses and lilies displayed their beauties. He sat down for a moment, for he was sick at heart. But nerving himself, he entered the house. Was she indeed dying? No! She was only more beautiful than ever. "One who is formed," says Goethe, "there is no such thing as pleasing; one who is forming will always be grateful." For example: take a young girl before she fairly embarks in society, to whom all things promise enjoyment, who hastens impetuously to snatch the pleasures which mother earth spreads so bountifully before her, and if you can so command your powers as to render yourself agreeable to her, I know few things more likely to afford a summer's amusement than to study the developements of her mind, the fluctuations of her feelings, and your mutual action and reaction upon one another. Another maxim is-that a flirtation in the country differs essentially from one in town. In the latter case, the comparative unfrequency with which the parties meet, and the variety of topics afloat, enable the gentleman to go always prepared; whereas, in the former, he is thrown back on his own resources, and is compelled to affect sentiment and to cherish a taste for the beauties of nature. On the other hand he seldom derives as much improvement from a flirtation in the city as from one in the country; beSeveral hours were spent together that even- cause, in the city, he sees the lady chiefly in the ing-hours of fearful anguish and self-accusation masquerade which "good society" teaches its on his part, of truthful forgiveness and gentle members to wear; but in the country he can blessings on hers. She had never doubted him. enter more deeply into her character, explore She had only blamed herself. Day after day did more accurately her motives of action-and, by she take less and less interest in the amusements the way, if wise, he will make some of these disof society, in the occupations of study. Her coveries a staple of conversation. only recreation was to sing over, so long as the Speaking of conversation-let him be careful physicians would allow her, the songs which he to cultivate a sportive, half-quizzing mode of had loved. Her only consolation was to dream talking, even upon the most seriously sentimental that the past was no longer the past, but was subjects. The most daring propositions may be once more the present. Night and morning had made in a jocose manner with perfect impunity. her prayers ascended to the throne of grace in The least touch of the lachrymose and a man is his behalf. She was happy now, and felt that gone. He has given up "the ribbands." Beshe should soon get well, for he loved her. sides, women admire that graceful way which Ere the dawn of the next morning had fairly some men have of passing over the dull and broken, my friend was called to her room. dwelling only on the sprightly parts of a subject. She was dying. The death damps were on The way in which a man talks is, with them, of her brow, and yet her eye lighted up with some- more consequence than the matter. thing of its former glory as she turned to gaze not, however, forget the remark of De Staël (a on him. A few words of parting-a promise to great authority in these things)—en toute chose watch over him through life-an entreaty so to c'est la froideur qui offense, et l'imagination, au live that she might welcome him to Heaven when contraire, a presque toujours de la bonhommie. he came to die-a prayer for his happiness-and her angelic spirit had left its mortal abode. Three days of watching beside her corpse,more than beautiful in death,—three days of that agony which man can know but once; one night beside her grave; and then-out again into the wide world. Let him "A knack at rhyming" is also quite necessary and must be cultivated. A little satire, or a bit of tenderness, or raillery, when put into tolerable verse, will often prove of most essential service. As examples: here is something for an over-confident belle. *Here's to broken hearts a plenty! Never cease to woo and sigh. But to return to my maxims. Another general maxim is-be careful to select a woman in a transition state. My language must appear as mystic as that of the Delphic oracle; but I will do what the Pythoness never did. I will explain. the opera of L' Elisir d' Amore, Io con rico. *These verses have been set to the music of an air from Theirs' are hearts were made for breaking Fragile things indeed are they Don't then disappoint the making, But in flirting pass the day Who in woman's faith believeth? Trusting hearts too quickly won- Truth and Honor heaped upon her Are like water, poured on sands Thirsting 'neath the suns of summer Truth and Honor buy no lands. But bring wealth, and straight you'll gain her. "Quick! my lady's carriage call"Magic words those are to win herTake her to your lofty hall. And here is something for a sentimental Miss. I care not for Fame, I care not for wine, Its pleasure can give, So give me not Fame- I know Madam Fame O'er the brows of the living, And fadeth away, So give me not Fame- I ask but in dying, On her bosom to rest, In her white arms folded, To her beating heart prest- From her soft beaming eye- So give me not Fame- In her beauty divine. But ever since I thee have known- Thy face upon my path hath shone Oh, Leslie's Kate! 'twill not be soon When to thy side I bent me down You only thought of that. Nor, Leslie's Kate! will time so soon That evening's spell efface, When magic tricks and arts were shown For me, enchantments had no charm; For near me breathed the living form We met no more in such gay hours- I knew not that it lurk'd within- I dream'd that Honor, Faith and Truth, Ah! shattered was the dream of youth, And 'fore my God I knelt I prayed that I might thee forgive, I wandered 'neath those sunny climes Stole o'er my broken heart-- And to mine ear the old church bells Sad, solemn thoughts steal o'er me now- For Death upon my youthful brow His icy seal hath set. Yet happy are the early dead In peaceful graves they sleep- These are given, not for their merit, but by way of specimens to the reflecting student. Valentines also come very well into play in their proper season. We once knew a very doubtful Or by way of mystifying some would-be man- field carried by a judicious use of this species of killer, verses like these might be sent. Oh, Leslie's Kate! Oh, Leslie's Kate! I little thought 'twould be my fate artillery. Like verses, however, they should be spicy, rather than sentimental. Another maxim is-rather under, than over, dress. This may seem a startling paradox; nev¬ ertheless it is true. That passion which St. Paul has so appropriately called "the lust of the eye" has but little more than a momentary influence over women. A dazzling exterior may produce a first impression, but no one, who is merely "varnished over with good-breeding," as Sir Fopling has it, can hope to expect any thing more thereby. I had something to say about the various classes of women, the prude, the blue, the belle, et omne id genus; and the different modes of approaching them; some more maxims to suggest, and some more tales to tell. But I am not expected to say so much as to take up a whole number of the Messenger, and therefore I will The attentive student, however, will carefully say no more at present. But I have left my adnote the dress of women. Nothing perhaps is dress with my friend, the Editor, who will duly so indicative of female character as female cos-forward all packages, and I stand ready to countume. From the ill-made, awkwardly put on sel with any one disposed to seek and take the gown and unbecoming hat of the elderly Puritan advice of an elderly gentleman. female, whose heart is overflowing with the "milk One word, however, before I close this essay. of human kindness," to the "gay and debonair" We all remember the tale in the Arabian Nights, attire of the fashionable belle, which is so well in which Ali Baba (I believe) goes to the cave calculated to display in luxurious freedom the of the thieves, and on pronouncing certain magcharms of the wearer; female fancies, tastes, ical words, the door opens and he enters a store feelings and principles are disclosed to the dis- house full of curiosities and treasures. Thus, I cerning eye in ribbands, flowers, jewels and confess, human nature appears to me a vast frocks. There are indicia to be found here receptacle of wondrous mysteries, of hidden from which conclusions may be drawn with al-oracles, most unerring accuracy. The Philosophy of Female dress is yet to be written. One of these days a little entreaty from my young female friends may extract something from me on the οὐδε Μην ποτε λαθα κατακοιμασει. THE BROKEN GOBLET. subject. One thing I will now say: Let my prophecies, eternal in their nature, with Divinity student behold yonder girl. The neat straw hat, mighty in every line. To this cave,—filled with so delicately yet so tastefully trimmed, that ten mournful truths, unexplained problems, unsatisminutes after she has left your sight you cannot fied desires, unheeded sympathies, Flirtation is say whether it was trimmed or not; the quiet the key, the "open sesame" by which we gain yet well-chosen color of that dress, so modestly admittance. If we are wise we will return to made, so neatly fitting, coming up close to the our homes laden with jewels and all manner of well-formed throat which emerges from a little precious stones. frill of lace, like the bust of Iris from the lotos *Sophocles. leaf: the well-arranged hair, gracefully brushed back from the temples, giving thereby the clear line of that part of the face where genius most loves to dwell, and disclosing the small white ear sitting close to the head: the little edging of lace-cuff just falling on the well-selected glove: the snowy stockings and the neat but easy slipper scarcely, yet still, visible beneath a dress neither too long nor short: let him behold her well, then flee away. Depart! Let him not seek lessons of her. It may not be. She is too earnest and beautiful of soul. She looks upon life with too trustful an eye, too confiding a heart. Like the sensitive plant she may not be touched without suffering, and though too gentle doubtless to express her feelings in words, yet let him beware. The curse of a wounded spirit never fails to cling. I have not even opened this subject. I had something to say on the Italian adage Donna che prende, tosto se rende, and quite a little sermon to deliver on that pithy, pregnant remark of Mephistopheles to Faust: Mein guter Freund, das wird sich alles geben; From the German. BY R. H. STODDARD. A cloven-footed faun was found one day I |