Indignant spurns the cottage from the green;
Around the world each needful product flies,
For all the luxuries the world supplies;
While thus the land, adorned for pleasure all,
In barren splendour, feebly waits the fall.

RETALIATION.

F old, when Scarron his companions invited,.

OF

Each guest brought his dish, and the feast was united; If our 'landlord supplies us with beef and with fish,

Let each guest bring himself, and he brings the best dish: Our dean shall be venison, just fresh from the plains; Our Burke shall be tongue, with the garnish of brains; Our Will shall be wildfowl, of excellent flavour,

4

And Dick with his pepper shall heighten their savour:
Our Cumberland's sweetbread its place shall obtain,
And 'Douglas is pudding, substantial and plain;

1 The master of the St. James's Coffee-house, where the Doctor, and the friends he has characterized in this poem, occasionally dined. 2 Doctor Bernard, Dean of Derry, in Ireland.

3 Mr. Edmund Burke.

Mr. William Burke, late secretary to General Conway, and Imember for Bedwin.

' Mr. Richard Burke, collector of Grenada.

* Mr. Richard Cumberland, author of "The West Indian,” 'Fashionable Lover," "The Brothers," and other dramatic pieces. * Doctor Douglas, canon of Windsor, an ingenious Scotch gentleman, who has no less distinguished himself as a citizen of the world, than a sound critic, in detecting several literary mistakes (or rather forgeries) of his countrymen; particularly Lauder on Milton, and Power's "History of the Popes."

Our Garrick's a salad; for in him we see
Oil, vinegar, sugar, and saltness agree;

To make out the dinner, full certain I am
That 'Ridge is anchovy, and 10 Reynolds is lamb.
That "Hickey's a capon, and, by the same rule,
Magnanimous Goldsmith a gooseberry fool.
At a dinner so various, at such a repast,

Who'd not be a glutton, and stick to the last?
Here, waiter, more wine! let me sit while I'm able,
Till all my companions sink under the table;
Then, with chaos and blunders encircling my head,
Let me ponder, and tell what I think of the dead.

13

"Here lies the good dean,13 reunited to earth,

Who mixt reason with pleasure, and wisdom with mirth: If he had any faults, he has left us in doubt,

At least in six weeks I could not find 'em out;

Yet some have declared, and it can't be denied 'em,
That slyboots was cursedly cunning to hide 'em.

Here lies our good "Edmund, whose genius was such, We scarcely can praise it or blame it too much; Who, born for the universe, narrow'd his mind, And to party gave up what was meant for mankind.

9

David Garrick, Esq.

Counsellor John Ridge, a gentleman belonging to the Irish Bar. 10 Sir Joshua Reynolds.

"An eminent attorney, whose hospitality and good humour acquired him in his club the title of "Honest Tom Hickey."

12 Here lies the good dean.] See a poem by Dean Bernard to Sir J. Reynolds, in Northcote's Life of Reynolds, p. 130.

13 Vide page 128. 14 Vide page 128.

130

Though fraught with all learning, yet straining his throat

15

To persuade Tommy Townshend to lend him a vote;
Who, too deep for his hearers, still went on refining,
And thought of convincing, while they thought of dining:
Though equal to all things, for all things unfit;
Too nice for a statesman, too proud for a wit;
For a patriot too cool; for a drudge disobedient;
And too fond of the right to pursue the expedient.
In short, 'twas his fate, unemployed or in place, sir,
To eat mutton cold, and cut blocks with a razor.

Here lies honest 16 William, whose heart was a mint, While the owner ne'er knew half the good that was in't; The pupil of impulse, it forced him along,

His conduct still right, with his argument wrong;
Still aiming at honour, yet fearing to roam,

The coachman was tipsy, the chariot drove home:
Would you ask for his merits? alas! he had none;
What was good was spontaneous, his faults were his own.

Here lies honest Richard, whose fate I must sigh at;
Alas that such frolic should now be so quiet!

What spirits were his! what wit and what whim!
"Now breaking a jest, and now breaking a limb;
Now wrangling and grumbling to keep up the hall,
Now teasing and vexing, yet laughing at all!

15 M. T. Townshend, member for Whitchurch. -See H. Walpole's Letter to Lord Hertford, p. 6.

16 Vide page 128.

17 Mr. Richard Burke; vide page 128. This gentleman having slightly fractured one of his arms and legs, at different times, the Doctor has rallied him on those accidents, as a kind of retributive justice, for breaking his jests upon other people.

In short, so provoking a devil was Dick,

That we wished him full ten times a day at Old Nick; But, missing his mirth and agreeable vein,

As often we wished to have Dick back again.

18

Here Cumberland lies, having acted his parts,
The Terence of England, the mender of hearts;
A flattering painter, who made it his care
To draw men as they ought to be, not as they are.
His gallants are all faultless, his women divine,
And comedy wonders at being so fine;

Like a tragedy queen he has dizened her out,
Or rather like tragedy giving a rout.

His fools have their follies so lost in a crowd
Of virtues and feelings, that folly grows proud;
And coxcombs, alike in their failings alone,
Adopting his portraits, are pleased with their own.
Say, where has our poet this malady caught,
Or wherefore his characters thus without fault?
Say, was it that vainly directing his view
To find out men's virtues, and finding them few,
Quite sick of pursuing each troublesome elf,
He grew lazy at last, and drew from himself?

Here "Douglas retires from his toils to relax, The scourge of impostors, the terror of quacks: Come, all ye quack bards, and ye quacking divines,

Come, and dance on the spot where your tyrant reclines: When satire and censure encircled his throne,

I feared for your safety, I feared for my own;

18 Vide page 128.

19 Vide page 128.

But now he is gone, and we want a detector,

20

Our 2o Dodds shall be pious, our "Kenricks shall lecture;

22

Macpherson write bombast, and call it a style;

Our 23 Townshend make speeches, and I shall compile; New 24 Lauders and Bowers the Tweed shall cross over, No countryman living their tricks to discover;

Detection her taper shall quench to a spark,

25

And Scotchman meet Scotchman, and cheat in the dark.

Here lies 26 David Garrick, describe me who can,
An abridgment of all that was pleasant in man;
As an actor, confest without rival to shine;
As a wit, if not first, in the very first line:
Yet, with talents like these, and an excellent heart,
The man had his failings, a dupe to his art.
Like an ill-judging beauty, his colours he spread,
And beplastered with rouge his own natural red.
On the stage he was natural, simple, affecting;
'Twas only that, when he was off, he was acting.
With no reason on earth to go out of his way,
He turned and he varied full ten times a day:
Though secure of our hearts, yet confoundedly sick
If they were not his own by finessing and trick.

He cast off his friends, as a huntsman his pack;

For he knew, when he pleased, he could whistle them back.

20 The Rev. Dr. Dodd.

21 Dr. Kenrick, who read lectures at the Devil Tavern, under the title of "The School of Shakespeare."

22

James Macpherson, Esq., who lately, from the mere force of his style, wrote down the first poet of all antiquity.

24 Vide page 128.

26 Vide page 129.

23 Vide page 130.
25❝And gods meet gods, and jostle in the dark.”

See Farquhar's Love in a Bottle, vol. i. p. 150.