them under several heads, and address myself to [has done deliberating. Were the age of man the them at different times. The first branch of them, same that it was before the flood, a lady might sato whose service I shall dedicate this paper, are crifice half a century to a scruple, and be two or those that have to do with women of dilatory tem-three ages in demurring. Had she nine hundred pers, who are for spinning out the time of court-years good, she might hold out to the conversion ship to an immoderate length, without being able of the Jews before she thought fit to be prevailed either to close with their lovers, or to dismiss them. upon. But, alas! she ought to play her part in I have many letters by me, filled with complaints haste, when she considers that she is suddenly to against this sort of women. In one of them no quit the stage, and make room for others. less a man than a brother of the coif* tells me, that In the second place, I would desire my female he began his suit vicesimo nono Caroli secundi, before readers to consider, that as the term of life is short, he had been a twelvemonth at the Temple; that that of beauty is much shorter. The finest skin he prosecuted it for many years after he was called wrinkles in a few years, and loses the strength of to the bar; that at present he is a serjeant at law; its colourings so soon, that we have scarce time to and notwithstanding he hoped that matters would admire it. I might embellish this subject with have been long since brought to an issue, the fair roses and rainbows, and several other ingenious one still demurs. I am so well pleased with this conceits, which I may possibly reserve for another gentleman's phrase, that I shall distinguish this sect opportunity. of women by the title of Demurrers. I find by an- There is a third consideration which I would other letter from one that calls himself Thyrsis, that likewise recommend to a Demurrer, and that is his mistress has been demurring above these seven the great danger of her falling in love when she is years. But among all my plaintiff's of this nature, about threescore, if she cannot satisfy her doubts I most pity the unfortunate Phylander, a man of a and scruples before that time. There is a kind of constant passion and plentiful fortune, who sets latter spring, that sometimes gets into the blood of forth that the timorous and irresolute Sylvia has an old woman, and turns her into a very odd sort of demurred till she is past child-bearing. Strephon an animal. I would therefore have the Demurrer appears by his letter to be a very choleric lover, consider what a strange figure she will make, if and irrevocably smitten with one that demurs out she chances to get over all difficulties, and comes of self-interest. He tells me with great passion, to a final resolution, in that unseasonable part of that she has bubbled him out of his youth; that she her life.

drilled him on to five and fifty, and that he verily I would not however be understood, by any thing believes she will drop him in his old age, if she can I have here said, to discourage that natural mofind her account in another. I shall conclude this desty in the sex, which renders a retreat from the narrative with a letter from honest Sam Hopewell, first approaches of a lover both fashionable and a very pleasant fellow, who it seems has at last graceful. All that I intend is, to advise them, when married a Demurrer. I must only premise, that they are prompted by reason and inclination, to Sam, who is a very good bottle companion, has demur only out of form, and so far as decency rebeen the diversion of his friends, upon account of quires. A virtuous woman should reject the first his passion, ever since the year one thousand six offer of marriage, as a good man does that of a hundred and eighty-one.

DEAR SIR,

bishoprick; but I would advise neither the one nor the other to persist in refusing what they secretly approve. I would in this particular propose 'You know very well my passion for Mrs. Martha, the example of Eve to all her daughters, as Milton and what a dance she has led me. She took me out has represented her in the following passage,* at the age of two and twenty, and dodged with which I cannot forbear transcribing entire, though me above thirty years. I have loved her till she is only the twelve last lines are to my present purgrown as grey as a cat, and am with much ado pose. become the master of her person, such as it is at present. She is however in my eye a very charming old woman. We often lament that we did not marry sooner, but she has nobody to blame for it but herself. You know very well that she would never think of me while she had a tooth in her head. I have put the date of my passion (anno amoris trigesimo primo) instead of a posy on my wedding ring. I expect you should send me a congratulatory letter, or, if you please, an epithalamium upon this occasion.

Mrs. Martha's and your's eternally,
SAM HOPEWELL.'

In order to banish an evil out of the world, that does not only produce great uneasiness to private persons, but has also a very bad influence on the public, I shall endeavour to show the folly of demurrage from two or three reflections which I earnestly recommend to the thoughts of my fair

readers.

First of all, I would have them seriously think on the shortness of their time. Life is not long enough for a coquette to play all her tricks in. A timorous woman drops into her grave before she

A sergeant at luw.

The rib he form'd and fashion'd with his hand,
Under his forming hands a creature grew,
Man-like, but different sex: so lovely fair,
That what seem'd fair in all the world, seem'd now
Mean, or in her summ'd up, in her contain'd,
And in her looks; which from that time infus'd
Sweetness into my heart, unfelt before:
And into all things from her air inspir'd
The spirit of Love and amorous delight.
She disappear'd, and left me dark; I wak'd
To find her, or for ever to deplore
Her loss, and other pleasures all abjure:
When out of hope, behold her, not far off,
Such as I saw her in my dream, adorn'd
With what all earth or heav'n could bestow
To make her amiable. On she came,
Led by her heavenly Maker, though unseen,
And guided by his voice, nor uninformed
Of nuptial sanctity and inarriage-rites:
Grace was in all her steps, Heav'n in her eye,
In every gesture dignity and love.
I, overjoy'd, could not forbear aloud;
"This turn hath made amends: thou hast fulfill'd
Thy words, Creator bounteous and benign!
Giver of all things fair; but fairest this
Of all thy gifts, nor enviest. I now see
Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, my self."-
She heard me thus, and though divinely brought,
Yet innocence and virgin modesty,

Her virtue, and the conscience of her worth,
That would be woo'd, and not unsought be won,
Not obvious, not obtrusive, but retir'd
The more desirable, or to say all,

Paradise Lost, viii, 469–51k

my feadh ife is s

finest str Strength ce ve

ject w in get Or angle

"They lie below on golden beds display'd,
And genial feasts with regal pompare made;
The queen of furies by their side is set.
And snatches from their mouths th' untasted meat;
Which if they touch, her hissing snakes she rears,
Tossing her torch, and thundering in their ears."

DRYDEN.

THERE is not, in my opinion, a consideration more effectual to extinguish inordinate desires in the soul of man, that the notions of Plato and his followers upon that subject. They tell us, that That I may a little alleviate the severity of this every passion which has been contracted by the rdsoul during her residence in the body, remains with my speculation (which otherwise may lose me seake her in a separate state; and that the soul in the veral of my polite readers), I shall translate a story ble body, or out of the body, differs no more than the that has been quoted upon another occasion by one man does from himself when he is in his house, or of the most learned men of the present age, as I in open air. When therefore the obscene passions find it in the original. The reader will see it is in particular have once taken root, and spread not foreign to my present subject, and I dare say themselves in the soul, they cleave to her insepa- will think it a lively representation of a person rably, and remain in her for ever, after the body lying under the torments of such a kind of Tanis cast off and thrown aside. As an argument to talism, or Platonic hell, as that which we have now under consideration. Monsieur Pontignan, confirm this their doctrine, they observe, that a lewd youth who goes on in a continued course of speaking of a love-adventure that happened to voluptuousness, advances by degrees into a libidi-him in the country, gives the following account nous old man; and that the passion survives in the of it. "When I was in the country last summer, I was mind, when it is altogether dead in the body; nay, that the desire grows more violent, and (like all often in company with a couple of charming woother habits) gathers strength by age, at the same men, who had all the wit and beauty one could desire in female companions, with a dash of cotime that it has no power of executing its own purposes. If, say they, the soul is the most subject quetry, that from time to time gave me a great to these passions at a time when it has the least in- many agreeable torments. I was, after my way, stigations from the body, we may well suppose she in love with both of them, and had such frequent will still retain them when she is entirely divested opportunities of pleading my passion to them when of it. The very substance of the soul is festered they were asunder, that I had reason to hope for with them, the gangrene has gone too far to be ever particular favours from each of them. As I was cured; the inflammation will rage to all eternity. walking one evening in my chamber, with nothing In this therefore (say the Platonists) consists the about me but my night-gown, they both came into punishment of a voluptuous man after death. He my room and told me, they had a very pleasant is tormented with desires which it is impossible for trick to put upon a gentleman that was in the same him to gratify; solicited by a passion that has nei-house, provided I would bear a part in it. Upon ther objects nor organs adapted to it. He lives in this they told me such a plausible story, that I a state of invincible desire and impotence, and laughed at their contrivance, and agreed to do always burns in the pursuit of what he always whatever they should require of me. They immedespairs to possess. It is for this reason (says Plato) diately began to swaddle me up in my night-gown that the souls of the dead appear frequently in with long pieces of linen, which they folded about cemeteries, and hover about the places where their me till they had wrapt me in above an hundred bodies are buried, as still hankering after their yards of swathe. My arms were pressed to my old brutal pleasures, and desiring again to enter sides, and my legs closed together by so many the body that gave them an opportunity of fulfil-wrappers one over another, that I looked like an Egyptian mummy. As I stood bolt upright upon ling them. Some of our most eminent divines have made use one end in this antique figure, one of the ladies of this Platonic notion, so far as it regards the burst out a laughing. "And now Pontignan," says subsistence of our passions after death, with great she, "we intend to perform the promise that we find you have extorted from each of us. You have beauty and strength of reason. Plato indeed carries the thought very far, when he grafts upon it often asked the favour of us, and I dare say you his opinion of ghosts appearing in places of burial. are a better bred cavalier than to refuse to go to Though, I must confess, if one did believe that bed to two ladies that desire it of you." After the departed souls of men and women wandered up having stood a fit of laughter, I begged them to and down these lower regions, and entertained uncase me, and do with me what they pleased. themselves with the sight of their species, one "No, no," said they, "we like you very well as could not devise a more proper hell for an impure you are:" and upon that ordered me to be carried spirit than that which Plato has touched upon. to one of their houses, and put to bed in all my The ancients seem to bave drawn such a state of swaddles. The room was lighted up on all sides: torments in the description of Tantalus, who was and I was laid very decently between a pair of punished with the rage of an eternal thirst, and set sheets, with my head (which was indeed the only

part I could move) upon a very high pillow; more partial to an affectation of what a person is this was no sooner done, but my two female growing up to, than what has been already enjoyed, friends came into bed to me in their finest night-and is gone for ever. It is therefore allowed to clothes. You may easily guess at the condition of Flavia to look forward, but not to Honoria to look a man that saw a couple of the most beautiful wo-back. Flavia is no way dependent on her mother men in the world undressed and a-bed with him, with relation to her fortune, for which reason they without being able to stir hand or foot. I begged live almost upon an equality in conversation; and them to release me, and struggled all I could to as Honoria has given Flavia to understand, that it get loose, which I did with so much violence, that is ill-bred to be always calling mother, Flavia is about midnight they both leaped out of the bed, as well pleased never to be called child. It hap crying out they were undone. But seeing me safe, pens by this means, that these ladies are generally they took their posts again, and renewed their rail-rivals in all places where they appear; and the lery. Finding all my prayers and endeavours were words mother and daughter never pass between lost, I composed myself as well as I could, and told them but out of spite. Flavia one night at a play them, that if they would not unbind me, I would observing Honoria draw the eyes of several in the fall asleep between them, and by that means dis-pit, called to a lady who sat by her, and bid her grace them for ever. But alas! this was impos-ask her mother to lend her her snuff-box for one sible; could I have been disposed to it, they would moment. Another time, when a lover of Honoria have prevented me by several little ill-natured ca- was on his knees beseeching the favour to kiss her resses and endearments which they bestowed upon hand, Flavia rushing into the room, kneeled down me. As much devoted as I am to womankind, I by him and asked her blessing. Several of these would not pass such another night to be master of contradictory acts of duty have raised between the whole sex. My reader will doubtless be curi- them such a coldness, that they generally converse ous to know what became of me the next morning. when they are in mixed company by way of talking Why, truly, my bedfellows left me about an hour at one another, and not to one another. Honoria is before day, and told me, if I would be good and ever complaining of a certain sufficiency in the lie still, they would send somebody to take me up young women of this age, who assume to them. as soon as it was time for me to rise. Accordingly selves an authority of carrying all things before about nine o'clock in the morning an old woman them, as if they were possessors of the esteem of came to unswathe me. I bore all this very patient-mankind, and all who were but a year before them ly, being resolved to take my revenge of my tor- in the world, were neglected or deceased. Flavia, mentors, and to keep no measures with them as upon such a provocation, is sure to observe, that soon as I was at liberty; but upon asking my old there are people who can resign nothing, and know woman what was become of the two ladies, she told not how to give up what they know they cannot me she believed they were by that time within sight of Paris, for that they went away in a coach and six before five o'clock in the morning.'

In furias ignemque ruunt: amor omnibus idem.
VIRG. Georg. iii. 244.

They rush into the flame;
For love is lord of all, and is in all the same.
DRYDEN.

hold; that there are those who will not allow youth their follies, not because they are themselves past them, but because they love to continue in them. These beauties rival each other on all occasions, not that they have always had the same lovers, but each has kept up a vanity to show the other the charms of her lover. Dick Crastin and Tom Tulip, among many others, have of late been pretenders in this family: Dick to Honoria, Tom to Flavia. Dick is the only surviving beau of the last age, and Tom almost the only one that keeps up that order of men in this.

I wish I could repeat the little circumstances of THOUGH the subject I am now going upon would a conversation of the four lovers with the spirit in be much more properly the foundation of a co- which the young lady I had my account from remedy, I cannot forbear inserting the circumstances presented it, at a visit where I had the honour to be which pleased me in the account a young lady present; but it seems Dick Crastin, the admirer of gave me of the loves of a family in town, which Honoria, and Tom Tulip, the pretender to Flavia, shall be nameless; or rather, for the better sound were purposely admitted together by the ladies, and elevation of the history, instead of Mr. and that each might show the other that her lover had Mrs. Such-a-one, I shall call them by feigned names. the superiority in the accomplishments of that sort Without further preface, you are to know, that of creature whom the sillier part of women call a within the liberties of the city of Westminster lives fine gentleman. As this age has a much more gross the Lady Honoria, a widow about the age of forty, taste in courtship, as well as in every thing else, of a healthy constitution, gay temper, and elegant than the last had, these gentlemen are instances of person. She dresses a little too much like a girl, it in their different manner of application. Tulip affects a childish fondness in the tone of her voice, is ever making allusions to the vigour of his person, sometimes a pretty sullenness in the leaning of her the sinewy force of his make; while Crastin prohead, and now and then a downcast of her eyes on fesses a wary observation of the turns of his mis her fan. Neither her imagination nor her health tress's mind. Tulip gives himself the air of a resist would ever give her to know that she is turned less ravisher. Crastin practises that of a skilful of twenty; but that in the midst of these pretty lover. Poetry is the inseparable property of every softnesses, and airs of delicacy and attraction, she man in love; and as men of wit write verses on has a tall daughter within a fortnight of fifteen, those occasions, the rest of the world repeat who impertinently comes into the room, and towers verses of others. These servants of the ladies were so much towards woman, that her mother is always used to imitate their manner of conversation, and checked by her presence, and every charm of Ho-allude to one another, rather than interchange disnoria droops at the entrance of Flavia. The agree-course in what they said when they met. Tuhp able Flavia would be what she is not, as well as the other day seized his mistress's hand, and repeather mother Honoria: but all their beholders are ed out of Ovid's Art of Love,

the

a person advenic allowed t oria to l her mothe reason ther

sation; and and, that s er, Flavia

d. It ha -e genenly ; and the ss betwee

t at a pl

veral in

nd bid be

ox for ot of How

to kiss her eled de

al of these

When Crastin had uttered these verses with a tenderness which at once spoke passion and re

spect, Honoria cast a triumphant glance at Flavia, LOOKING Over the late packets of letters which have
as exulting in the elegance of Crastin's courtship, been sent to me, I found the following one:
and upbraiding her with the homeliness of Tulip's.

Tulip understood the reproach, and in return 'MR. SPECTATOR,

began to applaud the wisdom of old amorous gen-Youn paper is a part of my tea-equipage; and tlemen, who turned their mistress's imagination as my servant knows my humour so well, that calling far as possible from what they had long themselves for my breakfast this morning (it being past my betwe forgot, and ended his discourse with a sly com- usual hour), she answered, the Spectator was not mendation of the doctrine of Platonic love; at the yet come in; but that the tea-kettle boiled, and same time he ran over, with a laughing eye, Cras-she expected it every moment. Having thus in Horor tin's thin, legs, meagre looks, and spare body. The part signified to you the esteem and veneration old gentleman immediately left the room with which I have for you, I must put you in mind of some disorder, and the conversation fell upon un- the catalogue of books which you have promised timely passion, after-love, and unseasonable youth. to recommend to our sex; for I have deferred furTulip sung, danced, moved before the glass, led nishing my closet with authors, till I receive your his mistress half a minute, hummed advice in this particular, being your daily disciple and humble servant,

to them

Fore ther

Flav

rre, th

nd ber

ers,

8

'Celia the fair, in the bloom of fifteen!'

when there came a servant with a letter to him,
which was as follows:

I UNDERSTAND very well what you meant by your mention of Platonic love. I shall be glad to meet you immediately in Hyde-Park, or behind Montague-House, or attend you to Barn-Elms, or any other fashionable place that's fit for a genfleman to die in, that you shall appoint for,

'SIR,

"Your most humble servant,
'RICHARD CRASTIN,'

' LEONORA,**

In answer to my fair disciple, whom I am very proud of, I must acquaint her and the rest of my readers, that since I have called out for help in my catalogue of a lady's library, I have received many letters upon that head, some of which I shall give an account of.

In the first class I shall take notice of those which come to me from eminent booksellers, who every one of them mention with respect the authors they have printed, and consequently have an eye to their own advantage more than to that of the ladies. One tells me, that he thinks it absolutely necessary for women to have true notions of right and equity, and that therefore they Tulip's colour changed at the reading of this cannot peruse a better book than Dalton's Country epistle; for which reason his mistress snatched it Justice. Another thinks they cannot be without to read the contents. While she was doing so, The Complete Jockey. A third observing the. Takip went away; and the ladies now agreeing in curiosity and desire of prying into secrets, which a common calamity, bewailed together the danger he tells me is natural to the fair sex, is of opinion of their lovers. They immediately undressed to this female inclination, if well directed, might go out, and took hackneys to prevent mischief: turn very much to their advantage, and therefore but, after alarming all parts of the town, Crastin recommends to me Mr. Mede upon the Revelawas found by his widow in his pumps at Hyde- tions. A fourth lays it down as an unquestioned Park, which appointment Tulip never kept, but truth, that a lady cannot be thoroughly accomad his escape into the country. Flavia tears plished who has not read The secret Treaties and her hair for his inglorious safety, curses and de-Negociations of Marshal d'Estrades. Mr.Jacob Tonpases her charmer, and is fallen in love with son junior, is of opinion, that Bayle's Dictionary Crastin which is the first part of the history of might be of very great use to the ladies, in order

to make them general scholars. Another, whose name I have forgotten, thinks it highly proper that every woman with child should read Mr, Wall's History of Infant Baptism; as another is very importunate with me to recommend to all my female readers The Finishing Stroke; being a Vindication of the Patriarchal Scheme, &c.

by resort for duellists. It was at Baru Elms that the faEarl of Shrewsbury, with two seconds on each side. All the six art was fought between the Duke of Buckingham and the In the second class I shall mention books which ght, and lives It has been said, that during the combat, the are recommended by husbands, if I may believe

Comes of Shrewsbury held the Duke's horses in the habit of a

That she was enamoured of the duke is well known; but *Miss Shepherd, afterwards Mrs. Perry. See No. 97, No, trennstance, of her attending him in disguise while he kill-140, and No. 163.

1

the writers of them. Whether or no they are real world, and keep them from being charmed by husbands or personated ones, I cannot tell; but the those empty coxcombs that have hitherto been adbooks they recommend are as follow: A Para-mired among the women, though laughed at phrase on the History of Susanna. Rules to keep among the men.

Lent. The Christian's Overthrow prevented. A I am credibly informed that Tom Tattle passes Dissuasive from the Play-house. The Virtues of for an impertinent fellow, that Will Trippet begins Camphire, with directions to make camphire tea. to be smoked, and that Frank Smoothly himself is The Pleasure of a Country Life. The Government within a month of a coxcomb, in case I think fit of the Tongue. A letter dated from Cheapside to continue this paper. For my part, as it is my desires me that I would advise all young wives to business in some measure to detect such as would make themselves mistresses of Wingate's Arith-lead astray weak minds by their false pretences to metic, and concludes with a postcript, that he wit and judgment, humour and gallantry, I shall not hopes I will not forget The Countess of Kent's fail to lend the best lights I am able to the fair Receipts. sex for the continuation of these their discoveries.

ADDISON,

N° 93. SATURDAY, JUNE 16, 1711.

L.

-Spatio brevi
Spem longam reseces: dum loquimur, fugerit invida.
Etas: carpe diem, quum minimum credula postero.
HOR. 1 Od, xi. 6.

Be wise, cut off long cares
From thy contracted span.
E'en whilst we speak, the envious time
Doth make swift haste away;
Then seize the present, use thy prime,
Nor trust another day.

CREECH.

we ought to do. We are always complaining our days are few, and acting as though there would be no end of them. That noble philosopher has described our inconsistency with ourselves in this particular, by all those various turns of expression and thought which are peculiar to his writings.

I may reckon the ladies themselves as a third class among these my correspondents and privycounsellors. In a letter from one of them, I am advised to place Pharamond* at the head of my catalogue, and if I think proper to give the second place to Cassandra*. Coquetilla begs me not to think of nailing women upon their knees with manuals of devotion, nor of scorching their faces with books of housewifery. Florella desires to know if there are any books written against prudes, and intreats me, if there are to give them a place in my library. Plays of all sorts have their several advocates: All for Love is mentioned in above fifteen letters; Sophonisba, or Hannibal's Overthrow, in a dozen: The Innocent Adultery is likewise highly approved of; Mithridates, King of Pontus has many friends; Alexander the WE all of us complain of the shortness of time, Great and Aurengzebe have the same number of saith Seneca, and yet have much more than we voices; but Theodosius, or the Force of Love, car-know what to do with. Our lives, says he, are ries it from all the rest. spent, either in doing nothing at all, or in doing I should, in the last place, mention such books nothing to the purpose, or in doing nothing that as have been proposed by men of learning, and those who appear competent judges of this matter, and must here take occasion to thank A. B. whoever it is that conceals himself under these two letters, for his advice upon this subject. But as I find the work I have undertaken to be very diffi. cult, I shall defer the executing of it till I am I often consider mankind as wholly inconsistent further acquainted with the thoughts of my judi- with itself in a point that bears some affinity to cious contemporaries, and have time to examine the former. Though we seem grieved at the shortthe several books they offer to me; being resolved, ness of life in general, we are wishing every period in an affair of this moment, to proceed with the of it at an end. The minor longs to be at age, greatest caution. then to be a man of business, then to make up an In the meanwhile, as I have taken the ladies estate, then to arrive at honours, then to retire. under my particular care, I shall make it my busi-Thus although the whole life is allowed by every ness to find out in the best authors, ancient and one to be short, the several divisions of it appear modern, such passages as may be for their use, and long and tedious. We are for lengthening our endeavour to accommodate them as well as I can span in general, but would fain contract the parts to their taste; not questioning but the valuable of which it is composed. The usurer would be part of the sex will easily pardon me, if from time very well satisfied to have all the time annihilated to time I laugh at those little vanities and follies that lies between the present moment and next which appear in the behaviour of some of them, quarter-day. The politician would be contented and which are more proper for ridicule than a to lose three years in his life, could he place things Most books being calculated for in the posture which he fancies they will stand in male readers, and generally written with an eye be glad to strike out of his existence all the moafter such a revolution of time. The lover would to men of learning, makes a work of this nature the more necessary; besides, I am the more en-ments that are to pass away before the happy couraged, because I flatter myself that I see the meeting. Thus, as fast as our time runs we should sex daily improving by these my speculations. My be very glad in most parts of our lives that it ran fair readers are already deeper scholars than the much faster than it does. Several hours of the day beaux. I could name some of them who talk much hang upon our hands, nay we wish away whole better than several gentlemen that make a figure years; and travel through time as through a counat Will's; and as I frequently receive letters from try filled with many wild and empty wastes which the fine ladies and pretty fellows, I cannot but we would fain hurry over, that we may arrive at observe that the former are superior to the others those several little settlements or imaginary points not only in the sense, but in the spelling. This of rest which are dispersed up and down in it. cannot but have a good effect upon the female Two French romances, written by Gautier de Costes Seig

serious censure.

neur de la Calprenede; and which had been then translated into English.

If we divide the life of most men into twenty are mere gaps and chasms, which are neither filled parts, we shall find that at least nineteen of them with pleasure nor business. I do not however in