in town. The author of the following letter dated, 'SIR, July the 5th, 1711, from Tower-hill, having sometimes been enter-'IN your Spectator of June the 7th,* you trantained with some learned gentleman in plush dou-scribe a letter sent to you from a new sort of musblets,* who have vended their wares from a stage ter-master, who teaches ladies the whole exercise in that place, has pleasantly enough addressed to of the fan; I have a daughter just come to town, me, as no less a sage in morality, than those are in who though she has always held a fan in her hand physic. To comply with his kind inclination to at proper times, yet she knows no more how to use make my cures famous, I shall give you his testi-it according to true discipline, than an awkward monial of my great abilities at large in his own school-boy does to make use of his new sword. I words. SIR, 'SIR, 'Your most humble servant, WILLIAM WISEACRE." " TO THE SPECTATOR. have sent for her on purpose to learn the exercise, she being already very well accomplished in all Tower-hill, July 5, 1711. other arts which are necessary for a young lady to "YOUR saying the other day there is something understand; my request is, that you will speak to wonderful in the narrowness of those minds which your correspondent on my behalf, and in your next can be pleased, and be barren of bounty to those paper let me know what he expects, either by the who please them,† makes me in pain that I am month or the quarter, for teaching; and where he not a man of power. If I were, you should soon keeps his place of rendezvous. I have a son too, see how much I approve your speculations. In the whom I would fain have taught to gallant fans, mean time, I beg leave to supply that inability and should be glad to know what the gentleman with the empty tribute of an honest mind, by tell. will have for teaching them both, I finding fans ing you plainly I love and thank you for your for practice at my own expense. This informa daily refreshments. I constantly peruse your tion will in the highest manner oblige, paper as I smoke my morning's pipe (though I cannot forbear reading the motto before I fill and light), and really it gives a grateful relish to every whiff; each paragraph is fraught either with useful or delightful notions, and I never fail of being 'As soon as my son is perfect in this art (which highly diverted or improved. The variety of your I hope will be in a year's time, for the boy is subjects surprises me as much as a box of pictures pretty apt), I design he shall learn to ride the did formerly, in which there was only one face, great horse, (although he is not yet above twenty that by pulling some pieces of isinglass over it, was years old) if his mother, whose darling he is, will changed into a grave sénator or a Merry-Andrew, venture him.' a patched lady or a nun, a beau or a black-amoor, a prude or a coquette, a country esquire or a conjuror, with many other different representations very entertaining (as you are), though still the same at the bottom. This was a childish amusement, when I was carried away with outward ap- THAT it was your petitioner's misfortune to walk pearance; but you make a deeper impression, and to Hackney church last Sunday, where to his great affect the secret springs of the mind; you charm amazement he met with a soldier of your own the fancy, sooth the passions, and insensibly lead training; she furls a fan, recovers a fan, and goes the reader to that sweetness of temper that you through the whole exercise of it to admiration. so well describe; you rouse generosity with that This well-managed officer of yours has, to my spirit, and inculcate humanity with that ease, that knowledge, been the ruin of above five young gen he must be miserably stupid that is not affected tlemen besides myself, and still goes on laying by you. I cannot say indeed that you have put waste wheresoever she comes, whereby the whole impertinence to silence, or vanity out of counte village is in great danger. Our humble request is, nance; but methinks you have bid as fair for it, as therefore, that this bold Amazon be ordered im any man that ever appeared upon a public stage; mediately to lay down her arms, or that you would and offer an infallible cure of vice and folly, for the issue forth an order, that we who have been thus price of one penny. And since it is usual for those injured may meet at the place of general rendezwho receive benefit by such famous operators, to vous, and there be taught to manage our snuff publish an advertisement, that others may reap the boxes in such a manner as we may be an same advantage, I think myself obliged to declare match for her; to all the world, that having for a long time been splenetic, ill-natured, froward, suspicious, and unsociable, by the application of your medicines, taken only with half an ounce of right Virginia tobacco, for six successive mornings, I am become open, obliging, officious, frank, and hospitable. 'I am "Your humble servant, GEORGE TRUSTY.' 'The humble Petition of Benjamin Easy, Gent, SHEWETH, equal And your petitioner shall ever pray, &c.' STEELE. R. No 135. SATURDAY, AUGUST 4, 1711. Est brevitate opus, ut currat sententia HOR. Sat. x. lib. i. ver. 9. Express your sentiments with brevity. I HAVE Somewhere read of an eminent person, who The careful father and humble petitioner here-used in his private offices of devotion to give thanks after mentioned, who are under difficulties about to Heaven that he was born a Frenchman: for my the just management of fans, will soon receive own part, I look upon it as a peculiar blessing that proper advertisements relating to the professors in I was born an Englishman. Among many other that behalf, with their places of abode and me- reasons, I think myself very happy in my country thods of teaching. as the language of it is wonderfully adapted to a • Empirics. + See No. 107. * No. 102, Taly the sa man who is sparing of his words, and an enemy to English tongue, and added to that hissing in our 7th, loquacity. language, which is taken so much notice of by foAs I have frequently reflected on my good for-reigners, but at the same time humours our tacitune in this particular, I shall communicate to the turnity, and eases us of many superfluous syllapublic my speculations upon the English tongue, bles. ew sort of whole ere come to fan in her ore her an an avid new so not doubting but they will be acceptable to all my I might here observe, that the same single letcurious readers. ter on many occasions does the office of a whole The English delight in silence more than any word, and represents the 'his' and 'her' of our other European nation, if the remarks which are forefathers. There is no doubt, but the ear of a made on us by foreigners are true. Our discourse foreigner, which is the best judge in this case, is not kept up in conversation, but falls into more would very much disapprove of such innovations, mplished a pauses and intervals than in our neighbouring coun-which indeed we do ourselves in some measure, tries; as it is observed, that the matter of our writ-by retaining the old termination in writing, and in ings is thrown much closer together, and lies in a all the solemn offices of our religion. in the es and whe areas the gen This his at v or the narrower compass than is usual in the works of As in the instances I have given we have epiforeign authors: for, to favour our natural taci-tomized many of our particular words to the deturnity, when we are obliged to utter our thoughts, triment of our tongue, so on other occasions we we do it in the shortest way we are able, and give have drawn two words into one, which has likeas quick a birth to our conceptions as possible. wise very much untuned our lánguage, and clogged This humour shows itself in several remarks that it with consonants, as 'mayn't, can't, shan't, won't," we may make upon the English language. As first and the like, for may not, can not, shall not, will of all by its abounding in monosyllables, which not,' &c. gives us an opportunity of delivering our thoughts It is perhaps this humour of speaking no more in few sounds. This indeed takes off from the ele-than we needs must, which has so miserably curgance of our tongue, but at the same time ex-tailed some of our words, that in familiar writings presses our ideas in the readiest manner, and con- and conversations they often lose all but their first sequently answers the first design of speech better syllables, as in 'mob. rep. pos. incog.' and the like; than the multitude of syllables, which make the and as all ridiculous words make their first entry words of other languages more tuneable and sono-into a language by familiar phrases, I dare not rous. The sounds of our English words are com- answer for these, that they will not in time be monly like those of string music, short and tran- looked upon as a part of our tongue. We see some sient, which rise and perish upon a single touch; of our poets have been so indiscreet as to imitate those of other languages are like the notes of wind Hudibras's doggerel expressions in their serious instruments, sweet and swelling, and lengthened compositions, by throwing out the signs of our subout into variety of modulation. stantives, which are essential to the English lanIn the next place we may observe, that where guage. Nay, this humour of shortening our lanthe words are not monosyllables, we often make guage had once run so far, that some of our celethem so, as much as lies in our power, by our ra. brated authors, among whom we may reckon Sir pidity of pronunciation; as it generally happens Roger L'Estrange in particular, began to prune in most of our long words which are derived from their words of all superfluous letters, as they termed the Latin, where we contract the length of the them, in order to adjust the spelling to the prosyllables that gives them a grave and solemn air in nunciation; which would have confounded all our their own language, to make them more proper for etymologies, and have quite destroyed our tongue. despatch, and more conformable to the genius of We may here likewise observe, that our proper our tongue. This we may find in a multitude of names, when familiarized in English, generally words, as 'liberty, conspiracy, theatre, orator,' &c. dwindle to monosyllables, whereas in other mo The same natural aversion to loquacity has of dern languages they receive a softer turn on this hate years made a very considerable alteration in occasion, by the addition of a new syllable.-our language, by closing in one syllable the termi- Nick in Italian is Nicolini; Jack in French, Janot ; nation of our præterperfect tense, as in these and so of the rest. words, drown'd, walk'd, arriv'd,' for drowned, | There is another particular in our language alked, arrived,' which has very much disfigured which is a great instance of our frugality of words, the tongue, and turned a tenth part of our smooth- and that is the suppressing of several particles est words into so many clusters of consonants. which must be produced in other tongues to make This is the more remarkable, because the want of a sentence intelligible. This often perplexes the towels in our language has been the general com- best writers, when they find the relatives' whom, plaint of our politest authors, who nevertheless which, or they,' at their mercy, whether they may ve the men that have made these retrenchments, have admission or not; and will never be decided and consequently very much increased our former till we have something like an academy, that by carcity. the best authorities and rules drawn from the ana This reflection on the words that end in En, Ilogy of languages shall settle all controversies behave heard in conversation from one of the great-tween grammar and idiom. st geniuses this age has produced." I think I have only considered our language as it shows He may add to the foregoing observation, the the genius and natural temper of the English, change which has happened in our language, by which is modest, thoughtful, and sincere, and which the abbreviation of several words that are termi- perhaps may recommend the people, though it has nated in 'eth,' by substituting an s in the room of spoiled the tongue. We might perhaps carry the the last syllable, as in drowns, walks, arrives,' same thought into other languages, and deduce a and innumerable other words, which in the pro- great part of what is peculiar to them from the nciation of our forefathers were drowneth, genius of the people who speak them. It is cerwalketh, arriveth. This has wonderfully multi-tain, the light talkative humour of the French has pied a letter which was before too frequent in the not a little infected their tongue, which might be • Swift. shown by many instances; as the genius of the Ita. remony, has moulded all their words and phrases can think of in nature. The other day, when one to those particular uses. The stateliness and gra- was commending an eminent and learned divine, vity of the Spaniards shows itself to perfection in the solemnity of their language; and the blunt honest humour of the Germans sounds better in the roughness of the High-Dutch, than it would in a politer tongue. ADDISON. No 136. MONDAY, AUGUST 6, 1711. - Parthis mendacior HOR. Ep. i. 1. 2. ver. 112. A greater liar Parthia never bred. C. what occasion in the world had 1 to say, 'Methinks he would look more venerable if he were not so fair a man? I remember the company smiled. I have seen the gentleman since, and he is coal-black. I have intimations every day in my life that nobody believes me, yet I am never the better. I was saying something the other day to an old friend at Will's coffee-house, and he made me no manner of answer; but told me that an acquaintance of Tully the orator having two or three times together said to him, without receiving any answer, "that upon his honour he was but that very month forty years of age;" Tully answered, "Surely you think me the most incredulous man in the world, if I do not believe ACCORDING to the request of this strange fellow, what you have told me every day these ten years." I shall print the following letter: 'MR. SPECTATOR, The mischief of it is, I find myself wonderfully inclined to have been present at every occurrence that is spoken of before me; this has led me into "I SHALL without any manner of preface or apo-many inconveniencies, but indeed they have been logy acquaint you, that I am, and ever have been the fewer, because I am no ill-natured man, and from my youth upward, one of the greatest liars never speak things to any man's disadvantage. this island has produced. I have read all the Mo. I never directly defame, but I do what is as bad in ralists upon the subject, but could never find the consequence, for I have often made a man say any effect their discourses had upon me, but to such and such a lively expression, who was born add to my misfortune by new thoughts and ideas, a mere elder brother. When one has said in my and making me more ready in my language, and hearing, "Such a one is no wiser than he should capable of sometimes mixing seeming truths with be," I immediately have replied, "Now, faith, I my improbabilities. With this strong passion to- cannot see that, he said a very good thing to my wards falsehood in this kind, there does not live Lord Such-a-one, upon such an occasion, and the an honester man, or a sincerer friend; but my ima- like." Such an honest dolt as this has been gination runs away with me, and whatever is start-watched in every expression he uttered, upon my ed, I have such a scene of adventures appears in recommendation of him, and consequently been an instant before me, that I cannot help uttering subject to the more ridicule. I once endeavoured them; though to my immediate confusion, I can- to cure myself of this impertinent quality, and re not but know I am liable to be detected by the solved to hold my tongue for seven days together first man I meet. I did so, but then I had so many winks and un Upon occasion of the mention of the battle of necessary distortions of my face upon what any Pultowa,* I could not forbear giving an account of body else said, that I found I only forbore the ex a kinsman of mine, a young merchant who was pression, and that I still lied in my heart to every bred at Moscow, that had too much mettle to at-man I met with. You are to know one thing tend books of entries and accounts, when there (which I believe you will say is a pity, consider was so active a scene in the country where he re-ing the use I should have made of it,) I never tra sided, and followed the Czar as a volunteer. This velled in my life; but I do not know whether warm youth (born at the instant the thing was could have spoken of any foreign country with spoke of) was the man who unhorsed the Swedish more familiarity than I do at present, in company general, he was the occasion that the Muscovites who are strangers to me. I have cursed the inn kept their fire in so soldier-like a manner, and in Germany; commended the brothels at Venice brought up those troops which were covered from the freedom of conversation in France; and though the enemy at the beginning of the day; besides I never was out of this dear town, and fifty mile this, he had at last the good fortune to be the man about it, have been three nights together dogge who took count Piper. With all this fire I knew by bravoes, for an intrigue with a cardinal's mis my cousin to be the civilest creature in the world. tress at Rome. He never made any impertinent show of his va- 'It were endless to give you particulars of thi lour, and then he had an excellent genius for the kind; but I can assure you, Mr. Spectator, then world in every other kind. I had letters from are about twenty or thirty of us in this town him (here I felt in my pockets) that exactly spoke mean by this town the cities of London and West the Czar's character, which I knew perfectly well; minster; I say there are in town a sufficient num and I could not forbear concluding, that I lay ber of us to make a society among ourselves; an with his imperial majesty twice or thrice a week since we cannot be believed any longer, I beg all the while he lodged at Deptford. What is you to print this my letter, that we may meet to worse than all this, it is impossible to speak to me, gether, and be under such regulation as there ma but you give me some occasion of coming out with be no occasion for belief or confidence among u one lie, or other, that has neither wit, humour, If you think fit, we might be called "the histo prospect of interest, or any other motive that Irians," for liar is become a very harsh word. An Russia, July 8, 1709. + Charles XIIth's prime minister. that a member of the society may not hereafter * Between Charles XII. of Sweden and Peter I. emperor of ill received by the rest of the world, I desire you would explain a little this sort of men, and not le In the winter of 1697-8, the Czar had apartments at the seat us historians be ranked, as we are in the imagina of Mr. Evelyn, at Deptford; from which a back-door was open- tions of ordinary people, among common liars ed into the king's yard, through which he could go among the ship-builders, who showed him their draughts, and the method of make-bates, impostors, and incendiaries. For you laying down any vessel by the rules of proportion, &c, instruction herein, you are to know that an histo er day, we a learned m 1 to st rable if er the an site, s ever s yet ng the ce house, but to years of do hese teag elf wou ery has lect they ured da 'SIR, 'August 2, 1711. rian in conversation is only a person of so pregnant happy as their condition will admit of. There are, a fancy, that he cannot be contented with ordi- as these unhappy correspondents inform me, masnary occurrences. I know a man of quality of our ters who are offended at a cheerful countenance, order, who is of the wrong side of forty-three, and and think a servant is broke loose from them, if he has been of that age, according to Tully's jest, for does not preserve the utmost awe in their presome years since, whose vein is upon the romantic. sence. There is one who says, if he looks satisfied, Give him the least occasion, and he will tell you his master asks him, what makes him so pert something so very particular that happened in such this morning? if a little, sour, Hark ye, sirrah, a year, and in such company, where by the bye are not you paid your wages? The poor creatures was present such a one, who was afterwards made live in the most extreme misery together: the such a thing-Out of all these circumstances, in master knows not how to preserve respect, nor ater bar the best language in the world, he will join to- the servant how to give it. It seems this person is gether with such probable incidents an account of so sullen a nature, that he knows but little satisthat shows a person of the deepest penetration, faction in the midst of a plentiful fortune, and sethe honest mind, and withal something so humble cretly frets to see any appearance of content in when be speaks of himself, that you would ad- one that lives upon the hundredth part of his inmire. Dear sir, why should this be lying? there is come, while he is unhappy in the possession of nothing so instructive. He has withal the gravest the whole. Uneasy persons, who cannot possess aspect; something so very venerable and great! their own minds, vent their spleen upon all who Another of these historians is a young man whom depend upon them; which, I think, is expressed we would take in, though he extremely wants in a lively manner in the following letters. parts; as people send children (before they can learn any thing) to school, to keep them out of harm's way. He tells things which have nothing I HAVE read your Spectator of the third of the at all in them, and can neither please nor displease, last month, and wish I had the happiness of being madebut merely take up your time to no manner of pur preferred to serve so good a master as Sir Roger. pose, no manner of delight; but he is good-natured, The character of my master is the very reverse of stand does it because he loves to be saying some that good and gentle knight's. All his directions the thing to you, and entertain you. are given, and his mind revealed, by way of contraries; as when any thing is to be remembered, with a peculiar cast of face he cries, "Be sure to forget now." If I am to make haste back, "Do not come these two hours; be sure to call by the way upon some of your companions." Then an other excellent way of his is, if he sets me any thing to do, which he knows must necessarily take up half a day, he calls ten times in a quarter of an hour to know whether I have done yet. This is his manner; and the same perverseness runs through all his actions, according as the circumstances vary. Besides all this, he is so suspicious, that he submits himself to the drudgery of a spy. Then, sir, there is my little merchant, honest He is as unhappy himself as he makes his servants: Indigo of the 'Change; there is my man for loss he is constantly watching us, and we differ no and gain; there is tare and tret, there is lying all more in pleasure and liberty than as a gaoler and round the globe; he has such a prodigious intelli-a prisoner. Ile lays traps for faults, and no sooner gence, he knows all the French are doing, or what makes a discovery, but falls into such language, as we intend or ought to intend, and has it from such I am more ashamed of for coming from him, than I could name you a soldier that hath done very great things without slaughter; he is prodigiously dull and slow of head, but what he can say is for ever false, so that we must have him. Give me leave to tell you of one more, who is 1 lover; he is the most afflicted creature in the world, lest what happened between him and a great beauty should ever be known. Yet again he comforts himself. 66 Hang the jade her woman. If money can keep the slut trusty I will do it, though I mortgage every acre; Anthony and Cleo patra for that; All for Love and the World well et lost." hands. But, alas, whither am I running! while 1 for being directed to me. This, sir, is a short mplain, while I remonstrate to you, even all sketch of a master 1 have served upwards of nine this is a lie, and there is not one such person of years; and though I have never wronged him, I quality, lover, soldier, or merchant, as I have now confess my despair of pleasing him has very much described in the whole world, that I know of abated my endeavour to do it. If you will give But I will catch myself once in my life, and in me leave to steal a sentence out of my master's spite of nature speak one truth, to wit, that I am, Clarendon, I shall tell you my case in a word, Your humble servant, &c.' Being used worse than I deserved, I cared less to deserve well than I had done." T. 'I am, SIR, 'Your humble servant, 'RALPH VALET.' STEELE. N° 137. TUESDAY, AUGUST 7, 1711. c etiam servis semper libera fuerunt, timerent, gauderent, darent, suo potius quam alterius arbitrio. TULL. Epist. when slaves were always at liberty to fear, rejoice, and grieve, at their own, rather than another's pleasure. It is no small concern to me, that I find so many The Lying Lover," from which Foote afterwards borrowed the 6 DEAR MR. SPECTER, under both my lady and her woman. I am so I stand at one end of the room, and reach things Y • No. 10% No 138. WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 8, 1711. Utitur in re non dubia testibus non necessariis. TULL. hear, and have half brought it, when the woman meets me in the middle of the room to receive it, and at that instant she says, "No, she will not have it." Then I go back, and her woman comes up to her, and by this time she will have that, and two or three things more in an instant. The woman and I run to each other; I am loaded and deHe uses unnecessary proofs in an indisputable point. livering the things to her, when my lady says she wants none of all these things, and we are the dull-ONE meets now and then with persons who are exest creatures in the world, and she the unhappiest tremely learned and knotty in expounding clear woman living, for she shall not be drest in any time. cases. Tully tells us of an author that spent some Thus we stand not knowing what to do, when our good lady, with all the patience in the world, tells pages to prove that generals could not perform the us as plain as she can speak, that she will have great enterprises which had made them so illustrious, if they had not had men. He asserted also, temper because we have no manner of understand- it seems, that a minister at home, no more than a ing; and begins again to dress, and see if we can commander abroad, could do any thing without find out of ourselves what we are to do. When other men were his instruments and assistants. she is dressed she goes to dinner, and after she On this occasion he produces the example of The has disliked every thing there, she calls for her mistocles, Pericles, Cyrus, and Alexander himself, coach, then commands it in again, and then she whom he denies to have been capable of effecting will not go out at all, and then will go too, and what they did, except they had been followed by orders the chariot. Now, good Mr. Specter, I de- others. It is pleasant enough to see such persons sire you would, in the behalf of all who serve fro- contend without opponents, and triumph without ward ladies, give out in your paper, that nothing victory. can be done without allowing time for it, and that The author above-mentioned by the orator is one cannot be back again with what one was sent placed for ever in a very ridiculous light, and for, if one is called back before one can go a step we meet every day in conversation such as deserve for that they want. And if you please, let them the same kind of renown, for troubling those with know that all mistresses are as like as all servants. 'I am your loving friend, 'PATIENCE GIDDY.' whom they converse with the like certainties. The persons that I have always thought to deserve the highest admiration in this kind are your ordinary story-tellers, who are most religiously careful of These are great calamities; but I met the other keeping to the truth in every particular circumday in the Five-fields, towards Chelsea, a plea- stance of a narration, whether it concern the main santer tyrant than either of the above represented. end or not. A gentleman whom I had the honour A fat fellow was passing on in his open waistcoat: to be in company with the other day, upon some a boy of fourteen in a livery, carrying after him his occasion that he was pleased to take, said, he recloak, upper coat, hat, wig, and sword. The poor membered a very pretty repartee made by a very lad was ready to sink with the weight, and could witty man in King Charles's time upon the like not keep up with his master, who turned back occasion. I remember, (said he, upon entering every half furlong, and wondered what made the into the tale) much about the time of Oates's plot, lazy young dog lag behind. that a cousin-german of mine and I were at the There is something very unaccountable, that Bear in Holborn: no, I am out, it was at the people cannot put themselves in the condition of Cross-keys; but Jack Thomson was there, for he the persons below them, when they consider the was very great with the gentleman who made the commands they give. But there is nothing more answer. But I am sure it was spoken somewhere common, than to see a fellow (who, if he were re- thereabouts, for we drank a bottle in that neigh duced to it, would not be hired by any man living) bourhood every evening: but no matter for all lament that he is troubled with the most worthless that, the thing is the same; but dogs in nature. He was going on to settle the geography of the It would, perhaps, be running too far out of jest when I left the room, wondering at this odd common life to urge, that he who is at master of turn of head which can play away its words, with himself and his own passions, cannot be a proper uttering nothing to the purpose, still observing its master of another. Equanimity in a man's own own impertinencies, and yet proceeding in them. words and actions, will easily diffuse itself through I do not question but he informed the rest of his his whole family. Pamphilio has the happiest audience, who had more patience than I, of the household of any man I know, and that proceeds birth and parentage, as well as the collateral allifrom the humane regard he has to them in their ances of his family who made the repartee, and of private persons, as well as in respect that they are him who provoked him to it. his servants. If there be any occasion, wherein It is no small misfortune to any who have a just they may in themselves be supposed to be unfit to value for their time, when this quality of being so attend their master's concerns by reason of any at- very circumstantial, and careful to be exact, hap tention to their own, he is so good as to place pens to show itself in a man whose quality obliges himself in their condition. I thought it very be- them to attend bis proofs, that it is now day, and coming in him, when at dinner the other day he the like. But this is augmented when the same ge made an apology for want of more attendants. He nius gets into authority, as it often does. Nay, I said, One of my footmen is gone to the wedding have known it more than once ascend the very pulof his sister, and the other I do not expect to wait pit. One of this sort taking it in his head to be a because his father died but two days ago.' great admirer of Dr. Tillotson and Dr. Beveridge, never failed of proving out of these great authors, things which no man living would have denied him upon his own single authority. One day resolving to come to the point in hand, he said, according to that excellent divine, I will enter upon the |