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Crt he, "
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No answer to this, till Anna Bella sends a desescription of those she calls the best-bred men in the world. tplas
versation between ladies and gentlemen, regulated, shaped arm held a fan over her face. It was not
'Your admirer, and
Taxa gentleman who for many years last past have been well known to be truly splenetic, and that my spleen arises from having contracted so great a delicacy, by reading the best authors, and keeping the most refined company, that I cannot bear the least impropriety of language, or rusticity of behaviour. Now, sir, I have ever looked upon this as a wise distemper; but by late observations find, that every heavy wretch, who has nothing to excuses his dulness by complaining of the spleen. Nay, I saw, the other day, two fellows in a tavern kitchen set up for it, call for a pint and pipes, and only by guzzling liquor to each other's health, and wafting smoke in each other's face, pretend to throw off the spleen. I appeal to you, whether these dishonours are to be done to the distemper of the great and the polite. I beseech you, sir, to inform these fellows that they have not the spleen, because they cannot talk without the help of a glass at their mouths, or convey their meaning to each other without the interposition of clouds. If you will not do this with all speed, I assure you it. A concert of music shall be prepared at Ha
'KING LATINUS TO THE SPECTATOR, GREETING. THOUGH Some may think we descend from our imperial dignity, in holding correspondence with a private litterato; yet as we have great respect to all good intentions for our service, we do not esteem it beneath us to return you our royal thanks for what you published in our behalf, while under confinement in the enchanted castle of the Savoy, and for your mention of a subsidy for a prince in misfortune. This your timely zeal has inclined the hearts of divers to be aiding unto us, if we could propose the means. We have taken their goodwill into consideration, and have contrived a method which will be easy to those who shall give the aid, and not unacceptable to us who receive
'I am, SIR,
for my part, I will wholly quit the disease, and for berdasher's-hall, for Wednesday the second of May,
́LATINUS, KING OF THE VOLSCIANS”.
Given at our court in Vinegar-yard, story the
'I am, SIR,
" Your most obedient servant.'
sidered as a Pict, and proceed accordingly.
Tas is to let you understand that I am a reformed starer, and conceived a detestation for that practice from what you have writ upon the subject. But as you have been very severe upon the behaviour of us men at divine service, I hope you will not be so apparently partial to the women,
as to let them go wholly unobserved. If they do third from the earth, April 28, 1711.'
Strenua nos exercet inertia.
every thing that is possible to attract our eyes, are
most beautiful bosom imaginable, which heaved and fell with some fervour, while a delicate well
N° 54. WEDNESDAY, MAY 2, 1711.
* See No. 22.
'Cambridge, April 25.
C BELIEVING you to be an universal encourager of
culations as yet no further than bowling greens,
'I am, SIR, yours.'
of a sect of philosophers, very frequent among us, Our young students are content to carry their spe-
are so far from being of his opinion, that it is death The Loungers are satisfied with being merely
may be soon confuted.
I have with great pains and industry made my observations, from time to time, upon these sages; and, having now all materials ready, am compiling
a treatise, wherein I shall set forth the rise and
"That the devil is at home." Now for their man. ner of living; and here I have a large field to ex
patiate in; but I shall reserve particulars for my colate-houses from hour, to hour, to get over the
insupportable labour of doing nothing.
intended discourse, and now only mention one or two of their principal exercises. The elder profioients employ themselves in inspecting mores hominum multorum, in getting acquainted with all the signs and windows in the town. Some are arrived to so great knowledge, that they can tell every time any butcher kills a calf, every time an old woman's cat is in the straw; and a thousand other matters as important. One ancient philosopher
contemplates two or three hours every day over a sun-dial; and is true to the dial,
"As the dial to the sun, Although it be not shone upon."
*The letter supposed to be by Eusden, afterwards poet lau
When a government flourishes in conquests, and is secure from foreign attacks, it naturally falls into all the pleasures of luxury; and as these pleasures are very expensive, they put those who are addicted to them upon raising fresh supplies of money, by all the methods of rapaciousness and corruption; so that avarice and luxury very often become one complicated principle of action, in those whose hearts are wholly set upon ease, mag nificence, and pleasure. The most elegant and correct of all the Latin historians* observes, that in his time, when the most formidable states of the world were subdued by the Romans, the republic
Most of the trades, professions, and ways of living mong mankind, take their original either from the sunk into those two vices of a quite different na love of pleasure, or the fear of want. The former, ture, luxury and avarice: and accordingly dewhen it becomes too violent, degenerates into Lux-scribes Catiline as one who coveted the wealth of try, and the latter into Avarice. As these two other men, at the same time that he squandered principles of action draw different ways, Persius away his own. This observation on the commonhas given us a very humorous account of a young wealth, when it was in its height of power and follow who was roused out of his bed in order to riches, holds good of all governments that are setbe sent upon a long voyage, by Avarice, and after-tled in a state of ease and prosperity. At such times wards over-persuaded and kept at home by Lux-men naturally endeavour to outshine one another Ly. I shall set down the pleadings of these two in pomp and splendour, and having no fears to alarm imaginary persons, as they are in the original, with them from abroad, indulge themselves in the enjoy4. Dryden's translation of them: ment of all the pleasures they can get into their possession; which naturally produces avarice, and an immoderate pursuit after wealth and riches.
As I was humouring myself in the speculation of these two great principles of action, I could not forbear throwing my thoughts into a little kind of allegory or fable, with which I shall here present my reader.
N° 55. THURSDAY, MAY 3, 1711.
- Intus, et in jecore ægro Nascuntur Domini ;———
PERS, Sat. v. 129.
Our passions play the tyrants in our breasts.
Mane piger, stertis: surge, inquit Avaritia; eja
Negas. Instat, surge, inquit. Non queo. Surge. fed agam Regilas? saperdas advehe ponto, merem, stuppas, hebenum, thus, lubrica Coa. le recens primus piper e sitiente camelo.
e quad; jura. Sed Jupiter audiet. Eheu!
dum moment; quo deinde insane ruts? Quo?
in transtro? Veientanumque rubellum =repida læsum pice sessilis obba?
petia? Ut nummi, quos hic quincunce modesto
memar lethi: fugit hora. Hoc quod loquor, inde est.
Sat. v. 131.
Whether alone, or in thy harlot's lap,
est thy limbs and yawn'st, but all in vain. rugged tyrant no denial takes;
command th' unwilling sluggard wakes. must I do? he cries; What? says his lord; rise, make ready, and go straight aboard: sh, from Euxine seas, thy vessel freight; Castor, Coan wines, the precious weight per, and Sabean incense, take thy own hands, from the tir'd camel's back, th post-haste thy running markets make. to turn the penny; lie and swear, holesome sin: but Jove, thou say'st, will hear. ford, or starve; for the dilemma's even; man thou! and hope to go to heav'n? s'd for sea, the slaves thy baggage pack, addled with his burden on his back: retards thy voyage now, but he, voluptuous prince, called Luxury; may ask this civil question; Friend, st thou make a shipboard? To what end? of Bethlem's noble college free? staring mad, that thou would'st tempt the sea? in a cabin, on a mattress laid,
wn George, with lousy swobbers fed;
me that stinks of the Borachio, sup
foul jack, or greasy maple cup?
and to thy genius freely give;
to live at ease, is not to live.
talks behind thee, and each flying hour
a nothing but an old wife's tale.
There were two very powerful tyrants engaged in a perpetual war against each other, the name of the first was Luxury, and of the second Avarice. The aim of each of them was no less than universal monarchy over the hearts of mankind. Luxury had many generals under him, who did him great service, as Pleasure, Mirth, Pomp, and Fashion. Avarice was likewise very strong in his officers, being faithfully served by Hunger, Industry, Care, and Watchfulness: he had likewise a privy-counsellor who was always at his elbow, and whispering something or other in his ear; the name of this privy-counsellor was Poverty. As Avarice conducted himself by the counsels of Poverty, his antagonist was entirely guided by the dictates and advice of Plenty, who was his first counsellor and minister of state, that concerted all his measures for him, and never departed out of his sight. While these two great rivals were thus contending for empire, their conquests were very various. Luxury got possession of one heart and Avarice of another. The father of a family would often range himself under the banners of Avarice, and the son under those of Luxury. The wife and the husband would often declare themselves on the two different parties; nay, the same person would very often side with one in his youth, and revolt to the other in his old age. Indeed the wise men of the world stood neuter; but, alas! their numbers were not considerable. At length, when these two potentates had wearied themselves with waging war upon one another, they agreed upon an interview, at which none of their counsellors were to be present. It is said that Luxury began the parley, and after having represented the endless state of war in which they were engaged, told his enemy, with a frankness of heart which is natural to him, that he believed they two should be very good friends, were it not for the instigations of Poverty, that pernicious counsellor, who made an ill use of his ear, and filled him
with groundless apprehensions and prejudices. To
The visionary, whose name was Marraton, after this Avarice replied, that he looked upon Plenty having travelled for a long space under an hollow (the first minister of his antagonist) to be a much mountain, arrived at length on the confines of this more destructive counsellor than Poverty, for that world of spirits, but could not enter it by reason he was perpetually suggesting pleasures, banishing of a thick forest made up of bushes, brambles, and all the necessary cautions against want, and consc-pointed thorns, so perplexed and interwoven with quently undermining those principles on which the one another, that it was impossible to find a pas. government of Avarice was founded. At last, in sage through it. Whilst he was looking about for order to an accommodation, they agreed upon this some track or path-way that might be worn in any preliminary; that each of them should immediately part of it, he saw a huge lion couched under the dismiss his privy-counsellor. When things were side of it, who kept his eye upon him in the same thus far adjusted towards a peace, all other differ posture as when he watches for his prey. The Inences were soon accommodated, insomuch that for dian immediately started back, while the lion rose the future they resolved to live as good friends and with a spring, and leaped towards him. Being confederates, and to share between them whatever wholly destitute of all other weapons, he stooped conquests were made on either side. For this rea- down to take up an huge stone in his hand; but to son, we now find Luxury and Avarice taking pos. his infinite surprise grasped nothing, and found the session of the same heart, and dividing the same supposed stone to be only the 'apparition of one. person between them. To which I shall only add, If he was disappointed on this side, he was as much that since the discarding of the counsellors above- pleased on the other, when he found the lion, which mentioned, Avarice supplies Luxury in the room had seized on his left shoulder, bad no power to of Plenty, as Luxury prompts Avarice in the place hurt him, and was only the ghost of that ravenous of Poverty. creature which it appeared to be. He no sooner got rid of his impotent enemy, but he marched up to the wood, and after having surveyed it for some time, endeavoured to press into one part of it that was a little thinner than the rest; when again, to his great surprise, he found the bushes made no resistance, but that he walked through briars and brambles with the same ease as through the open air; and, in short, that the whole wood was nothing else but a wood of shades. He immediately concluded, that this huge thicket of thorns and brakes was designed as a kind of fence or quickset hedge to the ghosts it enclosed; and that probably their soft substances might be torn by these subtle points and prickles, which were too weak to make
Felices errore suo-
THE Americans believe that all creatures have souls,
the soul of the loadstone.
There is a tradition among the Americans, that looked upon him very attentively, and found him one of their countrymen descended in a vision to to be the young prince Nicharagua, who died the great repository of souls, or, as we call it here, about half a year before, and by reason of bie to the other world; and that upon his return he great virtues was at that time lamented over all gave his friends a distinct account of every thing the western parts of America. he saw among those regions of the dead. Å friend He had no sooner got out of the wood, but he of mine, whom I have formerly mentioned, pre- was entertained with such a landscape of flowery vailed upon one of the interpreters of the Indian plains, green meadows, running streams, sunny kings, to inquire of them, if possible, what tradi- hills, and shady vales, as were not to be represented tion they have among them of this matter: which, by his own expressions, nor, as he said, by the con as well as he could learn by those many questions ceptions of others. This happy region was peopled which he asked them at several times, was in sub- with innumerable swarms of spirits, who applied themselves to exercises and diversions, according as their fancies led them. Some of them were tossing the figure of a coit; others were pitching
stance as follows:
N° 56. FRIDAY, MAY 4, 1711.
*See No. 50, and Tat. No. 171.
LUCAN i. 454.
the shadow of a bar; others were breaking the apparition of a horse; and multitudes employing themselves upon ingenious handicrafts with the souls of departed utensils, for that is the name which in the Indian language they give their tools when they are burnt or broken. As he travelled through this delightful scene, he was very often tempted to pluck the flowers that rose every where orn in about him in the greatest variety and profusion,
the shaving never seen several of them in his own counThey but he quickly found, that though they were elic me objects of his sight, they were not liable to his WHEN the wife of Hector, in Homer's Iliad, disn. Bex touch. He at length came to the side of a great courses with her husband about the battle in which riter, and being a good fisherman himself, stood he was going to engage, the hero, desiring her to upon the banks of it some time to look upon an leave the matter to his care, bids her go to her angler that had taken a great many shapes of maids, and mind her spinning: by which the poet fishes, which lay flouncing up and down by him. intimates, that men and women ought to busy themI should have told my reader, that this Indian selves in their proper spheres, and on such matters Ion, vi had been formerly married to one of the greatest only as are suitable to their respective sex. beauties of his country, by whom he had several I am at this time acquainted with a young genchildren. This couple were so famous for their tleman, who has passed a great part of his life in the love and constancy to one another, that the Indians nursery, and upon occasion can make a caudle or to this day, when they give a married man joy of a sack posset better than any man in England. He his wife, wish they may live together like Marraton is likewise a wonderful critic in cambrics and musand Yaratilda. Marraton had not stood long by lins, and he will talk an hour together upon a the fisherman, when he saw the shadow of his be- sweet-meat. He entertains his mother every night loved Yaratilda, who had for some time fixed her with observations that he makes both in town and eye upon him, before he discovered her. Her arms court: as what lady shows the nicest fancy in her were stretched out towards him, floods of tears ran dress; what man of quality wears the fairest wig; down her eyes: her looks, her hands, her voice who has the finest linen, who the prettiest snuffcalled him over to her; and at the same time box, with many other the like curious remarks, seemed to tell him that the river was unpassable. that may be made in good company. Who can describe the passion made up of joy, sorrow, love, desire, astonishment, that rose in the Indian upon the sight of his dear Yaratilda? He could express it by nothing but his tears, which ran like a river down his cheeks as he looked upon her. He had not stood in this posture long, before be plunged into the stream that lay before him; and finding it to be nothing but the phantom of a and calls him an impudent dog; and if her servant river, stalked on the bottom of it till he arose on neglects his business, threatens to kick him out of the other side. At his approach Yaratilda flew into the house. I have heard her in her wrath call a his arms, whilst Marraton wished himself disen- substantial tradesman a lousy cur; and remember cumbered of that body which kept her from his one day, when she could not think of the name of embraces. After many questions and endearments a person, she described him, in a large company on both sides, she conducted him to a bower which of men and ladies, by the fellow with the broad he had dressed with all the ornaments that could shoulders.
On the other hand, I have very frequently the opportunity of seeing a rural Andromache, who came up to town last winter, and is one of the greatest fox-hunters in the country. She talks of hounds and horses, and makes nothing of leaping over a six-bar gate. If a man tells her a waggish story, she gives him a push with her hand in jest,
be met with in those blooming regions. She had If those speeches and actions, which in their own made it gay beyond imagination, and was every nature are indifferent, appear ridiculous when they day adding something new to it. As Marraton proceed from a wrong sex, the faults and imperfecstood astonished at the unspeakable beauty of her tions of one sex transplanted into another, appear habitation, and ravished with the fragrancy that black and monstrous. As for the men, I shall not came from every part of it, Yaratilda told him that in this paper any further concern myself about she was preparing this bower for his reception, as them; but as I would fain contribute to make well knowing that his piety to his God, and his womankind, which is the most beautiful part of the faithful dealing towards men, would certainly creation, entirely amiable, and wear out all those bring him to that happy place, whenever his life little spots and blemishes, that are apt to rise among should be at an end. She then brought two of the charms which nature has poured out upon them, her children to him, who died some years before, I shall dedicate this paper to their service. The and resided with her in the same delightful bower; spot which I would here endeavour to clear them advising him to breed up those others which were of, is that party rage which of late years is very l with him in such a manner, that they might much crept into their conversation. This is, in its hereafter all of them meet together in this happy nature, a male vice, and made up of many angry place. and cruel passions that are altogether repugnant to The tradition tells us further, that he had after the softness, the modesty, and those other endearwards a sight of those dismal habitations which are ing qualities which are natural to the fair sex. the portion of ill men after death; and mentions Women were formed to temper mankind, and several molten seas of gold, in which were plunged soothe them into tenderness and compassion; not to the souls of barbarous Europeans, who put to the set an edge upon their minds, and blow up in them sword so many thousands of poor Indians for the those passions which are too apt to rise of their sake of that precious metal. But having already own accord. When I have seen a pretty mouth the chief points of this tradition, and uttering calumnies and invectives, what would exceeded the measure of my paper, I shall not give I not have given to have stopt it? How I bave any further account of it, been troubled to see some of the finest features in
N° 57. SATURDAY, MAY 5, 1711.
Quem præstare potest mulier galeata pudorem,
JUV. Sat. vi. 251. What sense of shame in woman's breast can lie, Inur'd to arms, and her own sex to fly?