LETTER ON MILITARY MOTIONS, FROM THE WIFE OF A VOLUNTEER. To the EDITORS of the SPORTING MAGAZINE. I GENTLEMEN, Have lately feen a letter intended as a plea for bachelors, in which the writer complains of the many hardships they are fubject to, particularly in being called out in these troublesome times to fight their country's battles. Truly, Sirs, I cannot but think they have little reafon to complain. Those who have no families of their own, ought to fight for those who have. I am fure, Sirs, if bachelors have reafon to complain, we married women have much more reason, and I will tell you why. You are to know that my hufband, a very reputable tradefman, VOL. XIII. No. 73. belongs to what they call a volun❤ teer corps; and fince he was perfuaded to enlift among them, our house resembles a barrack, and our fhop is nothing but a field of battle. I really believe his head is turned, for I can fcarcely understand one word in ten he fays, though before this he was as plain-spoken a man as any in the town; ay, and he was humble too, and could make fuch a bow to a customer as would induce him to come back again; but now, I firmly believe, he frightens them all away. He carries his head fo high, that you would think our customers were obliged to pay him as much refpect as if he were a Lord; and although I have faid every thing in my power to him, he will perfift in his new way, which he calls exercife. I did but hint the other day, that when Mr. D -'s wife came into our fhop, he ought to have D made 6 made a civil bow at leaft; but inftead of that, he stood fo erect that I am fure he could not fee the very article he was weighing out. For heaven's fake,' fays I, Mr. M, why do you ftand fo when a customer is in the fhop?' 'Peace, woman,' fays he, and by the bye he never called me by fuch a name before, Peace, woman! and know that the equal fquarenefs of the fhoulders and body to the front, is the firft and great principle of the pofition. Lord preferve us, Mr. Mwhy you are mad.' The heels muft be in a line, and clofed.' Why what fignifies where your heels are, when you are ferving a cuftomer. The knees ftraight, without ftiffnefs. Lord, Mr M- -, what do they care about the ftiffness of your knees?' "quick! march!' Then, firs, he endeavours to reconcile me to all this in the ftrangeft way My dear Molly, formerly we had more motions than we have now, ay, five to one-now mark, I had a motion this morning-I'll fhew it to you.' Lord! Mr. M what are you about? See here, there's a jerk-now that would have coft an old foldier three mo tions' and then he goes on with a broom-ftick in his hand, or a poker, or any thing that falls in his way, and raves about the number of motions he has had, and about one Brown Befs, whom he fays he first learnt to place on his left hand against his fhoulder, that I proteft I believe the man is either out of his fenfes, or fomething worse. Noify as he is himself, he will alow nobody elfe to make ufe of The toes, mind that, woman, their tongues. If I am prattling to the toes turned out, fo that-look my children in the back parlour, now-fo that the feet may form an he calls out, order! and fometimes, angle of about fixty degrees; do attention! although he has not a you fee that, woman ?' I am word to fay; indeed he has got fure, hufband, you are many de fuch a tyrannical way of commandgrees worfe fince you began to be ing, that every body is frightened a foldier.' The arms-now at him, for he never fpeaks but as mark me, Molly, the arms hang if he were on the top of a hill, calnear the body, but not stiff;-mindling to fomebody at the top of anothat not fiff; the flat of the hand, ther. ther. If he fays grace at dinner, and the litue finger, touching the he concludes it with bawling out, thigh, and the thumbs-now do at- handle arms! and keeps finding tend, Molly,--the thumbs as far fault with the children all the time back as the feams of the breeches.' for not using their knife and fork Lord, M. M, you are properly, threatening to drill them enough to drive me mad: how is ill they are perfect. When my our trade to go on, if your arms little girl cut her finger the other are to hang by your fide? and what day, Fie, Sukey,' faid he, "podo your customers care about the fitively you belong to the aukward feams of your breeches ?? fquad; you fhould have firmly graf ed the butt-end of your knife, then twirled it round at one motion, bringing the fork into a line with it and then defcribing an angie of forty degrees with your mouth-but you will never learn the new manual.' If they happen not to fit near enough the table, he cries out, Rear ranks close to the But all this. irs, is preaching to the wind; he feems fo fa allowed up in execle, as he calls it, that he minds me no more than if 1 were not prefent; or if I pull him by the fteve, and intreat him to mind his bufinefs, he cries out, with a voice loud enough to be heard at the end of the street, front;' front; and if they are not placed in due order, he gives one of them a tap on the fhios with a fwitch, which he always carries about him, and fays, "You blockhead, you have broke the line.'-Such reftraint are we under, that we are glad when he goes out, for then he orders us to 'ftand eafy,' which is a great relief to us. On Sunday, I am quite afhamed to go to church with him, for he obliges us all to march as if we were foldiers, two and two, and generally detains us fo long before we are in order of marching, as he calls it, that we have never got to church before the first leffon, fince he joined the corps. At prayers, he calls out, loud enough to be heard all round, front rank kneel!' and as foon as the bleffing is pronounced, he cries, recover!' In fhort, Sir, his whole language and manners are fo altered, that although I may have a very expert foldier in my houfe, I have no longer an attentive hufband, nor a tradefman. He is very right to fay that they have taught him fewer motions than formerly. I am fure there have been no mo. tions in this houfe for the last three months, but with that Brown Befs he talks about; nor can his best friends get even a motion of the head from him, for he maintains that the head fhould be erect, and neither turned to the right or to the left,' and this, he fays, the Duke of York orders. I am fure if the Duke of York knew how difficult it is for a retail hopkeeper to carry on his trade without turning his head to the right or the left, he would never have given fuch orders. There is but one thing, indeed, which comforts me a little, though you will think it but a forry comfort, and that is, that many wives in the town are juft as badly off as myself. All their husbands have the fame fquareness of the shoulders and body to the front; their heels are all in a line, and their thumbs are all as far back as the feams of the breeches. I'll warrant you, they will fay the Duke of York (God bless him) has ordered this too, but I will never believe it. However, as we are all alike, we wives endeavour to comfort ourfelves the best way we can, and hope that when the French are driven from our coafts, or forced to make peace with us, our husbands will come round again, and fet their fhoulders to their bufinefs, and turn in their toes in a tradefman-like manner. And now, Sirs, I have been thinking, that if we women, as at present we have really nothing to do, were to learn a little of this new exercise, we might form a very refpectable company. As our husbands will no longer let us go halves in their motions, I think it is but fair we fhould learn to employ our talents for the good of the nation. We read in a book of voyages, that one of the Weft India iflands was poffeffed by a tribe of females, who kept all the neighbouring Indians in awe; but we need not go farther than our age and nation, to prove that the fpirit and conftitution of the fair fex are equal to the dangers and fatigues of war. In the history of the Pirates, there is the account of Mary Read and Ann Bonny; and then there was mother Wade, who had diftinguished herself among the Buccaneers of America, and in her old age kept a punch-houfe in Port Royal, in Jamaica. Likewife Moll Davis, who had ferved as a dragoon in Queen Anne's wars, and was admitted on the penfion of Chelsea. And don't we hear every day of women in men's clothes, ferving in the navy and army? But this I throw out rather as a hint to our husbands, that while they are fo very attentive to their motions and manœuvres, as they call them, they ought not to neglect domestic exer D 2 cifes, |