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it may produce in cooling your love towards him, or diverting it to another.
There is still another secret that can never fail, if you can once get it believed, and which is often practised by women of greater cunning than virtue. This is to change sides for a while with the jealous mah, and to turn his own passion upon himself; to take some occasion of growing jealous of him, and to follow the example he himself hath set you. This counterfeit jealousy will bring him a great deal of pleasure, if he thinks it real; for he knows experimentally how much love goes along with this passion, and will besides feel something like the satisfaction of revenge, in seeing you undergo all his own tortures. But this, indeed, is an artifice so difficult, and at the same time so disingenuous, that it ought never to be put in practice but by such as have skill enough to cover the deceit, and innocence to render it excusable. I shall conclude this essay with the story of Herod and Mariamne, as I have collected it out of Josephus;* which may serve almost as an example to whatever can be said on this subject.
all in flames for his Mariamne; but before their meeting, he was not a little alarmed at the report he had heard of his uncle's conversation and familiarity with her in his absence. This therefore was the first discourse he entertained her with, in which she found it no easy matter to quiet his suspicions. But at last he appeared so well satisfied of her innocence, that from reproaches and wranglings he fell to tears and embraces. Both of them wept very tenderly at their reconciliation, and Herod poured out his whole soul to her in the warmest protestations of love and constancy; when amidst all his sighs and languishings she asked him, Whether the private orders he left with his uncle Joseph were an instance of such an inflamed affection? The jealous king was immediately roused at so unexpected a question, and concluded his uncle must have been too familiar with her, before he could have discovered such a secret. In short, he put his uncle to death, and very difficultly prevailed upon himself to spare Mariamne.
After this he was forced on a second journey into Egypt, when he committed Mariamne had all the charms that beauty, his lady to the care of Sohemus, with the birth, wit, and youth could give a woman, same private orders he had before given and Herod all the love that such charms his uncle, if any mischief befel himself. In are able to raise in a warm and amorous the meanwhile Mariamne so won upon Sodisposition. In the midst of this his fond-hemus by her presents and obliging conness for Mariamne, he put her brother to versation, that she drew all the secret from death, as he did her father not many years him, with which Herod had intrusted him; after. The barbarity of the action was so that after his return, when he flew to represented to Mark Antony, who imme- her with all the transports of joy and love, diately summoned Herod into Egypt, to she received him coldly with sighs and answer for the crime that was there laid to tears, and all the marks of indifference and his charge. Herod attributed the summons aversion. This reception so stirred up his to Antony's desire of Mariamne, whom indignation, that he had certainly slain her therefore before his departure, he gave into with his own hands, had not he feared he the custody of his uncle Joseph, with pri- himself should have become the greatest vate orders to put her to death, if any such sufferer by it. It was not long after this, violence was offered to himself. This Jo- when he had another violent return of love seph was much delighted with Mariamne's upon him: Mariamne was therefore sent conversation, and endeavoured with all his for to him, whom he endeavoured to soften art and rhetoric, to set out the excess of and reconcile with all possible conjugal Herod's passion for her; but when he still caresses and endearments; but she declined found her cold and incredulous, he incon- his embraces, and answered all his fondsiderately told her, as a certain instance of ness with bitter invectives for the death of her lord's affection, the private orders he her father, and her brother. This behahad left behind him, which plainly showed, viour so incensed Herod, that he very according to Joseph's interpretation, that hardly refrained from striking her; when he could neither live nor die without her. in the heat of their quarrel there came in a This barbarous instance of a wild unrea-witness suborned by some of Mariamne's sonable passion quite put out, for a time, enemies, who accused her to the king of a those little remains of affection she still had design to poison him. Herod was now prefor her lord. Her thoughts were so wholly pared to hear any thing in her prejudice, taken up with the cruelty of his orders, and immediately ordered her servant to be that she could not consider the kindness stretched upon the rack; who in the extrethat produced them, and therefore repre-mity of his torture confessed, that his missented him in her imagination, rather under the frightful idea of a murderer than a lover.
Herod was at length acquitted and dismissed by Mark Antony, when his soul was
* Antiquities of the Jews, book xv. chap. 3. sect. 5, 6, 9; chap. 7. sect. 1, 2, &c.
tress's aversion to the king arose from something Sohemus had told her; but as for any design of poisoning, he utterly disowned the least knowledge of it. This confession quickly proved fatal to Sohemus, who now lay under the same suspicions and sentence that Joseph had before him, on the like occasion. Nor would Herod rest here; but
accused her with great vehemence of a de- | shape, or goodness of his understanding. I sign upon his life, and, by his authority with say the goodness of his understanding, for the judges, had her publicly condemned it is no less common to see men of sense and executed. Herod soon after her death commence coxcombs, than beautiful women grew melancholy and dejected, retiring become immodest. When this happens in from the public administration of affairs either, the favour we are naturally inclined into a solitary forest, and there abandoning to give to the good qualities they have from himself to all the black considerations, nature should abate in proportion. But which naturally arise from a passion made however just it is to measure the value of up of love, remorse, pity, and despair. He men by the application of their talents, and used to rave for his Mariamne, and to call not by the eminence of those qualities, abupon her in his distracted fits; and in all stracted from their use: I say, however just probability would soon have followed her, such a way of judging is, in all ages as well had not his thoughts been seasonably called as this, the contrary has prevailed upon the off from so sad an object by public storms, generality of mankind. How many lewd which at that time very nearly threatened devices have been preserved from one age to another, which had perished as soon as they were made, if painters and sculptors had been esteemed as much for the purpose, as the execution of their designs? Modest and well-governed imaginations have by this means lost the representation of ten thousand charming portraitures, filled with images of innate truth, generous zeal, courageous faith, and tender humanity; instead of which, satyrs, furies, and monsters, are recommended by those arts to a shame ful eternity.
No. 172.] Monday, September 17, 1711.
Non solum scientia, quæ est remota a justitia, calliditas potius quam sapientia est appellanda; verum etiam animus paratus ad periculum, si sua cupiditate, non utilitate communi, impellitur, audacia potius nomen habeat, quam fortitudinis
Plato apud Tull.
As knowledge, without justice, ought to be called cunning, rather than wisdom; so a mind prepared to meet danger, if excited by its own eagerness, and not the public good, deserves the name of audacity, rather than that of fortitude.
THERE can be no greater injury to human society than that good talents among men should be held honourable to those who are endowed with them, without any regard how they are applied. The gifts of nature and accomplishments of art are valuable but as they are exerted in the interests of virtue, or governed by the rules of honour. We ought to abstract our minds from the observation of any excellence in those we converse with, till we have taken some notice or received some good information of the disposition of their minds; otherwise the beauty of their persons, or the charms of their wit, may make us fond of those whom our reason and judgment will tell us we ought to abhor.
When we suffer ourselves to be thus carried away by mere beauty, or mere wit, Omniamante, with all her vice, will bear away as much of our good-will as the most innocent virgin, or discreet matron; and there cannot be a more abject slavery in this world, than to dote upon what we think we ought to condemn. Yet this must be our condition in all the parts of life, if we suffer ourselves to approve any thing but what tends to the promotion of what is good and honourable. If we would take true pains with ourselves to consider all things by the light of reason and justice, though a man were in the height of youth and amorous inclinations, he would look upon a coquette with the same contempt, or indifference, as he would upon a coxcomb. The wanton carriage in a woman would disappoint her of the admiration which she aims at; and the vain dress or discourse of a man would destroy the comeliness of his
The unjust application of laudable talents is tolerated in the general opinion of men, not only in such cases as are here mentioned, but also in matters which concern ordinary life. If a lawyer were to be esteemed only as he uses his parts in contending for justice, and were immediately despicable when he appeared in a cause which he could not but know was an unjust one, how honourable would his character be? And how honourable is it in such among us, who follow the profession no otherwise, than as labouring to protect the injured, to subdue the oppressor, to imprison the careless debtor, and do right to the painful artificer? But many of this excellent character are overlooked by the greater number; who affect covering a weak place in a client's title, diverting the course of an inquiry, or finding a skilful refuge to palliate a falsehood; yet it is still called eloquence in the latter, though thus unjustly employed: but resolution in an assassin is according to reason quite as laudable as knowledge and wisdom exercised in the defence of an ill cause.
Were the intention steadfastly considered, as the measure of approbation, all falsehood would soon be out of countenance; and an address in imposing upon mankind, would be as contemptible in one state of life as another. A couple of courtiers making professions of esteem, would make the same figure after breach of promise, as two knights of the post convicted of perjury. But conversation is fallen so low in point of morality, that, as they say in a bargain, let the buyer look to it; so in friendship he is the man in danger who is most apt to believe. He is the more likely to suffer in the commerce, who begins with the
obligation of being the more ready to enter a plate of six guineas' value, three heats, into it. by any horse, mare, or gelding, that hath But those men only are truly great, who not won above the value of 57. the winning place their ambition rather in acquiring to horse to be sold for 10l. to carry 10 stone themselves the conscience of worthy enter-weight, if 14 hands high; if above or under prises, than in the prospect of glory which to carry or be allowed weight for inches, attends them. These exalted spirits would and to be entered Friday the 15th, at the rather be secretly the authors of events Swan in Coleshill, before six in the evenwhich are serviceable to mankind, than, ing. Also a plate of less value to be run for without being such, to have the public fame by asses. The same day a gold ring to be of it. Where, therefore, an eminent merit grinned for by men. is robbed by artifice or detraction, it does but increase by such endeavours of its enemies. The impotent pains which are taken to sully it, or diffuse it among a crowd to the injury of a single person, will naturally produce the contrary effect; the fire will blaze out, and burn up all that attempt to smother what they cannot extinguish.
There is but one thing necessary to keep the possession of true glory, which is, to hear the opposers of it with patience, and preserve the virtue by which it was acquired. When a man is thoroughly persuaded that he ought neither to admire, wish for, or pursue any thing but what is exactly his duty, it is not in the power of seasons, persons, or accidents, to diminish his value. He only is a great man who can neglect the applause of the multitude, and enjoy himself independent of its favour. This is indeed an arduous task: but it should comfort a glorious spirit that it is the highest step to which human nature can arrive. Triumph, applause, acclamation, are dear to the mind of man; but it is still a more exquisite delight to say to yourself, you have done well, than to hear the whole human race pronounce you glorious, except you yourself can join with them in your own reflections. A mind thus equal and uniform, may be deserted by little fashionable admirers and followers, but will ever be had in reverence by souls like itself. The branches of the oak endure all the seasons of the year, though its leaves fall off in autumn; and these too will be restored with the returning spring.
The first of these diversions that is to be
exhibited by the 107. race-horses may probably have its use; but the two last, in which the asses and men are concerned, seem to me altogether extraordinary and unaccountable. Why they should keep running asses at Coleshill, or how making more than in any other parts of England, Í mouths turn to account in Warwickshire, cannot comprehend. I have looked over all the Olympic games, and do not find any thing in them like an ass-race, or a match at grinning. However it be, I am informed that several asses are now kept in bodyclothes, and sweated every morning upon the heath; and that all the country-fellows within ten miles of the Swan, grin an hour or two in their glasses every morning, in order to qualify themselves for the 9th of October. The prize which is proposed to be grinned for, has raised such an ambition among the common people of out-grinning one another, that many very discerning the faces in the county; and that a Warpersons are afraid it should spoil most of wickshire man will be known by his grin, as Roman Catholics imagine a Kentish man is by his tail. The gold ring which is made the prize of deformity, is just the reverse of the golden apple that was formerly made the prize of beauty, and should carry for its poesy the old motto inverted:
Or, to accommodate it to the capacity of the combatants,
The frightfull'st grinner
In the meanwhile I would advise a Dutch
No. 173.] Tuesday, September 18, 1711. painter to be present at this great contro
-Remove fera monstra, tuæque
IN a late paper I mentioned the project of an ingenious author for the erecting of several handicraft prizes to be contended for by our British artisans, and the influence they might have towards the improvement of our several manufactures. I have since that been very much surprised by the following advertisement, which I find in the Post-boy of the 11th instant, and again repeated in the Post-boy of the 15th. 'On the 9th of October next will be run for upon Coleshill-heath in Warwickshire,
versy of faces, in order to make a collection of the most remarkable grins that shall be there exhibited.
I must not here omit an account which I matches from a gentleman, who, upon lately received of one of these grinningreading the above-mentioned advertisement, entertained a coffee-house with the following narrative: Upon the taking of Namure, amidst other public rejoicings made on that occasion, there was a gold ring given by a whig justice of peace to be grinned for. The first competitor that entered the lists, was a black swarthy Frenchman, who accidentally passed that way, and being a man naturally of a withered look, and hard features, promised himself
good success. He was placed upon a table sion. I would nevertheless leave to the in the great point of view, and looking upon consideration of those who are the patrons the company, like Milton's Death,
'Grinn'd horribly a ghastly smile'
His muscles were so drawn together on each side of his face, that he showed twenty teeth at a grin, and put the country in some pain, lest a foreigner should carry away the honour of the day; but upon a further trial they found he was master only of the merry grin.
of this monstrous trial of skill, whether or
The next that mounted the table was a malecontent in those days, and a great master in the whole art of grinning, but particularly excelled in the angry grin. He did his part so well, that he is said to have made half a dozen women miscarry; but the justice being apprized by one who stood No. 174.] Wednesday, September 19, 1711. near him, that the fellow who grinned in his face was a Jacobite, and being unwilling Hæc memini et victum frustra contendere Thyrsin. that a disaffected person should win the Virg. Ecl. vii. 69. gold ring, and be looked upon as the best The whole debate in mem'ry I retain, grinner in the country, he ordered the oaths When Thyrsis argued warmly, but in vain.-P. to be tendered unto him upon his quitting THERE is scarce any thing more comthe table, which the grinner refusing he mon than animosities between parties that was set aside as an unqualified person. cannot subsist but by their agreement: this There were several other grotesque figures that presented themselves, which it would members of the human body in the old was well represented in the sedition of the be too tedious to describe. I must not how- Roman fable.* It is often the case of lesser ever omit a ploughman who lived in the confederate states against a superior power, farther part of the country, and being very which are hardly held together, though lucky in a pair of long lantern-jaws, wrung their unanimity is necessary for their comhis face into such a hideous grimace, that mon safety; and this is always the case of every feature of it appeared under a differ- the landed and trading interests of Great ent distortion. The whole company stood astonished at such a complicated grin, and were ready to assign the prize to him, had it not been proved by one of his antagonists, that he had practised with verjuice for some days before, and had a crab found upon him at the very time of grinning; upon which the best judges of grinning declared it as their opinion, that he was not to be looked upon as a fair grinner, and therefore or
dered him to be set aside as a cheat.
The prize it seems at length fell upon a cobbler, Giles Gorgon by name, who produced several new grins of his own invention, having been used to cut faces for many years together over his last. At the very first grin he cast every human feature out of his countenance, at the second he became the face of a spout, at the third a baboon, at the fourth a head of a bass-viol, and at the fifth a pair of nut-crackers. The whole assembly wondered at his accomplishments, and bestowed the ring on him unanimously; but, what he esteemed more than all the rest, a country wench, whom he had wooed in vain for above five years before, was so charmed with his grins, and the applauses which he received on all sides, that she married him the week following, and to this day wears the prize upon her finger, the cobbler having made use of it as his wedding ring.
This paper might perhaps seem very impertinent, if it grew serious in the conclu
Britain; the trader is fed by the product of the land, and the landed man cannot be clothed but by the skill of the trader: and yet those interests are ever jarring.
We had last winter an instance of this at our club, in Sir Roger de Coverley and Sir Andrew Freeport, between whom there is generally a constant, though friendly opposition of opinions. It happened that one of the company, in an historical discourse, was observing, that Carthaginian faith was a proverbial phrase to intimate breach of leagues. Sir Roger said it could hardly be otherwise: that the Carthaginians were the greatest traders in the world; and as gain is the chief end of such a people, they never pursue any other: the means to it are never regarded; they will, if it comes easily, get scruple to attain it by fraud, or cozenage: money honestly; but if not, they will not and indeed, what is the whole business of the trader's account, but to overreach him who trusts to his memory? But were not that so, what can there great and noble be expected from him whose attention is ever fixed upon balancing his books, and watching over his expences? And at best let frugality and parsimony be the virtues of the merchant, how much is his punctual dealing below a gentleman's charity to the poor, or hospitality among his neighbours? Captain Sentry observed Sir Andrew very
*Livii Hist. Dec. 1. Lib. ii. cap. ii.
reproach. For a man to be mistaken in the calculation of his expense, in his ability to answer future demands, or to be impertinently sanguine in putting his credit to too great adventure, are all instances of as much infamy, as with gayer nations to be failing in courage, or common honesty.
diligent in hearing Sir Roger, and had a mind to turn the discourse, by taking notice in general, from the highest to the lowest parts of human society, there was a secret, though unjust, way among men, of indulging the seeds of ill-nature and envy, by comparing their own state of life to that of another, and grudging the approach of their Numbers are so much the measure of neighbour to their own happiness; and on every thing that is valuable, that it is not the other side, he, who is the less at his ease, possible to demonstrate the success of any repines at the other, who he thinks has un-action, or the prudence of any undertak justly the advantage over him. Thus the ing, without them. I say this in answer civil and military lists look upon each other to what Sir Roger is pleased to say, "that with much ill-nature; the soldier repines little that is truly noble can be expected at the courtier's power, and the courtier from one who is ever poring on his cashrallies the soldier's honour; or, to come to book, or balancing his accounts." When I lower instances, the private men in the have my returns from abroad, I can tell to horse and foot of an army, the carmen and a shilling, by the help of numbers, the profit coachmen in the city streets, mutually look or loss by my adventure; but I ought also upon each other with ill-will, when they to be able to show that I had reason for are in competition for quarters, or the way making it, either from my own experience in their respective motions. or that of other people, or from a reason"It is very well, good captain,' inter- able presumption that my returns will be rupted Sir Andrew: you may attempt to sufficient to answer my expense and hazard; turn the discourse if you think fit; but I and this is never to be done without the must however have a word or two with Sir skill of numbers. For instance, if I am to Roger, who, I see, thinks he has paid me trade to Turkey, I ought beforehand to off, and been very severe upon the mer- know the demand of our manufactures chant. I shall not,' continued he, 'at this there, as well as of their silks in England, time remind Sir Roger of the great and and the customary prices that are given noble monuments of charity and public for both in each country. I ought to have spirit, which have been erected by mer- a clear knowledge of these matters beforechants since the reformation, but at present hand, that I may presume upon sufficient content myself with what he allows us, par- returns to answer the charge of the cargo simony and frugality. If it were consistent I have fitted out, the freight and assurance with the quality of so ancient a baronet as out and home, the customs to the queen, Sir Roger, to keep an account, or measure and the interest of my own money, and bethings by the most infallible way, that of sides all these expenses a reasonable profit numbers, he would prefer our parsimony to myself. Now what is there of scandal in to his hospitality. If to drink so many this skill? What has the merchant done, hogsheads is to be hospitable, we do not that he should be so little in the good graces contend for the fame of that virtue; but it of Sir Roger? He throws down no man's would be worth while to consider, whether inclosures, and tramples upon no man's so many artificers at work ten days together corn; he takes nothing from the industrious by my appointment, or so many peasants labourer; he pays the poor man for his made merry on Sir Roger's charge, are the work; he communicates his profit with men more obliged? I believe the families mankind; by the preparation of his cargo, of the artificers will thank me more than and the manufacture of his returns, he the household of the peasants shall Sir furnishes employment and subsistence to Roger. Sir Roger gives to his men, but I greater numbers than the richest nobleplace mine above the necessity or obliga- man; and even the nobleman is obliged to tion of my bounty. I am in very little pain him for finding out foreign markets for the for the Roman proverb upon the Carthagi- produce of his estate, and for making a nian traders; the Romans were their pro- great addition to his rents: and yet it is cerfessed enemies: I am only sorry no Cartha-tain that none of all these things could be ginian histories have come to our hands: done by him without the exercise of his we might have been taught perhaps by skill in numbers. them some proverbs against the Roman "This is the economy of the merchant, generosity, in fighting for, and bestowing and the conduct of the gentleman must be other people's goods. But since Sir Roger the same, unless by scorning to be the has taken occasion, from an old proverb, steward, he resolves the steward shall be to be out of humour with merchants, it the gentleman. The gentleman, no more should be no offence to offer one not quite than the merchant, is able, without the so old, in their defence. When a man hap- help of numbers, to account for the success pens to break in Holland, they say of him of any action, or the prudence of any adthat "he has not kept true accounts. ." This venture. If, for instance, the chase is his phrase, perhaps, among us, would appear whole adventure, his only returns must be a soft or humourous way of speaking, but the stag's horns in the great hall, and the with that exact nation it bears the highest fox's nose upon the stable door. Without