his feelings by a loud and sudden exclamation of 'Whew!' "The officiating priest looked quickly round, surprised at the interruption of the solemn service, but seeing nothing, proceeded. Mr. Hall still gazed at the picture, and once more, moved by the mighty thoughts within, cried, in a louder voice, Whew!' "Who's that?' said the astonished priest; and was instantly answered, ***I, George Hall, praising the Lord.' | He said one dollar and a half. I took the team and went, and when I came back, I paid him one dollar and a half, and he said he wanted another dollar and a half for coming back, and made me pay it.' "Dgave him some legal advice, which client immediately acted upon as follows: "He went to the stabler and said, 'How much will you charge me for a horse and wagon to go to Salem ?' "Stabler replied, 'Five dollars.' "Client went to Salem, came back by railroad, went to stabler, saying, 'Here is your money,' paying him five dollars. "Where is my horse and wagon?' says W"He is at Salem,' says client; 'I only hired him to go to Salem.' "This brought him to terms." A FRIEND in the city says: "At noon, one of the Cunard steamers going out fired the usual guns. "Many years ago, when Florida was still a Territory, justice was administered there by one Judge "Our office, which overlooks the North River, Douglas, more noted for his claiming descent from has been undergoing some repairs. For six whole the great Scot than for his judicial ability. On one days we had a brace of real Irishmen, who kept up occasion, when holding court at Tallahassee, a man a constant flow of the 'rich brogue,' unsuspicious by the name of Whiteman was arraigned for horse- of listeners. In that time they perpetrated a whole stealing. Mr. Wescott, afterward United States herd of regular Irish bulls, none, however, so readSenator, counsel for the prisoner, moved for the dis-ily taken by the horns as the following. charge of his client on account of the false spelling of Whiteman's name in the indictment. The Judge overruled the motion, remarking that general reputation as to a man's name is all that is necessary in an indictment for a criminal offense, and that the addition or omission of a letter makes no difference. "For instance,' illustrated the Judge, if you were arraigned before this court, Mr. Wescott, for murder, do you suppose because your name might happen to be spelled Waistcot, or Waistcoat, or Westcoot, instead of Wescott, you would escape punishment? No, Sir; you should be hung, Sir -you should be hung, Sir!' "This was an illustration but little relished by Wescott, who, in reply, admitted that, for all he knew, Whitman who was here indicted might have stolen the horse, as charged in the indictment; but it was unfair, he thought, to make his innocent client, Whiteman, suffer for Whitman's offense. 'As for the right of the community to make names by which men are to be known in law, or to change the orthography of a name, it can not be maintained,' said Wescott. For instance, your honor's name is Douglas, and I believe you are very careful about the orthography—D-o-u-g-l-n-s; yet, if the right of the community to alter names, or their orthography, be granted, I believe nine-tenths of the population of this Territory would come into court and swear that your honor's name should be spelled-D-o-u-g-l-ass.' "Mr. Clerk,' roared the irate Judge, 'enter a fine of fifty dollars against Mr. Wescott for contempt of court !'"' A VALUED correspondent, a lawyer, near Boston, always welcome, says: "A few days since, as I was sitting with Brother D, in his office in Court Square, a client came in, and said, 'Squire D, W, the stabler, shaved me dreadfully yesterday, and I want to come up with him.' "State your case,' says D"CLIENT. I asked him how much he would charge me for a horse and wagon to go to Dedham. "Do ye hear that, Larry?' "The goons do ye mane? certingly. What is it?' "Why, ov coorse, it's an arrival goin' out!'" MRS. MALTBANE, in New Haven, is troubled with the dyspepsia and has bad dreams. One morning at breakfast she was complaining sadly, and described her sensations to her sympathizing husband. "I was all the time climbing up, up, up hill; every little while I stopped to rest, and then up, up, up. Oh, I was so tired! The fact is, I had a real nightmare." "Then why, my dear," said the affectionate husband, "didn't you get on and ride?" "ANOTHER Philadelphia lawyer," after a very complimentary notice of the Drawer, which we have no doubt is a sound legal opinion, expresses his determination to "make a note" of the best things at the bar and send them to the Drawer. He makes a good beginning in giving us the following: "Rather a funny incident occurred at the Nisi Prius Court the other day, in a case which excited considerable public interest. Quite an 'array of talent' was presented on both sides, and, as the case progressed, counsel would occasionally (as counsel sometimes do) get rather warm, and snap each other up in a way that was quite edifying to the bystanders. "Mr. C, one of the 'big guns' of the defense, was cross-examining a witness in tremendous style, when, from some cause or other, Mr. R—, the junior counsel for the plaintiff, who was sitting immediately behind Mr. C, gave reluctant vent (it must have been reluctant) to a subdued sound, resembling that called in vulgar parlance a 'snicker.' "Mr. C turned sharply round, and fiercely demanded, "Mr. R, have you any objection to my examining this witness?' "Oh no, Sir, none at all, Sir,' was the prompt reply. Have you any objection to the questions I have asked this witness?' "No, Sir, certainly not.' | leaving the recitation-room, he saw Mr. K— crossing the yard; speaking in a low voice not to be heard at a distance, he called out, Mr. K! Mr. K! Roice has come!"" TOM PAINE Corresponded with a lady, and dated his letters from the Castle in the Air, while she ad "Have you any objection to the manner in dressed hers from the Little Corner of the World. which I have asked those questions?' "No, Sir; no, Sir; none whatever.' "Well, Sir,' continued Mr. C, with the air of one about to complete a sort of annihilation of the offending counsel, 'have you any objection to the tone in which I have asked those questions?' "Oh no, Sir, not at all,' responded Mr. R with a gracious bow; 'I've no doubt you're doing the best you can.' "Whereupon the by-standers laughed, of course, and Mr. C subsided, perceiving that he had carried his inquiries a little too far." The next is also of a professional stripe : "Some years since, a Mr. Smith, a member of our bar, was executing a commission for the examination of witnesses, and one of those called before him was an old, stiff-necked Quaker Conveyancer, whom I will call Wilkinson. The examinations were rather tedious, and Wilkinson, his patience (of which article, by-the-way, he had no great superabundance) being quite exhausted, rose to leave. His departure was strenuously objected to, but he said he didn't think the Commissioner had any right to detain him, and asked to see his authority; whereupon the urbane Mr. Smith read to him the commission issued from the court, authorizing him, in usual form, to take the depositions of ancient, infirm, or going witnesses' in the case of A B, rs. C D. Friend Wilkinson let the commissioner read the paper through, and then, with a perverse nasal drawl peculiar to him, replied: 'I don't think I can be called an ancient witness' (his age was about sixty), and I know I'm not an infirm witness; but,' said he, suiting the action to the word, 'I'm a going witness'-and he went." "A GOOD many years ago," writes a valued friend, "when Dr. D- was President of TCollege, and Prof. K one of its Professors, the Doctor inquired, one day, of the Professor as to the character of the class that was about to come under his instruction. The Professor spoke highly of them, but added, 'you will find in Roice a droll chap.' "The term commenced, and all went on well for several days, when the President meeting the Professor, observed, 666 "I see nothing peculiar in any of the class; I am much pleased with them.' "The short answer was, 'Perhaps Roice has not come.' 66 A day or two after, at the close of a forensic disputation, in the course of which severe strictures had been made on some of the laws of Connecticut, the Doctor took occasion to say, in deciding the question, I rejoice that that barbarous custom, whipping at the post, has been abolished in Connecticut,' when a member sitting just behind, interrupted him: "You are mistaken, Sir. It is not two months since I saw a man whipped at the whipping-post in this city, thirty lashes on his bare back.' "The Doctor, of course, stood corrected. On For reasons he knew not their intercourse was suddenly suspended, and for some time he believed his fair friend in obscurity and distress. He wrote the following to her; and it has been sent to us on an old sheet of smoked paper: FROM THE CASTLE IN THE AIR TO THE LITTLE CORNER OF THE WORLD. In the regions of clouds where the whirlwinds arise, The turrets reflected the blue of the skies, And the figures that fancy in clouds can create I had grottoes, and fountains, and orange-tree groves; I had all that enchantment has told; I had sweet shady walks for the gods and their loves; But a storm that I felt not had risen and rolled, It passed over rivers, and valleys, and groves— And often, full often, of you. At length it came over a beautiful scene That Nature in silence had made: And checkered with sunshine and shade. I gazed and I envied with painful good-will, Like a lark from the sky it came fluttering down, When whom should I meet in this charming retreat- I felt no more sorrow nor pain; A GAMBLING Judge is shown up by a friend of his: "Judge Dwas fond of card-playing, and occasionally indulged in the amusement. During the period he occupied a seat on the bench the Legislature of Georgia passed very stringent laws to prevent gambling, and made it imperative on the Judges to charge the Grand Juries, at the opening of each session of the court, to present all who were known as gamblers, etc. The Judge had conformed to the requirements of the law, but none were presented, and gambling seemed to flourish as it ever had. On an occasion when the Judge was on his circuit, and after his usual charge to the Grand Jury, and as usual no notice taken of the charge, Judge D ascertained there was a faro bank in successful operation in the very precincts of the court. The Judge thought he would indulge his propensity for play, and visited the bank. He played, and was very successful, as was his wont; he won all the money and broke up the establishment. After he had pocketed his winnings, and was about retiring, he perceived several of the Grand Jury in the room, who had likewise been engaged in the game. Judge D- observed to them, "Gentlemen of the Grand Jury, the law requires me to do all in my power to suppress the vice of gambling. I have charged the Grand Juries upon the subject time after time without any good effect. It was time for me to act, and see if I could not enforce the law. I have done so; and the most effectual way of doing it is to break the bank, which I have done to-night. I do not think these fellows will trouble the public for some time to come, and the law in me is vindicated. Gentlemen, I bid you good-night.'" "Did ye iver hear tell how Luke Malone kept his oath? Well, I'll tell yez. Luke was a shmit in the County Terry, and a very good shmit was Luke, an' a good man widal, barring the love of the liquor, but that overcome Luke intirely, till at last Fahder Flanagan tuk notice to it; and one day as he was ridin' by he got aff his horse and went into the foorge, an' what he said to Luke I niver rightly knew, but he must have giv' him the goin' over intirely; for, anyhow, Luke swore an oath to the Fahder that he would nivver take another drap of the critter, barrin' it was inside his own foorgedoor. Ye see Luke had a jug in the corner at the time, wid two or three jiggers in the bottom; so he got on well an' aisy for that day. But the next day came; not a dhrap in the jug, and the dhry upon Luke intirely; and the day passin' on, an' no naber drappin' in wid a comforter in his pocket, an' Luke growin' worse an' worse, till at last-what do you think he did, the spalpeen! but go out av de "BILLY O'NEALE was a well-known boarding-foorge, take de door av de foorge aff its hangins, house keeper, in his time, in Washington, with whom Randolph had frequently stopped. Billy was visiting in New York, where he happened to spy Randolph on the steps of a hotel; and supposing that Randolph would be glad to see him, went up to him and offered his hand, at the same time extending the usual compliments. "I don't know you,' said Randolph. "Billy was rather taken aback, but recovering himself, said, "What! you don't know me!' "No,' replied Randolph; 'I can't say that I ever saw you before.' an' away, wid de door of de foorge on the broad of his back, half a mile down de road to Judy Mehan's sheelin, an' he put de door of de foorge in door-way of de house, an' crep in under de door of de foorge into de sheelin, an' in less nor an hour he was dhroonk as a pig-de blaggard. An' dat's de way he kep his oath !' "The narrator had never heard of Samuel Lover, and had never read his novels, 'seein' he couldn't read.'" THIS story, that comes from an Eastern correspondent, deserves a cut illustrative. Picture a "Why, I am Billy O'Neale, boarding-house fat Yankee, over a dinner-table, eating corn after keeper in Washington.' Oh! that may be,' replied Randolph, in his Esual sarcastic tone. 'I may know you in Washington, but I don't know you in New York.'" THE late Rev. Dr. H, of New Jersey, was eccentric, but always genial and good-humored in his oddities. A friend sends two or three anecdotes that are very characteristic: "A dark, stormy night he was called away from home to marry a couple. He went reluctantly, performed the ceremony, and was leaving the house, when the groomsman handed him a two-dollar bill. The Doctor looked at it, saw the small amount, and returning it, told him to keep it till it grew bigger. It grew to an X in the course of a week." "Ar another time he was called to marry a female relative of his own to a gentleman in moderate circumstances. The fee, a twenty-dollar gold piece, he handed over to the bride as a present from himself. Soon afterward he performed the same service for another relative: her husband was rich, and gave the Doctor fifty dollars, supposing he should get the credit of a handsome fee and the Doctor would make a present to the bride. But he very quietly placed it in his pocket." THE correspondent who sends the following very amusing story, asks if it is not the thread on which Lover strung the pearls in his "Geography of an Irish Oath ?" "Some Irish road-contractors and others were spinning yarns around a blazing pine-wood fire, one frosty night, and had nearly run out of raw material, when a modest bog-trotter stepped out from a corner of the room, and asked, the fashion herein described, and you are ready to ask the pertinent question below. "The very respectable tavern kept by the late Lot Dean, in Hartford, Connecticut, was much frequented by dealers in horse-flesh, among whom one Pollard was a frequent guest, and a favorable representative of the trade. At one time, while at the dinner-table, a person seated opposite Pollard attracted the attention of all by the voracious manner in which his teeth cleaned the luscious hot corn from the cob. Ear after ear was taken from the plate, and made to travel across his broad face. No four-legged gourmand of the porcine tribe could have rivaled him. Among the rest, Pollard noticed him, laid down his knife and fork, stretched forward over the table, and, while the other guests were on tip-toe of expectation as to what was coming, abruptly interrogated our corn-eating friend with, Why don't you put your foot on it?'" A VERMONTER who was passing through Chicago last summer concluded to purchase a cheap lot, having been advised by his friends that he could not touch real estate in that town without making a profit. His means were limited, but he wanted" to invest." With this view he walked into Marshall's office, where the auctioneer was crying the "best kind of a bargain" with eloquence usual on such occasions. As our friend entered the door a well-known “West side” operator made his bid at two hundred and ten dollars, and there it stood until Vermont cleared his throat and modestly offered two hundred and twenty! Every body was astonished, and every body looked him over from head to foot; the bidder was indignant, buttoned his coat, and looked fierce. At this moment the operator, who seemed to be the only com petitor with Vermont, approached him, and inquired if he really wanted the lot? He replied that of course he did. The auctioneer cried, in his loudest tones, "Two hundred and twenty dollars!" The dealer in property was evidently in a sweat, and he hastily asked if Vermont would divide his purchase with him in case it was struck off to him? He wanted the whole or none. Things were getting desperate; and finally the Chicago man hastily offered to Vermont that, in case the lot was struck off at that bid, he would give him one thousand dollars for his bargain, or if he would not sell out at that figure, he should "go in" and try to bid it from him. Vermont accepted. In a moment the auctioneer cried "Gone!" the operator passed over his check for the thousand, which was pocketed instanter, but not before the unsophisticated but fortunate man discovered that his purchase amounted to forty-four thousand dollars, his bid being by the front foot, instead of the whole concern, as he supposed. Vermont took the first train toward the Green Mountains, and will never trust himself in an auction-room again. IN by-gone days there lived in one of the northern villages of South Carolina a Frenchman by the name of Balzell, who kept a candy shop and general doggery. The Frenchman was well-made and very athletic, but knew nothing of the rough-andtumble fights of the South and West. In the neighborhood lived a drinking, overbearing bully, who disturbed the peace of the country by always exciting and getting into fights, and who had never yet found his match in a fisticuff fight. This bully coming into the village on a certain occasion, the young men of the place put their heads together for the purpose of getting up a fight between Balzell and the countryman, partly for mischief, and hoping, on account of Balzell's great strength, that he would punish the countryman, who was not very popular. By making and carrying tales back and forth between the parties, they finally accomplished their end, and got them hitched in a fight. The countryman soon got Balzell down, and for a time thumped him severely. Balzell's friends, to encourage him, cried out continually "Hurrah, Balzell, hurrah! Balzell, give it to him! hit him hard!" but he did not pretend to act either on the offensive or defensive, but cried out louder than the loudest, "Hurrah! hurrah! hurrah!" Finding, after a time, that he got no help, and that it was altogether a one-sided game, he turned on the bully, and commenced pommeling him severely, who (being by this time out of wind) soon cried out "enough!" The moment he said "enough" Balzell jumped up, and cried out, “Enough, ha! by gar dat de ver word I try for say meself ven I say hurrah! Enough; I not forget dat vord no more, nevare so long as I live!" little German Jew, a peddler of ready-made clothing, who seemed to be very much impressed with the argument of the orator, and greedily swallowing every thing he uttered. This was too good an opportunity not to be made the most of. Looking the little peddler in the eye, he exclaimed, "Furriner, didn't you come to this country to escape from tyrannical, down-trodden, and oppressed Europe? Didn't you flee to these happy shores to live in a land of freedom where the great right of suffrage is guarantied to all? Didn't you, furriner ?' "He paused for a reply, when the little peddler squeaked out, No, Sur; I comes to dis countrie to sell sheap ready-made clothes.' "The astonishment of the orator, the shouts and roars of the multitude, can not be described. The speech was finished, and the orator quit the rostrum cursing all foreigners generally, and clothespeddlers in particular." "A FEW days before Christmas I took a 'threeyear old,' a distant relative, without having intimated to him what I was about, to a store and purchased a pair of boots for him, which were put upon him and he sent home. It was amusing to see and hear him. Every acquaintance he met he'd pull up his pants and See my new boots!' was his cry. It was with the utmost difficulty he could be persuaded to take them off when he was put to bed. "A week or two after he had the boots his mother observed him in a great study, when he woke up and said, "Mudder, when I die, will you give my boots away?' "Well, I suppose I'll have to give them to some little boy.' แ "Den, mudder, I'll die mid dem on.'" |