SOME FUNNY EPITAPHS. On an accomplished Parish Officer, at Crayford, Kent: Here lieth the body of (30 years Clerk of this parish). He lived respected as a pious and. mirthful man, and died on his way to church to assist at a wedding on the 31st day of March, 1811, aged 70 years. The inhabitants of Crayford have raised this stone. to his cheerful memory, and as a tribute to his long and faithful services. The life of this Clerk was just threescore and ten Nearly half of which time he had sung out Amen. In his youth he was married, like other young men, But his wife died one day, so he chanted Amen. His voice was deep Buss, and he sung out Amen. they ain't sacred. When aunt Kate came here last summer Pa said he had a white elefunt on his hands. I asked her where it was and she got mad an went home. My! but I remember now going to the barn with pa! It seems as if a boy couldent say what old folks say very well. Elefunts are big, and when I crawled under the tent to see one he rapped with his trunk. The door man said it was a judgment, but it seemed to me as if it was the elefunt, I can't write write any more. UBLISH YOUR OWN IT WILL BRING: SPIRITUAL GOOD.-By its monthly visits a Pastor can make known his wishes to every member of the church. By its regular visits those who are indifferent to the appointments of the church may be reminded of their obligations. SOCIAL GOOD. This plan of a church paper will enable the Pastor of any church to increase his power, enlarge his sphere of influence and adequately reach all classes of the community in which the church exists, and in which he prosecutes his ministry. FINANCIAL GOOD.-Beside the profit which may be derived from a subscription price which you my charge for your paper, the direct benefit resulting to a church having the enterprise to publish a paper devoted solely to its interests is beyond computation. THE HE PLAN is to furnish a neatly printed paper of magazine form, for your church each month, so cheaply as to be entirely within your reach! You to furnish copy for local matter. You can give your paper whatever name you choose, and your name will appear as editor, and your town as the place of publication. For full particulars, send stamp.■ CHURCH & SCHOOL PUB. CO., Detroit, Mich. THE ELEFUNT. Teacher said we must all write on the elefunt, and we musent ask our fokes what to say. There is two kinds of elefunts. White ones and dirty white ones. One you pray to an one you don't. Least weays FOR FULL PARTICULARS APPLY teacher said there was sacred ones, and them in the CHURCH AND SCHOOL PUBLISHING CO., circus aint that kind. I know, for they eat peanuts, and Miss Spears says its vulgar to eat peanuts. So DETROIT, MICH. THE EFFECTS OF COFFEE. Medical opinions on the dangers of the use of coffee have not been lacking. But as long as both men and women will insist on depending upon the stimulating effect to carry them through daily duties, it is not untimely to reiterate such admonitions as are contained in the following taken from "A Berlin physician has been investigating the effects of coffee on working people near Essen. Many of them consumed over a pound of coffee in a week; and some men drank considerably more, besides beer and wine. The leading symptoms were profound depression of spirits, and frequent headaches, with insomnia. Strong coffee would relieve this, but it would soon return, the muscles becoming weak and trembling, and the hands trembling when at rest. The heart's action was rapid and irregular, and dyspepsia was also present. The face became sallow, the hands and feet cold, and an expression of dread and agony settled over the countenance. Acute inflammations were liable to appear. Melancholy and hysteria were present in all cases. A recent advertisement contained the following: "If the gentleman who keeps the shoe shop with the read head will return the umbrella of a young lady with whalebone ribs and an iron handle to the slateroofed grocer's shop, he will hear of something to his advantage, as the same is the gift of a deceased mother now no more with the name engraved upon it."-Exchange. At a Scotch fair a farmer was trying to engage a lad to assist on the farm, but would not finish the bargain until he brought a character from the last place, so he said, "Run and get it, and meet me at - the cross at four o'clock." The youth was up to time, and the farmer said, "Well, have you got your character with you?" "Na," replied the youth, “but I've got yours, and I'm no' comin'." -Exchange. An absent-minded German professor was one day observed walking down the street with one foot continually in the gutter, the other on the pavement. A pupil, meeting him, saluted him with: "Good evening, Herr Professor. How are you?" "I was very well, I thought," answered the professor, "but now I don't know what's the matter with me. For the last half-hour I have been limping."--Selected. HAS THE BEST MAKES and FINEST SHOES at LOWEST PRICES. Call and See Him Before Purchasing. KRAUSE FULL LINE RUBBERS AND OVERSHOES COMPLETE. SAMUEL KRAUSE, 48 SOUTH MAIN STREET. to the barrel than flour made from winter wheat. It requires more moisture in mixing and the bread will keep sweet and moist for several days. Ask Your Grocers For It. 9 West Washington St. KOCH & HENNE, FURNITURE, SUBSCRIBE FOR Carpets, Oil Cloths THE COURIER, AND DRAPERIES. Ordered Work and Repairing a Specialty. UNDERTAKING PROMPTLY ATTENDED TO. Nos. 56 and 58 South Main St., ANN ARBOR, MICH. THE STUDENT'S BOOKSTORE, STATE STREET, Carry the Largest Stock of Books and Bibles of all kinds, and offer them at New York Prices. Ladies' Fine Stationery a Specialty. SHEEHAN & CO., Proprietors. Barber Shop--Hot or Cold Baths Call at the old stand over the Postoffice, which has changed hands, and has been renewed throughout. Call and see me, and I will guarantee satisfaction. Respectfully, JEROME FREEMAN. P. S-Ladies' Bath Rooms entirely separate from the barber shop. J AND GET HOME NEWS. ONE DOLLAR PER YEAR. Ferguson's Fine Carriages & Road Carts. WILLIAM ARNOLD, Brown's Drug Store is the best place to obtain Watchmaker & Jeweler, Anything in the Way of Druga 36 South Main St. O. M. MARTIN, 18 Washington St. Residence Cor. Fifth and Liberty Sts. TELEPHONE CONNECTION. UNDERTAKER. Calls Attended to Night or Day. We make this our special business. Call and see us before purchasing. THE DUNLAP, WILCOX HAT DEPARTMENT at When in need of anything in the Drug or Toilet Article line, try MEDICINES AND TOILET ARTICLES. VOORHEIS & DIETAS, Merchant + Tailors, STATE STREET And the Productions from other Popular Manufacturers of Hats are now Displayed IN THE -FOR Fine Shoes, A. L.NOBLE'S. Doty The New Drug Store, BICYCLES 46 State Street. THE WORLD-RENOWNED "WARWICK" Feiner PLEASE CALL -AT Bennett's -:- Bazaar Oldest and one of the most reliable laundries in FIRST-CLASS GOODS, Lowest prices, just the place to save money. Remember, 13 Ann Street. FINE PHOTOGRAPHS! All Styles and Sizes. Best work in the city Guaranteed at Reasonable AT KELLY'S. Michigan. Work called for and de- No. 4 Fourth St., East of Court House. J. A. POLHEMUS, LIVERY STABLE, The best and most extensive in te city. HACK and 'BUS LINE to ALL TRAINS. The only line running to night trains. Orders for parties, etc., a specialty. Particular attention to the traveling public. Cor. Main and Catherine Sts. HENRY NEUHOFF, -DEALER IN THE GRAND SEWING MACHINE Hardware, Guns, etc. Repairs of all kinds made on all Machines promptly. and at the Lowest Prices. General Machine and Job Work a specialty. No. 3 W. Washington St. Superintendent, C. M. Stark; Ass't. A. Tucker; Sec. and Treas., H. N. Shute, Ass't., Wm. Good year; Librarians, E. E. Mains, J. P. Bird; Chorister, J. R. Sage; Pianist, Miss Jennie Bird. SOCIETIES AND COMMITTEES. Com. on Membership and Discipline-Pastor, Deacons, S. S. Sup't, and Dr. Haskell. Fi ance Com.-Messrs. Beman, Snauble and Chute Com. on Sittings-Messrs. W. H..Dorrance, Sr.. Dodsl y and Goodyear. Com, on Music-The Trustees. Ushers Messrs. Suauble, Feit er, Chute, Dodsley, Goodyear an Dowdigan. Pres.; M s. Sollis, Sec Pres.: Mrs. Doig. Sec. 1. dies' Society-Mn The pastor will gladly receive at his home or afternoons and evenings usually devoted to call- home. A Sermon by Dr. Grenell. Special interest attached to the visit of the Rev. Dr. Grenell of Detroit, who addressed our congregation Sunday morning, Dec. 14, while the Ann Arbor pastor occupied the pulpit of First Baptist Church, Detroit, in exchange. Home Mission Day. We had the privilege on the second Sunday in November, of listening to the Rev. Dr. Jameson of Detroit, the recently appointed Sec Christmas Week. No. 1. We have the prospect of something pleasant for our Sunday school in the holidays. Mr. Tucker and Miss Georgie Goodrich are the committee on arrangements, and their names will guarantee the excellence of the program. We have had nothing in the way of a Christmas entertainment for two years, and this occasion will be the more enjoyable in consequence. Obituary. Saturday night, Dec. 14, 1890, at his home on Packard street, occurred the death of Mr. J. G. Johnson, after a sickness of many years. Mr. Johnson was a faithful soldier in the war for the Union, and incurred disabilities in the service which Ladis Foreign Mission Society - Mrs Carman, caused him to suffer the agonies of Ladies Home Mission Society- Mrs. Stevens,retary for the Home Mission Society death itself for many years. Yet he Nowland, Pres.; Mrs. in Ohio, W. Virginia and Michigan. expressed his willingness to endure Dr. Jameson made an excellent pre-it all again, if it should be necessary, sentation of the work in the form of for the sake of his country. a panoramic view of the field of operation. A good subscription was Second Sunday in September, subscriptions for made by the congregation following Goodyear, Sec. Young Peoples' Society-Pres., H. A. Macy. Temple Builders'-Miss Helen Woodin, Pres.; Miss Mona Tucker, Sec. SCHEDULE OF BENEVOLENT CONTRIBUTIONS. Second Sunday in June subscription for Min ister's Home, payable first Sunday in July. State Missions, payable first Sunday in October Second Sunday in January, subscription for Second Sunday in March, subscriptions for Ministerial Education, payable second Sunday in April. Last Sunday in each Month, collection for expenses of the Sunday School. PLAN OF FINANCE. A definite weekly or monthly contribution from every member. Pews not rented, but assigned to contributors by lot. A number of the best pews reserved for strangers and students. the sermon. Thanksgiving Social. One of the most delightful of the series of delightful socials held this year was one on Friday evening, of Thanksgiving week, at the pleasant home of Mrs. Ellis on South Main street, given by the Young People's Society. The attendance was large, and some pleasant entertainment was provided for each group of young Covenant Meeting-Wednesday evening preced-people. The abundant hospitality Ing first Sunday of each month. The Lord's Supper-First Sunday of each month Ladies' Missionary Society--Friday, 3:00 P. M. Trustees' Meeting - Following the Covenant Meeting. of Mrs. Ellis and the thoughtful prep- Mr. Johnson had a Christian hope in all his sickness, and would never complain nor suffer a word to be spoken in his presence which seemed to reflect a doubt of his God's goodness toward him. His widow, who is one of the members of our church, is left alone, after her years of remarkable patience and service. THEY mistake who suppose that the highest happiness lies in wishes. accomplished-in prosperity, wealth, favor and success. There has been a joy in dungeons and on racks passing the joy of harvest.-Mrs. Stowe. WE'RE only working by inches, any of us; like the camel's hair embroiderers in China. But it gets put together, and it is beautiful and large and whole somewhere.-Mrs. Whitney. B A THANKSGIVING. LESSINGS of friends, which to my door Of eager smiles at home. Yet, Lord, in memory's fondest place I would not miss one sigh or tear, Love tokens in Thy stead, Faint shadows of the spear-pierced side And thorn encompassed head.-Cardinal Newman. DR. JOSEPH PARKER ON THE PSALMS. THE 'HE whole Bible may be said to be condensed into the Book of Psalms. Everything is related in poetry. All the plainest and least poetical works are turned into music. The Book of Job is repeated in the Book of Psalms. In Job we find the concrete and the personal; the intensely dramatic and realistic; yet in the Psalms we find the same personalities represented, the same devil, the same upright souls, the same temptations, the same fears, and the same ultimate deliverance. Whether we read Job or the Psalms we are in reality reading the same book. This observation holds good even of the Book of Proverbs. The Psalter is set between Job and the Proverbs in our canon, and, account for it as we may, that would seem to be the best place for it. Nearly all the Proverbs are in some form in the Psalter. It seems to be the function and prerogative of poetry to take up all history, all proverbs, all moral maxims and all common-places of human intercourse, and То It was magnify and sublimate them into poetical expression. Can such singers be dead? Were they but so many songsters, like nightingales in the darkness, singing to human sorrow? And are they now dead, extinct, annihilated? It is impossible to believe this. such singers music was no mere enjoyment. an instrument by which they communicated Divine revelation to human listeners. It was the soul in its highest raptures. It was the intensest enjoyment which the human can hold with the Divine. Other music comes and goes, changing its fickle fashion without reason and without defence, but this solemn, glorious, booming music rolls on night and day through all the centuries of human evolution. The men who sang such songs must be living; their immortality cannot be limited to their music. Would we could live in this Psalter all the rest of our days! We need it in every word, and we need every word every hour. By various figures could our enjoyment be represented. We should be as men called to reap the largest harvest ever grown in the vineyards of earth. We should be as those privileged to hear spiritual music stealing down upon us from the hidden places of the sky. We should be as prodigals to whom the word of pardon and of love is being spoken in ever-varying tones, yet with such definiteness that the heart can never miss the sweet and healing message. In In the Psalms we need find no controversy. the music of the church all controversy should be hushed. When men lecture, or preach, or discourse in any form, they provoke more or less intellectual indignation on the part of those who listen to them; but, when the noble Psalm or sweet hymn is being sung, all controversy is silenced, and alienation is forgotten in true brotherhood. When we are puzzled, therefore, by other portions of Scripture, and are inclined to high debate, and even to furious contention, let us suspend the angry combat, and go into the Psalter, that we may find a music which will reconcile us and unite us in holiest love. Blessed be God for the Psalter. It seems to have been written in our mother tongue. It is a calendar which we can consult every day in the year, and for every day in the year find some bright motto, some gentle speech, some anticipative Gospel. CHOICE BITS. Patience and wisdom will wear out all which is not of God.-Geo. Fox. The unrest of this weary world is its unvoiced cry after God.-Munger. Make others to see Christ in you, moving, doing, speaking and thinking. Your actions will speak of Him, if He be in you.-Samuel Rutherfords. A pure heart at the end of life, and a lowly mission well accomplished, are better than to have filled a great place on the earth, and have a stained soul and a wrecked destiny.-J. R. Miller. If we were to write the history of a man's spiritual being, we would require to measure his prosperity and adversity by a purely immaterial standard; and it would inevitably happen that many things which, naturally speaking, could only be reckoned misfortunes, would, in the spiritual region, be regarded as the steps of promotion.-Matheson, |