21-F.-Ditto.

22-S. -Ditto. 23-S.

24-M--First of a series of lectures on Scandinavian literature, at the Mechanics' Institution, by Mr. William Rutledge, M.L.A.

25-T.-Sparrow shooting commences.

26-W.-Le Sieur Jean Thomas Smythe De Smithy, (founder of the illustrious family now represented by the ex-Mayor of Melbourne,) was slain at the battle of Hastings. 27-T.-The beau monde of Melbourne will go into mourning for a week, in memory of the melancholy event above referred to.

28-F.-Opening of the Crystal Palace at Lyndhurst by the Mayor of Brunswick.

29-S.-Grand entertainment to her Majesty (concluding with a concert and conversazione) given by the members of the Juvenile Traders' Association, at the Exhibition Building.

30-S.

aborigine, with just enough of English to swear by, or to curse in. would have called his opponent "an ass." and "a stupid ass." A newly elected candidate, bent upon exhibiting his ingratitude to the constituen y which had chosen him ;-determined to display his contempt for "the people' whose suffrages he had courted ;-and resolved, by the commission of one rash act, to destroy for ever his prospects of re-election, would have stigmatised his supporters as "drunkards," and the voters of the district as a "despicable and paltry faction." But you, my dear David, acted as every one knew you would act. under the circumstances; and your language and gestures were in beautiful and perfect harmony with the tone and language of the paper you assist to edit, and with the temperance you have publicly endeavoured to inculcate. For is it not patent to all men that the journal I refer to is conspicuous for its abstinence from recrimination, invective, and abuse? Does it not stand alone in its honourable immunity from the imputation of having given currency to malignant slanders and mendacious accusations? What paper so exempt from the charge of pandering to the popular passion of the hour,-of degrading political controversy by the importation of the coarsest personalities,-of combining, in its malicious attacks upon all who differed from it, the ruffianism of the prize fighter, with the vulgar insolence of the fish-fag, and the callous insensibility t› shame of the withered demi-rep? The chivalrous courtesy, the magnanimous generosity, the self-sacrificing patriotism, the ingenuousness, modesty, consistency, and incorruptibility of its conductors,-have not these passed into a proverb? Can it be said of you and of your colleague that you have gone to the Lunatic Asylum for your logicto the cess-pool for your similes and to the shambles for your invective? No, my dear David; your political opponents have felt it to be an honor to shiver a lance with journalists who unite so much angelic sweetness of temper with the high-souled courage of Paladins,who sustain defeat with such admirable equanimity, and comport themselves with such a gracious humility in the hour of triumph,-who elevate the profession to which they belong, and confer an honor on the cause they serve.

Hence, my dear David, when I heard that you had been bantered on the hustings, I was prepared to hear, also, that you had silenced the banterer by a gentle and dignified rebuke; albeit the gentleness of your rejoinder has oppressed me with an uneasy fear that the quiet and unassuming virtues of your character will be unrecognised or under

MY DEAR DAVID,I have read- -as who has not ?--the report which has appeared in various papers, of certain proceedings at Taradale, on the occasion of the declaration of the poll for Talbot; and in the fulness of my heart I sit down to address you thereanent. Ah! my dear David, you are too good for this world; too full of the milk of human kindness; too meek. submissive, long-suffering, gentle, temperate, and unresenting. The turmoil of the hustings, and the conflicts of journalism, are alien to a nature like yours. What should the dove do among vultures? What the yearling lamb amidst a pack of wolves? What the spleenless and tender-hearted Blair among the irascible Lees of Taradale.

What an august spectacle was that which you presented to the electors of Taradale on the memorable 20th of October! You were solemnly relinquishing the sacerdotal for the legislative functions laying aside the garments of the flamen, and putting on the robes of the senator;-the preacher of the gospel had become the giver of the law, and the sanctity of the old office served to consecrate the responsibilities of the new. You felt that it did so, did you not? and the feeling influenced your words and conduct. Therefore, when a Mr. Belton Lee audaciously and irreverently compared you to a hack (plagiarizing the equine metaphor you had made use of at the nomination), what was your rejoinder, my dear David ?

Regarding the speaker with an eye of pity, and addressing him in tones of earnest and persuasive kindness, you mildly reproved him for his fault, in the spirit of a christian, the language of a friend, and the manner of a gentleman. And thereupon Mr. Belton Lee shrank back abashed, chop-fallen, and discomfitted, some of the spectators were moved to tears--briny water-courses tracing clean channels upon grimy cheeks; and all the bystauders gave poignancy to the rebuke by the vehemence and tension of their applause.

Now, a brainless brawling demagogue, -an illiterate and vulgar stump orator, a rude undisciplined semi-savage, destitute of selfrespect and self-control,-a ranting, roaring, raving rowdy,-a tipsy

temperate, and sooth of speech than yourself. And I put it to you whether it would not be expedient now. or at any early date hereafter, to exhibit to the world another of those Christain virtues which you possess in such rare perfection, and crown them all by ---Resignation. Ever yours, My dear David,

MELBOURNE PUNCH.

SONNET TO CHLOE.

What cruel fortune brought thee to such grief?
Unhappy Chloe! thou world-famous wreck !
That vainly seekest now to find relief

In Lethean draughts, and sorrow's course to check. Was it of sinful man the subtle wile?

Or unrequited love that broke thy heart? Did some one show how he could smile and smile, Yet be a villain-come, the cause impart. Art thou too full to speak, what, silent still, Thou wilt not tell what brought thee to this pass? Afflicted lady, be it as ye will,

Like all your sex-still gaze into your glass; Tradition long shall keep your name renowned, For who "as drunk as Chloe" can be found?

E stands for two learned faculties-'cause
Embling's doctor of medicine-and Evans of laws.

F stands for Fawkner, for Fellowes, and Fyfe
And Foster, who loves crooked ways more than life.

G stands for Goodman. Grant, Griffiths, and Greeves-
And Guthridge; and nobody else I believes.

[twenty.

H for a host of 'em, Hodgson, Hood, Henty,
Harker, Horne, Humffray, Haines, Hope, and others, near

I remains unrepresented, but yet

Will not be forgotten one safely may bet.

J stands for Johnson, who sits for Kilmore;
And rumour pronounces a horrible bore.
K is for Keogh, and King the corn stalk.

And Kennedy-who, alas, English can't talk.
L stands for Lalor, who kept the Stockade,

But now has gone into the Government trade.
M stands for Miller, Moore, Michie, and Myles-
To think of the last one my dander it riles.
N is for Nobody holding a seat

Where a good many nobodies more one may meet.

O for O'Shanassy, Owens, O'Brien

The return of the last was a scandal most cryin'.

P is for Phelan-a moighty orator

From the gim of the say, where they grows the purtator.

Q Stands for no single member. No fear

However that plenty won't prove very Queer.

R for Rutherford. Roope, Read, and Rutledge-old BillyWho's hot-tempered, wealthy, well-meaning, and silly.

S for Strachan, Snodgrass, Stewart, and Sargood, and Syme,
And Stawell and Smith-to choose whom was a crime.

T stands for Thompson, and that great unknown-
Dr. Tierney-whom therefore I here let alone.

U represents Urquhart, a man that in sooth
I've often heard praised as a lover of truth.

V is for Vaughan, who, assisted by Wild,
Some very odd interest tables compiled.

W the initial of Williams, Wills, Were,

The last sells whom he can, and the first bottled beer.

X and Y are the quantities unknown but small
Of the wisdom and honesty shared among all:
While the smallest of Z's to be found we may feel
Convinced will suffice to express all their zeal.

AUSTRALIAN PARLIAMENTARY COMPANION.

We have seen the proof sheets of this valuable little book, which conveys all the information usual in such works, in words of not more than two syllables. To several of the Members it will thus be rendered truly valuable. The most interesting part of the work, however, is that devoted to the instruction of members whose early education has been neglected, and for whose benefit the following Members' Alphabets has been prepared :

A stands for Allen who made so much tin,
By being rewarded for being let in,

B stands for Bennett, for Brooke, and for Blair,

And another whose name to pronounce I don't care.

C stands for Clarke so disgustingly rich,

And Childers, and Campbell. and Cowie, and sitch."

D for Davis from Gipps Land, and Duffy the poet,
Who when asked to resign, replied, "Not if I know it."

THE MELBOURNE GARRICK CLUB.

PUNCH is informed that in consequence of the immense sensation produced by the performances on Tuesday evening last, Mr. Coppin has effected an engagement, on their own terms, with the whole of the acting members, and the farces played on that occasion will be repeated every night in the ensuing week, and in fact until further notice Punch is happy to add that the whole of the fifteen ladies who were removed from the dress circle, under the influence of powerful fits of hysterics, brought on by immoderate laughter, were announced to have recovered last evening.

CIDER AND PERRY.

The Synod, 'tis said, should have added a rider
To their verdict on Brough-that 'twas very
Improper in him to be sharper than cider,
Who should have been sweeter than Perry.