One Captain H. Butler Stoney, of the 99th Regiment, has written a book (published by Smith, Elder & Co., of London,) entitled, "A Residence in Tasmania," and in this book is to be found one of the most atrocious libels ever penned. When PUNCH mentions that it is Mr. W. J. T. Clarke who is maligned by this stony-hearted Captain every Victorian's "fell of hair" will stand on end, and a thrill of hor ror will electrify the whole community. But let the infamous traducer speak for himself. Hear him : "On the right, after you pass these (the New Town Park, and Race Course, Laun ceston), is the residence of probably the largest landed proprietor in the world, Mr. W. J. T. Clarke. Strange to say. the house at which he principally re sides, is not to be compared to the cottage of the farmer renting his 100 acres ; nor is his household or establishment in better style,-accumulation being his only idea. This is fully borne out by his general character and appearance. Such men are the ruin of an infant colony, and the sooner they leave, and their rich lands become divided amongst more useful men, the better. His character perfectly reminds us of Dr. Watts' lines : Proudly poising what he weighs, He swells amidst his wealthy store In his own scale he fondly lays Huge heaps of shining ore Let a broad stream, with golden sands, Residence in Tas edition (if a second edition is ever published), of a mania," Captain H. Butler Stoney will expunge the libellous passages and still more libellous quotation and substitute the following veracious eulogy from the pen of Mr. Punch himself: In On the right is the residence of Mr. W. J. T. Clarke, probably one of the largest landed proprietors in the world. As might be supposed, the mansion is commensurate in magnitude with the possessions of its princely owner. Here he dispenses those magnificent hospitalities which have made his name so celebrated. the various saloons of his mansion are assembled some of the choicest works of art that taste could select or wealth could purchase. Naturally of refined tastes he has improved them by constant intercourse with men of talent and learning, with whom he delights to surround himself. Patriotism and philanthropy are the dominant ideas of his mind. His general character and appearance are those of a man upon whose mind and countenance nature has set the indelible impress of true nobility. To succour struggling genius to assist the industrious and deserving; to advance the prosperity and greatness of the country 'in which he has arisen to affluence; to take the lead in every enterprise that promises to be of advantage to the land of his adoption; and to open his purse to the calls of benevolence or patriotism ;-these constitute the occupation, and the happiness of his life. His disinterestedness is as remarkable as the extent of his possessions; and the statue erected in his honor by the miners of Sulky Gully is a lasting t stimonial to his worth, and a gracefully conceived expression of their gratitude. Such men as Mr. W. J. T. Clarke are a blessing to an infant colony; and vast wealth in their hands, is an agent of incalculable beneficence. In fine, his character forcibly reminds us of the lines of Dryden :"You hoard not wealth, for your own private use; (Pp. 184-5.) W. J. T. Clarke here is a piece of cold-blooded and malignant insolence for you! A wretch ! W. J. T. Clarke the wearer of a narrow soul.!" W. J. T. Clarke "a man of one idea, and that idea "accumulation!" W. J. T. Clarke inflictor of "ruin" upon "an infant colony!" PUNCH hopes that the hand which penned these monstrous calumnies upon a public benefactor, was not paralysed in consequence; and that in the second the But on the public spend the rich produce. When, often urged, unwilling to be great, Your country calls you from your loved retreat, And sends to senates, charged with common care, Which none more shuns, and none can better bear. Where could they find another form'd so fit, MELBOURNE PUNCH'S PARLIAMENTARY DIARY. DECEMBER 80. LEGISLATIVE COUNCIL.-The Council resumed their sittings to-day, being, we trust, all the better for the variety in the manner of doing nothing which they have enjoyed during the Christmas holidays. Mr. Mitchell laid on the table a message from His Excellency Sir Henry Barkly, announcing his assumption of the Government of the colony. This piece of assumption on His Excellency's part seemed to give general satisfaction, and a committee was appointed to draw up a congratulatory address, which was speedily prepared and adopted. A petition was presented from Mr. Wm. Highett, alleging that Mr. Kaye was disqualified, and not a proper person to sit in the House. The petition was referred to the Qualification Committee. (N.B.-If the committee like to call upon Mr. PUNCH there is a little bit of evidence that he can give concerning Mr. Kaye.) Mr. Fawkner gave notice that on the ensuing day he would ask the Government whether it was true that they were under a pledge to spend £42,000 on public works in Richmond, Mr. G. S. Evans, M.L.A., having boasted, at a public meeting, of having, in conjunction with Mr. D. S. Campbell, "pinned down" the Government to undertake that expenditure. A fresh example of official promptitude was afforded by Mr. Mitchell, who laid upon the table a copy of the census of 1854. Mr. Hood withdrew his motion for leave to bring in a bill to give remuneration to witnesses in actions. It seems that he had acted upon the advice of a legal gentleman, who had only recently discovered that the object contemplated was provided for by law already. Mr. Tommy M'Combie moved the second reading of the "Party Fences Bill," whereupon a good deal of fencing took place between several "parties," as to whether the bill should be read a second time or not. It was argued that owners of land ought to be properly The petitions against Messrs. Syme and Owens then came under discussion. It seems that though these petitions had been left at the Speaker's office within the time prescribed by the Act, they had not reached him till two days afterwards. Mr. Grant would not grant that in this case the petitions had been "presented" in time; and as hon. members seemed in doubt upon this point, it was resolved, by way of doing something, to read the petition against Mr. Syme which was read by the Clerk at the table accordingly. The gist of the objections to Mr. Syme lay in allegations to the effect that he was an insolvent "secularian" minister, who had no bona fide property qualification, and had got a colourable one too late to be of any use, if it had been genuine. Mr. Childers rubbed his "fatal forefinger" up and down an Act of Council for some time, by way of elucidating the matter, but no great things came of the friction after all. Mr. Aspinall complimented Mr. Comer (the petitioner), upon the zeal he had cxhibited in Bank-place for the purification of Parliament in general and of the representation of the Loddon in particular, but seemed to think that he would have done better to begin the process of purification on the other side of the House. If Mr. Comer was so zealous too, he might have been zealous enough to send in his petitions before the last moment when it was too late to fire off counter petitions against the other side. The House laughed at Mr. Aspinall's humour and at his argument, and referred the petitions to the qualification committee. The division 'on the subject gave-for reference, 26; against. 10. On the motion of Mr. Dufiy, however, it was agreed that it should be an instruction to the qualification commitee only to take into account the question whether Mr. Syme had or had not the qualification, and never to mind about the secularianism and the rest of it. The election petitions constituted the main business before the House to-day. No sooner had the petitions against Messrs. Syme and Owens been disposed of than that against Mr. Blair came upon the tapis. The Speaker announced that he had received a letter from Mr. H. N. Simson, withdrawing his petition against Mr. Blair. Mr. Goodman presented a petition from Mr. Duncan Longden, praying to be admitted a party to the petition against Mr. Blair; and moved that Mr. Longden's petition should be received. Mr. Aspinall vigorously resisted the motion, contending that if Mr. Longden put in a petition he should put in a hundred pounds too for expenses, as Mr. Simson, no doubt, wanted his hundred pounds back again. As usual, the House deemed Mr. Aspinal's fun unexceptionable but his arguments inadmissible, and the petition was, after a good deal of discussion, received--21 voting for the reception and 19 against it. In the mean time, an answer was sent to the person outside who had brought the message from the Upper House, to the effect that the Assembly preferred addressing Sir Henry Barkly on their own hook. An address was subsequently agreed to, having a striking family likeness to that prepared by the Conncil. A good deal of time was frittered away over unimportant business, and the House adjourned for a week. DECEMBER 31. LEGISLATIVE COUNCIL.-Mr. Mitchell detailed his experience as a waiter and a messenger, and complained that the members of the Lower House were very slow in giving their orders. He objected to remaining so long behind the bar; and Mr. Allan gave notice of his intention to stop the license of the Assembly. Mr. M'Combie moved the appointment of a select committee, to consider the allegations contained in the petition of Dr. Lang, THE JACKDAW IN STOLEN PLUMES. A committee of citizens has been formed for the purpose of investigating the condition of our penal establishments, and this committee has for its honorary secretary a Mr. William Schultz, who, if literary larceny were punishable by law, would richly deserve to obtain some personal experience of the alleged "horrors" of penal discipline. This bare-faced pilferer of other men's ideas and words winds up a report addressed to the citizens of Melbourne, and bearing his signature, with a peroration stolen from the eulogium pronounced upon Howard the philanthropist, by the great Edmund Burke. PUNCH prints the language uttered by the orator and statesman, side by side with the passage so audaciously claimed by this larcenous Schultz as his own ; and PUNCH hopes that this public exposure of a detected literary thief will operate as a warning to authors (dramatic and otherwise) to "keep their hands from picking and stealing." EDMUND BURKE, "He (John Howard) has invited all Europe--not to survey the sumptuousness of palaces, or the stateliness of temples; not to make accurate measurements of the remains of ancient grandeur; nor to form a scale of the curiosity of modern art; not to collect medals or collate manuscripts; but to dive into the depths of dungeons, to plunge into the infection of hospitals, to survey the mansions of sorrow and pain, to take the gauge and dimensions of misery, depression, and contempt; to remember the forgotten, to attend to the neglected, to visit the forsaken, and to compare and collate the distresses of men in all countries. Already the benefit of his labour is felt more or less in every country; I hope he will anticipate his final reward by seeing all its effects fully realised in his own. He has so forestalled and monopolised this branch of charity that there will be, I trust, little room to merit by such acts of benevolence hereafter." WILLIAM SCHULTZ. "Your Committee fully know that the subject of penal discipline among the stirring objects of care or amusement which surround you, is divested of all the recommendations accompanying pursuits which are attractive to the interests or the imagination of men. They come before you with no railway plans, no surveys of sumptuous or stately edifices, no accurate measurements of grandeur to be attempted; no scale for the curiosities of art; with no medals collected; with no manuscripts collated; but they ask you to dive into the depths of dungeons; to plunge into the infections of hospitals; to survey the mansions of sorrow and pain; to take the gauge and dimensions of misery, depression, and contempt; to remember the forgotten, to attend to the neglected, to visit the forsaken, and to compare the distresses of mankind. And if the benefit of your labours can be felt now, you will, while their effects are realised, anticipate your final reward. You will forestall and monopolise a branch of charity which will leave, they hope, little room for such acts of benevolence hereafter." Mr. Schultz's sympathy for felons must be great indeed, since it has led him to imitate their larcenous propensities. It was a sufficiently criminal act to steal the child of Burke's brain, but the thief has added ignominy to injury, by marring the features and mutilating the beauty of the stolen child. The next time you lay felonious hands on the property of others, Mr. Schultz, and more especially the property of a man like Burke, in Heaven's name do not attempt to disfigure and distort that which was originally beautiful and perfect. COMMERCIAL.-The Bank of Victoria is reported to have cleared nearly thirteen pence half-penny, up to this date, by remaining open on Saturday afternoon. ADVICE TO PRINTERS. Be very careful of your type, and when you have done with it, take each letter separately, and put it away in a case. AN ACTOR HIS OWN CRITIC. CRITICISM is becoming a perilous employment. It is forbidden to call a spade a spade, and a stick a stick, especially if the stick form part of the properties of a theatre. An interdict has been laid upon the theatrical critic, unless he tem. pers his ink with honey instead of gall-nuts, and kneels in adoration where, in virtue of his office, he should sit in judgment. And the public-the patient, paying patron of the "poor player" must also be the player's panegyrist, placable, propitious, and prodigal of plaudits; otherwise the actor who condescends to amuse (and to receive the money of) a quantity of barren spectators," will rebuke them for their apathy or theircensure, constitute himself the critic of his own performance, and declare his intention of "taking five pounds worth (whatever that expression may mean) out of" those who venture to dissent from his own estimate of his own transcendent merits. A Mr. M'Kean Buchanan-a theatrical star who twinkled somewhat feebly and fitfully in the firmameut of Melbourne, has been shedding his radiance upon the frequenters of the Criterion Theatre at Sandhurst. He appeared as Gloucester, in "Richard the Third," on Saturday night; and if he made the character as funny as he is said to have done at the Theatre Royal in tbis city, it must have been excessively amusing to the audience. That it was so, may be inferred from the following notice in the Bendigo Advertiser ; "The text was departed from in a most ad libitum manner, and a few of the necessary scenic concomitants were coolly dispensed with. For instance, when the funeral of King Henry the Sixth is passing, or rather supposed to be passing, and when the officer exclaims, 'Stand back, my lord, and let the coffin pass,' we looked in vain for the coffin and the procession, but it was only supposed to be there, and the effect of the whole scene was spoiled. In the tent scene before the battle of Bosworth, the ghosts of Richard's murdered victims did not show, but murmured their warnings behind the scenes-in fact, the omissions, mistakes, and absurdities were so many and so various that we are much inclined to believe the management intended to give us a King Henry was played by Mr. taste of Shakspere travestied." Mr. Faucett Douglas, and we were very glad when he was killed. Richmond's army was reprewas both Buckingham and Richmond. sented by a man with a loud voice and bandy legs, who carried a forThe crook-backed midable-looking battle-axe, well black leaded. tyrant was enacted by Mr. M'Kean Buchanan, and certainly not with success." sure. The audience thought so, it seems, and certain of them hissed! "" actor who had -audaciously and profanely hissed the "great" travelled all the way from the United States to prove "How much a stick that has been sent to roam Excels a stick that has been kept at home!" But the good humour of the audience got the better of their displeaThe countenance of the severest critic must have relaxed in the presence of that terrible army, which was typified by "a man with a loud voice and bandy legs, who carried a formidable-looking And accordingly they forgave Mr. battle-axe, well black-leaded." M'Kean Buchanan his bad acting, in consideration of the droll aspect exhibited by the army of his opponent. They reanimated the body of the slain monarch, and called him before the curtain; whereupon, mindful of the sibillations he had received, the indignant tragedian thus expressed himself : : "Ladies and gentlemen, I come before you at the wish of a majority of the audience, and beg to say that I am obliged to them for the compliment. I am aware that three or four dissipated persons come here for the purpose of annoying me and hissing me, as they did last night, when I did my best to amuse the audience, and 1 am sure never played better in my life. I would willingly give £5 if I could discover the man that did hiss me, and I would take the £5 out of him! I am a plain and blunt American. I never played better than I played last night, and I say again I would give £5 to find the man that hissed me." The Advertiser goes on to remark that the audience appeared to be "rather taken aback" by this harangue. PUNCH should rather think they were. The next thing he expects to hear of is the verbal delivery of a challenge from the actor who is hissed, to the spectator who hisses, and a prompt settlement of their differences by a pugilistic encounter in the orchestra, or a "terrific combat of two" (if the duello should be preferred) immediately before the footlights. People will measure the bulk and height and estimate the fighting capabilities of actors before they venture upon the utterance of the faintest sibillation; and the weakest performers are likely to receive the most disapprobation, if their demerits are as palpable as those of the American star. The patrons of the drama will be exempted, moreover, from the exercise of their own judgment in regard to the performance they have witnessed: for will not the actors themselves, in accordance with the example set them by Mr. Buchanan, pronounce a decisive opinion upon their own acting? And who so competent to judge? What critics so acute, discriminating, impartial, and infallible? "I never played better than I played last night" was the emphatic declaration of the player who had been hissed; and who shall doubt, demur to, or dispute it? Let it be henceforth understood that to admire if not to applaud, is the bounden duty of every individual who pays for admission to a theatre; that there is no such thing as bad acting on any stage; that a performer is the best judge of his own performances; and that any one rashly presuming to express disapprobation thereat, renders himself liable to the mysterious punishment of "having five pounds taken out of him," whether according to the manner proposed by Shylock, or otherwise, PUNCH is unable to determine. REVIEW. THE VOYAGE OUT. A Poem, by George Edward Gaskell, Melbourne: The "coming man" is come, He and his book are both "out." Ten cantos enveloped in appropriate green-the laurel's hue-testify that a great poet is among us. Heralded by no flourish of trumpets, unknown, unnoticed, and unannounced, the bard who sings "The Voyage Out," has landed upon our shores, tuned and twanged his lyre, and must henceforth occupy a place upon the topmost peak of the Australian Parnassus, which PUNCH takes to be the highest of the You Yangs. Mr. Gaskell has modelled his style and versification upon those of the noble author of Don Juan; but like all great, geniuses, he has improved upon the original. If the reader will take the trouble to compare one of Lord Byron's stanzas descriptive of sea-sickness with one of Mr. Gaskell's upon the same subject, the superiority of the latter to the former will be immediately apparent : Soon shall heaven kiss earth-(here he fell sicker) But really you'll excuse me, DON JUAN, Canto 2] For I begin to feel a queer sensation, Of writing poetry; for while one-he Can scarcely decently make the narration THE VOYAGE OUT, Canto 5. Mr. Gaskell's last hours in England, his future biographer will feel an interest in knowing, were spent at Gravesend, where, in imitation of Lord Byron at Harrow, he reposed for some hours upon a lofty tomb," from whence he obtained a view of the "silver river," as he The craft lying felicitously designates the pure and pellucid Thames. 178 in the river supply an interesting subject of speculation to his reflectivR mind: Among that crowd of ships I strive to guess Of tangled masts, although I must confess (So mused I idly) I am very fain To fancy yonder tidy vessel's she; But in the morning light we shall more plainly see. It is satisfactory to add, that on the following morning, an obliging boatman assisted Mr. Gaskell in discovering the "tidy vessel;" on being rowed to which, he hints at the existence of a poetical similitude between the wherries on the river and "foppish flies " upon a " pewter platter." Not, he goes on to observe Not that with dull far fetched comparisons, Like that I've tried in the last verse to shove, Observe the discretion displayed by Mr. Gaskell in avoiding all allu sion to the "duns," until he was safely on board the vessel; and the novelty, beauty, and originality of the metaphor employed in the following stanza :— It being now two dozen hours since I came aboard; perhaps. 'twill be as well Would any but a master-mind "Rinsing his memory with ink" ! have given birth to such a thought as that? In the fourth Canto or Part, Mr. Gaskell gives us a taste of his powers as a descriptive writer : I thought (he says) I'd better see My berth, and what arrangements had been made for me. My bunk I had engaged before the ship Had left the docks; and all my outfit too, Of such things as I'd need of to equip For the long voyage that I had in view (Blankets, and sheets, and shirts, some pounds of "dip" Was stowed within the berth at least ten days ago. The grammatical construction of the last line is slightly defective. but we cannot expect genius to encumber itself with the trammels of jams syntax. Playfully as the muse of Mr. Gaskell discourses of " and "blankets," she can "ascend the brightest heaven of invention," and grandly sing of grandest themes : All this time the wind is blowing, blowing; And see the waves, how monstrous high they're rolling, What an epic sublimity of thought and language pervades this stanza! And what force and intensity are imparted to the description by the repetition of "blowing" and "bigger"! The epithet "faintly lolling," moreover, is so felicitous and so applicable to a vessel straining in the violence of a tempest. PUNCH is sorry that he cannot afford the space requisite for quoting the entire of either of the "Yarns," which Mr. Gaskell has incorporated with his epic (much as Lord Byron inlaid Don Juan with "The isles of Greece ;)" but an extract from the "second Yarn," may suffice to indicate the versatility of Mr. Gaskell's genius, and the ease, the fluency and the variety of his versification : The good ship was sailing, sailing, sailing, When the Skipper he got beastly drunk, As drunk as he could be; And the Skipper's little dog He jumped into the sea, LEGISLATIVE ASSEMBLY.-Mr. PUNCH's reporter entered the House at five o'clock precisely, and took his seat in the gallery-the standing orders being suspended for the purpose. Ata quarter past four the Speaker (who was doubtless acquainted with the above circumstance) made his appearance, and took the chair, which he first dusted carefully with his pocket handkerchief. After a short interval, occupied in doing nothing particular, the new member for Melbourne was brought up in custody of Mr. Michie and Mr. Moore, and introduced to the Speaker, who pretended not to have the slightest idea of who he might be. The new chum legislator kept his temper remarkably well, and was only heard to swear once, though his friends did their best to make him look ridiculous, as they pinioned his elbows on his way to the Speaker's chair. Clerk of the House read the form of adjuration in a very bad voice, and did not mind his stops a bit. Hon. member repeated it every word, and was then trotted round the House, when, after making a feint at the cross benches, he settled down in a soft Mr. Michie was observed spot on the Opposition side of the House. to whisper something to the new hand, supposed to be a proposal to shout. Mr. Langland's reply inaudible in the gallery, but believed to be a suggestion that Mr. Michie should fetch the beer. (Interval of five minutes for refreshment.) On re-entering the reporter's gallery found hon. member asking a number of foolish questions, a sort of child, first catechism. Mr. Hughes wanted the Government to furnish some particular paper-very likely blotting paper- which was on the table all the time. One hon. member moved for a return of the number of acres of land for sale in the Plenty ranges, and the number of square yards they would each contain if they were flattened out. Captain Clarke laid upon the table half a ream of foolscap, containing returns and information calculated to allay for a while the unquenchable thirst for knowledge that prevails in the House. The amount expended on public gardens and park lands, excited some attention, but the great cost of ornamental shrubs and gravel walks was so apparent to the senatorial reflection of the House, that no remark was passed on the subject. Mr. Horne moved an address to the late Governor. The hon. member's speech occupied three minutes, and was characterised by the introduction of "Sir," at intervals of three words. At the eightysecond repetition, just as the House expected the epithet would be varied into Doctor, the member for Warrnambool sat down, with the acquired title of Sir George Horne. Dr. Embling then rose, and the reporters immediately rolled up their shirt sleeves, but it was a mountain and mouse sort of business after all. The doctor proposed that a sum should be placed on the estimates to defray the expense of sending an invalided Government official home to his friends. Mr. O'Shanassy doubted the prudence of such a proceeding, however much he might respect the Doctor's benevolent motive. The member for Kilmore was understood to say that if this precedent were established, any overworked Government official (say the Colonial Secretary) might claim a similar indulgence. Mr. Blair thought differently, and appeared to entertain a notion that imperfect condition, and the serious character of pulmonary complaints in general. About a dozen more members had their say on the subject; a point of order was raised; Mr. Duffy came out strong thereat; the Speaker was mystified, and the motion withdrawn. Mr. Duffy then commenced his wind-up entertainment of Parlia mentary pyrotechnics, to introduce his measure to do away with the necessity of members of Parliament possessing any qualification whatever. Not having space for the whole of the hon. member's long story on the subject; and feeling that any curtailment would result in a special appeal to the House of Assembly; and the probability of our reporter being summoned to the bar, to take a nobbler with the Speaker, we must leave the affair to be faintly imagined. A great many good things were said by hon. members on the occasion, which might have induced Mr. PUNCH to publish a supplement, but, being warm weather, the steam engine is hardly equal to the additional exertion. The House finally adopted the opinion that members of Parliament need not necessarily possess a shilling of their own, but are fully entitled to a weekly salary, and suitable prizes for good behaviour-to be publicly presented at Christmas and Midsummer. Hot water and spoons, with suitable accompaniments, were served in the neighbourhood at one o'clock, and, at a quarter past, the House adjourned. it was the special duty of the Legislature to provide sailing packets, spring carts, and saddle horses, for the particular recreation of State invalids. Dr. Greeves took off his hat (which being the best in the House he had hitherto kept on his head), made a few shrewd remarks; and was followed by Mr. Michie, who tried to give importance to the discussion, but without success; and Mr. Griffith, seeing the reporters desist from taking notes, took a hint from the parliamentary barometer, and moved that the house had had enough of it. Mr. Michie brought forward his motion respecting the proposed expenditure of one quarter of a million sterling in the construction of a grand national lunatic asylum. The hon. member was aware that it was intended to erect a building on a scale of magnitude commensurate with the probable requirements of the colony, and he admitted the propriety of making arrangements for the reception of one half of the population, but did not see the necessity for a highly decorated structure, with plate-glass windows and fancy chimney pots. He thought a plain building, in the cotton factory style, would answer every purpose, and positively objected to stained glass and frescoes, and that sort of thing. Most hon. members had their sympathies excited and something to say upon the subject. Mr. Foster was understood to be fully alive to the necessity of a prompt increase of accommodation, and had reason to believe that a large proportion of the population would be entitled to comfortable board and lodging in the new establishment. The member for Kilmore said something, from which we gathered that the result of a certain city election, some time ago, had quite convinced him that the citizens of Melbourne were rapidly qualifying themselves for admission to the proposed institution. The motion was ultimately carried. Somebody then said something about sowing mignionette in the park lands, laying down a chamomile border in Victoria-parade, and providing twelve dozen cane bottomed chairs for the use of the nursemaids and children who frequented Carlton Gardens. (We did not quite catch the observations, but they were somewhat to the above effect.) Mr. Michie said something about the city lungs, their JANUARY 7. The Speaker took the chair at ten minutes past four, and went to work immediately. An hon. member, whose name did not reach the gallery, (of course not Mr. Baragwanath) asked a question-supposed to be from Mangnall's original collection. A great number of papers were laid upon the table, and a great many more on the floor, A message was announced from Sir Henry Barkly, and read by the Clerk (who really should take lessons of Mr. Richard Younge). We scarcely heard a word of the message, but fancied we could distinguish something about "tea and short whist." Mr. Haines then produced the required return, moved for by Mr. Cruikshank, of the number of candles consumed in the Government offices; whether tallow, composite, or Belmont sperm, distinguishing the sizes, stating the cost, the amount of deficiency (if any) discovered in each packet, and the stock now on hand. It was ordered to be printed. An hon. member then brought forward a measure for the protection of juvenile traders, by providing every lad with an umbrella and gloves, and promoting among them a society for mutual assurance from the consequence of taking a bad sixpence. Dr. Evans, who wore his prize pattern Exhibition trousers, and spoke indistinctly, presented petitions from a number of German colonists, street musicians, setting forth the impossibility of their talents being rightly appreciated, unless the Government prohibited noisy traffic in certain public thoroughfares. The hon. member wanted to bring in two at a time, but the Speaker would not have it, notwithstanding the Doctor quoted Euripides, and tall Demosthenes practising with the pebbles. lars of which we are unable to make room for. A great deal of equally important business was transacted, particuThe occupants of the strangers' gallery, (of whose presence the Speaker is supposed to be totally unconscious) were much pleased, and are said to have called for the principal speakers at the close of the performance, to greet them with vociferous applause. This last rumour reaches us on the eve of publication, and may possibly be slightly exaggerated. EARTHLY CONSIDERATION. In yesterday's Argus is the following advertisement :"EARTH to be had on cheap terms. Apply X." Now we must take exception to the above as being rather obscure. What on earth does the advertiser mean? Is it fuller's earth, or any Cheap as dirt, we suppose. other earth of any earthly use? What are cheap terms for earth! Does he mean land, building land, any land, Gipps Land. How much is there of it? Of course X stands for an unknown quantity. If we took five shillings' worth, would we get a crown grant. Pay another shilling, X, and tell us something more. SINGULAR BUT TRUE. Whenever the Lunatic Asylum is before the House, Dr. Embling appears to be perfectly "at home." |