earwigs about a husband, or scorpions to creep between man and wife. Mor. O the variety and changes of my torment! Hau. Let them be cudgell'd out of doors by our grooms. Cen. I'll lend you my footman. Mav. We'll have our men blanket them in the hall. Mrs. Ott. As there was one at our house, madam, for peeping in at the door. Daw. Content, i' faith. True. Stay, ladies and gentlemen; you'll hear before you proceed. Mav. I'd have the bridegroom blanketted too. Cen. Begin with him first. Hau. Yes, by my troth. Mor. O mankind generation! Daup. Ladies, for my sake forbear. Hau. Yes, for sir Dauphine's sake. Cen. He shall command us. La-F. He is as fine a gentleman of his inches, madam, as any is about the town, and wears as good colours when he lists. True. Be brief, sir, and confess your infirmity: she'll be a-fire to be quit of you, if she but hear that named once, you shall not entreat her to stay: she'll fly you like one that had the marks upon him. Mor. Ladies, I must crave all your pardons True. Silence, ladies. Mor. For a wrong I have done to your whole sex, in marrying this fair and virtuous gentlewomanCler. Hear him, good ladies. Mor. Being guilty of an infirmity, which, before I conferred with these learned men, I thought I might have concealed True. But now being better informed in his conscience by them, he is to declare it, and give satisfaction, by asking your public forgiveness. Mor. I am no man, ladies. All. How! Mor. Utterly unabled in nature, by reason of frigidity, to perform the duties, or any the least office of a husband. Mav. Now, out upon him, prodigious creature. Cen. Bridegroom uncarnate! Hau. And would you offer it to a young gentlewoman? Mrs. Ott. A lady of her longings? Epi. Tut, a device, a device, this! it smells rankly, ladies. A mere comment of his own. True. Why, if you suspect that, ladies, you may have him search'd Daw. As the custom is, by a jury of physicians. Mor. O me, must I undergo that? Mrs. Ott. No, let women search him, madam; we can do it ourselves. Mor. Out on me, worse! Epi. No, ladies, you shall not need, I'll take him with all his faults. Mor. Worst of all! Cler. Why then, 'tis no divorce, doctor, if she consent not! Cut. No, if the man be frigidus, it is de parte uxoris, that we grant libellum divortii, in the law. Ott. Ay, it is the same in theology. Mor. Worse, worse than worst! True. Nay, sir, be not utterly disheartened; we have yet a small relic of hope left, as near as our comfort is blown out. Clerimont, produce your brace of knights. What was that, master parson, you told me in errore qualitatis, e'en now!-Dauphine, whisper the bride, that she carry it as if she were guilty, and ashamed. [Aside. SCENE I.-A Room in LovEWIT'S House. Enter FACE, in a captain's uniform, with his sword drawn, and SUBTLE with a vial, quarrelling, and followed by DOL COMMON. Face. Believe't, I will. Sub. Thy worst. I fart at thee. Dol. Have you your wits? why, gentlemen! for loveFace. Sirrah, I'll strip you Sub. What to do? lick tigs Out at my Face. Rogue, rogue !-out of all your sleights. Dol. Nay, look ye, sovereign, general, are you madmen? Sub. O, let the wild sheep loose. I'll gum your silks With good strong water, an you come. Dol. Will you have The neighbours hear you! will you betray all? Face. Sirrah |