though he be none of the wits. He will salute a judge upon the bench, and a bishop in the pulpit, a lawyer when he is pleading at the bar, and a lady when she is dancing in a masque, and put her out. He does give plays, and suppers, and invites his guests to them, aloud, out of his window, as they ride by in coaches. He has a lodging in the Strand for the purpose: or to watch when ladies are gone to the china-houses, or the Exchange, that he may meet them by chance, and give them presents, some two or three hundred pounds' worth of toys, to be laugh'd at. He is never without a spare banquet, or sweet-meats in his chamber, for their women to alight at, and come up to for a bait.

I

Daup. Excellent! he was a fine youth last night; but now he is much finer! what is his Christian name? have forgot.

Re-enter Page.

Cler. Sir Amorous La-Foole.

Page. The gentleman is here below that owns that

name.

Cler. 'Heart, he's come to invite me to dinner, I hold my life.

Daup. Like enough: prithee, let's have him up.
Cler. Boy, marshal him.

Page. With a truncheon, sir?

Cler. Away, I beseech you. [Exit Page.]—I'll make him tell us his pedigree now; and what meat he has to dinner; and who are his guests; and the whole course of his fortunes; with a breath.

Enter Sir AMOROUS LA-FOOLE.

La-F. 'Save, dear sir Dauphine! honoured master Clerimont!

Cler. Sir Amorous! you have very much honested my lodging with your presence.

La-F. Good faith, it is a fine lodging: almost as delicate a lodging as mine.

Cler. Not so, sir.

La-F. Excuse me, sir, if it were in the Strand, I assure you. I am come, master Clerimont, to entreat you to wait upon two or three ladies, to dinner, to-day. Cler. How, sir! wait upon them did you ever see me carry dishes!

La-F. No, sir, dispense with me; I meant, to bear them company.

Cler. O, that I will, sir: the doubtfulness of your phrase, believe it, sir, would breed you a quarrel once an hour, with the terrible boys, if you should but keep them fellowship a day.

La-F. It should be extremely against my will, sir, if I contested with any man.

Cler. I believe it, sir.

Where hold you your feast?

La-F. At Tom Otter's, sir.

Daup. Tom Otter! what's he?

La-F. Captain Otter, sir; he is a kind of gamester, but he has had command both by sea and by land. Daup. O, then he is animal amphibium?

La-F. Ay, sir: his wife was the rich china-woman, that the courtiers visited so often; that gave the rare entertainment. She commands all at home.

Cler. Then she is captain Otter.

La-F. You say very well, sir; she is my kinswoman, a La-Foole by the mother-side, and will invite any great ladies for my sake.

Daup. Not of the La-Fooles of Essex ?

La-F. No, sir, the La-Fooles of London.
Cler. Now, he's in.

[Aside,

La-F. They all come out of our house, the La-Fooles

of the north, the La-Fooles of the west, the La-Fooles of the east and south-we are as ancient a family as any is in Europe-but I myself am descended lineally of the French La-Fooles-and, we do bear for our coat yellow, or or, checker'd azure, and gules, and some three or four colours more, which is a very noted coat, and has, sometimes, been solemnly worn by divers nobility of our house-but let that go, antiquity is not respected now.I had a brace of fat does sent me, gentlemen, and half-adozen of pheasants, a dozen or two of godwits, and some other fowl, which I would have eaten, while they are good, and in good company :-there will be a great lady or two, my lady Haughty, my lady Centaure, mistress Dol Mavis-and they come o' purpose to see the silent gentlewoman, mistress Epicone, that honest sir John Daw has promised to bring thither-and then, mistress Trusty, my lady's woman, will be there too, and this honourable knight, sir Dauphine, with yourself, master Clerimont-and we'll be very merry, and have fiddlers, and dance. I have been a mad wag in my time, and have spent some crowns since I was a page in court, to my lord Lofty, and after, my lady's gentleman-usher, who got me knighted in Ireland, since it pleased my elder brother to die.-I had as fair a gold jerkin on that day, as any worn in the island voyage, or at Cadiz, none dispraised; and I came over in it hither, show'd myself to my friends in court, and after went down to my tenants in the country, and surveyed my lands, let new leases, took their money, spent it in the eye o' the land here, upon ladies :-and now I can take up at my pleasure.

Daup. Can you take up ladies, sir?

Cler. O, let him breathe, he has not recover'd.

Daup. Would I were your half in that commodity !
La-F. No, sir, excuse me: I meant money, which

can take up any thing. I have another guest or two, to invite, and say as much to, gentlemen. I'll take my leave abruptly, in hope you will not fail- -Your [Excit.

servant.

Daup. We will not fail you, sir precious La-Foole; but she shall, that your ladies come to see, if I have credit afore sir Daw.

Cler. Did you ever hear such a wind-sucker, as this? Daup. Or such a rook as the other, that will betray his mistress to be seen! Come, 'tis time we prevented it. Cler, Go. [Exeunt.

ACT II.

SCENE I.-A Room in MOROSE's House.

Enter MOROSE, with a tube in his hand, followed by MUTE.

Mor. Cannot I, yet, find out a more compendious method, than by this trunk, to save my servants the labour of speech, and mine ears the discords of sounds? Let me see all discourses but my own afflict me; they seem harsh, impertinent, and irksome. Is it not possible, that thou shouldst answer me by signs, and I apprehend thee, fellow Speak not, though I question you. You have taken the ring off from the street door, as I bade you answer me not by speech, but by silence; unless it be otherwise [MUTE makes a leg.]-very good. And you have fastened on a thick quilt, or flock-bed, on the outside of the door; that if they knock with their daggers, or with brick-bats, they can make no noise ?— But with your leg, your answer, unless it be otherwise [makes a leg].-Very good. This is not only fit modesty in a servant, but good state and discretion in a master. And you have been with Cutbeard the barber, to have

him come to me? [makes a leg.]-Good. And, he will come presently? Answer me not but with your leg, unless it be otherwise, shake your head, or shrug [makes a leg]. So! Your Italian and Spaniard are wise in these and it is a frugal and comely gravity. How long will it be ere Cutbeard come? Stay; if an hour, hold up your whole hand; if half an hour, two fingers; if a quarter, one; [holds up a finger bent.]-Good: half a quarter tis well. And have you given him a key, to come in without knocking? [makes a leg.]-good. And, is the lock oil'd, and the hinges, to-day? [makes a leg.] -good. And the quilting of the stairs no where worn out and bare? [makes a leg.]-Very good. I see, by much doctrine, and impulsion, it may be effected; stand by. The Turk, in this divine discipline, is admirable, exceeding all the potentates of the earth; still waited on by mutes; and all his commands so executed; yea, even in the war, as I have heard, and in his marches, most of his charges and directions given by signs, and with silence an exquisite art! and I am heartily ashamed, and angry oftentimes, that the princes of Christendom should suffer a barbarian to transcend them in so high a point of felicity. I will practise it hereafter. [A horn winded within.]-How now? oh! oh! what villain, what prodigy of mankind is that? look. [Exit MUTE.]-[Horn again.]-Oh? cut his throat, cut his throat what murderer, hell-hound, devil can this be!

Re-enter MUTE.

Mute. It is a post from the court

Mor. Out, rogue! and must thou blow thy horn too! Mute. Alas, it is a post from the court, sir, that says, he must speak with you, pain of death

Mor. Pain of thy life, be silent!

...2...