has not great resolution, be obliged to become the most mischievous imp of the whole fraternity, merely to avoid the harder imputations of fear and effeminacy. When he mixes amongst men, the imperfection of his education will still stick close to him; the bar itself will hardly cure him of sheepishness, or the cockade defend him from the appearance of cowardice. His very excellencies (if he has them) will seem virtues out of nature; they will be the wisdom of a Cornelia, or the heroism of a Sophonisba. Nay, were we to see him mount a breach, I am afraid that instead of those noble eulogies and exclamations which should properly attend a hero in such circumstances, we should only cry out with Mrs. Clerimont in the play, "O the brave pretty creature!" Such are the calamites, Mr. Fitz-Adam, which almost necessarily attend on male beauty; and so pernicious sometimes are its consequences, that I have more than once been tempted to wish some method could be found out which might extirpate it entirely. What statesmen, what generals, what prelates may we have lost, merely by the misfortune of a fine complexion! It is with infinite concern that I frequently look round me in public assemblies, and see such numbers of well-dressed youths, who might really have been of use to themselves, and to mankind, had their parents taken the Indian method of marking their faces to distinguish their quality. As it is, their unlucky persons have led them astray into pertness and affectation, under a notion of politeness; and what ought to have been sense and judgment, is at best but a genteel taste in trifles. Thoughtless man! (have I sometimes said to myself, when the melancholy mood was on) how blind is he to futurity! little do these flutterers think, while their summers are dancing away in dangling to Ranelagh with lady Biddy and lady Fanny, that the cold uncomfortable winters of their life must at last terminate in prattling scandal, and playing at quadrille with lady Bridget, and lady Frances! Their way of life Is fallen into the sear, the yellow leaf: And that which should accompany old age Surely Mr. Fitz-Adam, the preventing such misfortunes might very well become your care, if not that of the legislature. Every body knows that there was a time, even in a Roman army, when "aim at "their faces" was as dreadful a sound, and attended with as fatal consequences, as 66 keeping your fire" was on a late glorious occasion. Now, though I would by no means insinuate that a beau must be a coward: nay, though the world has furnished us with many examples of very finical men who were very great heroes; yet as it might perhaps be better, even in time of peace, that men should not attend so entirely to their persons, I would endeavour to strike at the root of the evil. It is, I believe, admitted as a truth in inoculation, that the part where the incision is made, is usually the fullest of any part of the body. I would propose therefore, with regard to our male children, that we should follow the original Circassian manner, and, " aim at their faces." A general practice of this kind might be extremely useful to the state: the literary world would I am sure be the bet ter for it; for what mother could be averse to having her sons taught to read, when perhaps the eye-lashes were gone, and the eyes themselves no longer worth preserving? Considerations of this sort will I hope induce some projector by profession to undertake the affair, and draw up, what may properly enough be styled, a scheme for raising men for the service of "the public." 66 I must however do justice to the fair youths of the present age, by confessing that many of them seem conscious of their imperfections; and, as far as their own judgments can direct them, take pains to appear manly. But alas! the methods they pursue, like most mistaken applications, rather aggravate the calamity. Their drinking and raking only makes them look like old maids. Their swearing is almost as shocking as it would be in the other sex. Their chewing tobacco not only offends, but makes us apprehensive at the same time that the poor things will be sick. When they talk to common women as they pass them in the Mall, they seem as much out of character as Mrs. Woffington in Sir Harry Wildair, making love to Angelica. In short, every part of their conduct, though perhaps well intended, is extremely unnatural. Whereas if they would only spend half the pains in acquiring a little knowledge, and practising a little decency, we might perhaps be brought to endure them; at least, we should be less shocked with their beauty. When I look back on what I have written, I am a little afraid that my zeal for the public may have hurried me too far; for as we are taught to pity natural defects, we ought to be tender of blaming the errors they occasion. But what shall we say, Mr. Fitz-Adam, to another set of animals, whom nature certainly designed for men, and made, as Mr. Pope says, "their "souls bullet, and their bodies buff?" When these louts of six feet high, with the shoulders of porters, and the legs of chairmen, affect, "to lisp, and to am"ble, and to nick-name God's creatures," surely we may laugh at such incorrigible ideots. The fair youths of a less gentle deportment aim at least at what they imagine to be manly: but these dairy-maids in breeches leave their sex behind them at their first setting out, and give up the only qualities which they could possibly be admired for. Any one who is conversant in the world must have seen numbers of this latter sort; some of them tripping, others lolloping in their gait (if I may be allowed such expressions) and many of them so very affected, that they cannot even see with their eyes, but at most pinker through the lashes of them, when they would languish in public at some mistress of theirs and the whole town's affections. Their voices too have a peculiar softness, and are scarce ever raised, unless it be at the play-house to make an appointment for the King's arms, or to dispatch an orange wench on a message to a balcony. In short, Mr. Fitz-Adam, what with natural and acquired effeminacy, the present age seems an age of affectation. "The whole head is weak, and the whole heart sick." And yet, (that I may not leave your readers with disagreeable ideas in their minds) notwithstanding these alarming appearances, the eye of a philosopher can still trace out something to counterbalance this amazing degeneracy. However desperate the vulgar may think our situation, we, who see the fervor of the torrid zone sweetly compensated by copious dews and everlasting breezes, and the whole system of nature admirably adjusted; we, I say, see likewise that this human defect is not left without its remedy. However delicate our men are become, we may still hope that the rising generation will not be totally enervated. The assured look, the exalted voice, and theatrical step of our modern females, pretty sufficiently convince us that there is something manly still left amongst us. So that we may reasonably conclude, though the male and female accomplishments may be strangely scattered and disposed of between the sexes, yet they will somehow or other be jumbled together in that complicated animal, a man and his wife. I am, Sir, Your humble servant, S. H. No. LIX. THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14. To Mr. Fitz-Adam. SIR, I AM a constant reader of your papers, and congratulate you upon the men of wit you have for your correspondents. I do not pretend to add to the number, and shall only attempt to furnish you with a few hints, which considered and formed into order by a writer of your ability, may possibly be productive of entertainment (at least) to the public. Your letters upon the modern taste in gardening are, in my judgment, excellent in their kind; and so indeed are those upon architecture, as far as they go: but methinks you have not carried your observations quite far enough; nor have you any where remarked the injustice and ingratitude with which those worthy patriots are treated, who ruin their estates, or lay out the fortunes of their younger children on their seats and villas, to the great embellishment of this kingdom, which, (if it is not already one great and complete garden) contains at least more sumptuous country houses, parks, gardens, temples, and buildings, than all the rest of Europe. If you are in danger of losing yourself on the vast and dreary wastes of some comfortless heath, and are directed on your course by a friendly beacon of prodigious height, you |