favour, resolve every thing that is possible into it is in that sex the only season in which they what is probable, and then reckon on that can advance their fortunes. But if we turn probability as on what must certainly happen. our thoughts to the men, we see such crowds Will Honeycomb, upon my observing his look-unhappy, from no other reason, but an illing on a lady with some particular attention, grounded hope, that it is hard to say which gave me an account of the great distresses they rather deserve, our pity or contempt. It which had laid waste that her very fine face, is not unpleasant to see a fellow, grown old and had given an air of melancholy to a very in attendance, and after having passed half agreeable person. That lady, and a couple of a life in servitude, call himself the unhappiest sisters of hers, were, said Will, fourteen years of all men, and pretend to be disappointed, ago, the greatest fortunes about town; but because a courtier broke his word. He that without having any loss, by bad tenants, by promises himself any thing but what may nabad securities, or any damage by sea or land turally arise from his own property or labour, are reduced to very narrow circumstances. and goes beyond the desire of possessing above They were at that time the most inaccessible two parts in three even of that, lays up for haughty beauties in town; and their preten- himself an increasing heap of afflictions and sions to take upon them at that unmerciful disappointments. There are but two means in rate, were raised upon the following scheme, the world of gaining by other men, and these according to which all their lovers were answered. are by being either agreeable or considerable. The generality of mankind do all things for their own sakes; and when you hope any thing from persons above you, if you cannot say, 'I can be thus agreeable, or thus serviceable,' it is ridiculous to pretend to the dignity of being unfortunate when they leave you; you were injudicious in hoping for any other than to be neglected for such as can come within these descriptions of being capable to please, or serve your patron, when his humour or inter • Our father is a youngish man, but then our mother is somewhat older, and not likely to have any children: his estate being 8001. per annum, at twenty years purchase, is worth 16,000l. Our uncle, who is above fifty, has 4001. per annum, which at the aforesaid rate, is 8,000l. There is a widow aunt, who has 10,0001. at her own disposal, left by her husband, and an old maiden aunt, who has 6,000l. Then our father's mother has 9001. per an-ests call for their capacity either way. num, which is worth 18,000l. and 1,000l. each It would not methinks be a useless compariof us has of our own, 'which cannot be tak-son between the condition of a man who shuns en from us. These summed up together stand all the pleasures of life, and of one who makes thus : it his business to pursue them. recluse makes his austerities while the luxurious' man gains uneasiness from his enjoyments. difference in the happiness of him cerated by abstinence, and his who is surfeited with excess? He who resigns the world has no temptation to envy, hatred, malice, anger, but is in constant possession of a serene mind: he who follows the pleasures of it, which are in their very nature disappointing, is in constant search of care, solitude, remorse, and confusion. Father's... Uncle's. L. 800 16,000 400 Aunt's... {10,000 Grandmother's Own, . . . 900 8'000 16,000 18.000 3,000 Total,.. 61,000 This equally divided between us three amounts to 20,000l. each: an allowance being given for enlargement upon common fame, we may lawfully pass for 30,000l. fortunes.' MR. SPECTATOR, Hope in the comfortable, nothing but What is the who is ma Jan. 14, 1712. In prospect of this, and the knowledge of 'I am a young woman, and have my fortune their own personal merit, every one was con- to make, for which reason I come constantly to temptible in their eyes, and they refused those church to hear divine service, and make conoffers which had been frequently made them.quests; but one great hinderance in this my But mark the end. The mother dies, the fa- design is, that our clerk, who was once a garther is married again and has a son; on him dener, has this Christmas so over-decked the was entailed the father's, uncle's, and grand-church with greens, that he has quite spoiled mother's estate. This cut off 42,000l. The my prospect; insomuch that I have scarce seen maiden aunt married a tall Irishman, and with the young baronet I dress at these three weeks, her went the 6,000l. The widow died, and though we have both been very constant at left but enough to pay her debts and bury her; our devotions, and do not sit above three pews so that there remained for these three girls but off. The church, as it is now equipped, looks their own 1,0001. They had by this time more like a green-house than a place of worpassed their prime, and got on the wrong ship. The middle aisle is a very pretty shady side of thirty; and must pass the remainder walk, and the pews look like so many arbours of their days, upbraiding mankind that on each side of it. The pulpit itself has such they mind nothing but money, and bewailing clusters of ivy, holly, and rosemary about it, that virtue, sense, and modesty, are had at present in no manner of estimation. I mention this case of ladies before any other because it is the most irreparable; for though youth is the time least capable of reflection, that a light fellow in our pew took occasion to say, that the congregation heard the word out of a bush, like Moses. Sir Anthony Love's pew in particular is so well hedged, that all my batteries have no effect. I am obliged to shoot at LUCIAN rallies the philosophers in his time, who could not agree whether they should admit riches into the number of real goods; the professors of the severer sects, threw them quite out, while others as resolutely inserted them. but it is in the power of every one alike to Never do that by proxy which you can do yourself. A third instrument of growing rich is me thod in business, which, as well as the two former, is also attainable by persons of the meanest capacities. The famous De Witt, one of the greatest statesmen of the age in which he lived, being asked by a friend how he was able to despatch I am apt to believe, that as the world grew that mulitude of affairs in which he was enmore polite, the rigid doctrines of the first gaged? replied, that his whole art consisted in were wholly discarded; and I do not find any doing one thing at once. If,' says he, 'I have one so hardy at present as to deny that there any necessary despatches to make, I think of are very great advantages in the enjoyment of nothing else until those are finished: if any a plentiful fortune. Indeed the best and wisest domestic affairs require my attention, I give of men, though they may possibly despise a myself up wholly to them until they are set good part of those things which the world calls in order." pleasures, can, I think, hardly be insensible In short, we often see men of dull and of that weight and dignity which a moderate phlegmatic tempers arriving to great estates, share of wealth adds to their characters, coun-by making a regular and orderly disposition sels, and actions. of their business, and that without it the great We find it is a general complaint in profes- est parts and most lively imaginations rather sions and trades, that the richest members of puzzle their affairs, than bring them to an hapthem are chiefly encouraged, and this is false-py issue. ly imputed to the ill-nature of mankind, who From what has been said, I think I may lay are ever bestowing their favours on such as it down as a maxim, that every man of good least want them. Whereas if we fairly consi- common sense may, if he pleases, in his parder their proceedings in this case, we shall ticular station of life, most certainly be rich. find them founded on undoubted reason: The reason why we sometimes see that men since supposing both equal in their natural of the greatest capacities are not so, is either integrity, I ought, in common prudence, to because they despise wealth in comparison of fear foul play from an indigent person, ra- something else; or at least are not content ther than from one whose circumstances seem to be getting an estate, unless they may do to have placed him above the bare temptation it in their own way, and at the same time of money. enjoy all the pleasures, and gratifications of But besides these ordinary forms of growing rich, it must be allowed that there is room for genius as well in this, as in all other circum This reason also makes the commonwealth life." regard her richest subjects, as those who are most concerned for her quiet and interest, and consequently fittest to be intrusted with her highest employments. On the contrary, Cati-stances of life. line's saying to those men of desperate for- Though the ways of getting money were tunes, who applied themselves to him, and of long since very numerous, and though so mawhom he afterwards composed his army, that they had nothing to hope for but a civil war, was too true not to make the impressions he desired. ny new ones have been found out of late years, there is certainly still remaining so large a field for invention, that a man of an indiffer ent head might easily sit down and draw up I believe I need not fear but that what I such a plan for the conduct and support of his have said in praise of money, will be more life, as was never yet once thought of. than sufficient with most of my readers to We daily see methods put in practice by excuse the subject of my present paper, hungry and ingenious men, which demonwhich I intend as an essay on the ways to strate the power of invention in this parraise a man's fortune, or the art of grow-ticular. ing rich. It is reported of Scaramouch, the first faThe first and most infallible method towards mous Italian comedian, that being at Paris and the attaining of this end is thrift. All men in great want, he bethought himself of conare not equally qualified for getting money, stantly plying near the poor of a noted per also add, that the first acquisitions are generally attended with more satisfaction, and as good a conscience. I must not however close this essay, without observing that what has been said is only intended for persons in the common ways of thriving, and is not designed for those men who from low beginnings push themselves up fumer in that city, and when any one came out who had been buying snuff, never failed to desire a taste of them: when he had got together a quantity made up of several different sorts, he sold it again at a lower rate to the same perfumer, who finding out the trick, called it Tabac de mille fleurs,' or Snuff of a thousand flowers.' The story farther tells us, that by this means he got a very com- to the top of states, and the most considerfortable subsistence, until making too much haste to grow rich, he one day took such an unreasonable pinch out of the box of a Swiss officer, as engaged him in a quarrel, and obliged him to quit this ingenious way of life. Nor can I in this place omit doing justice to a youth of my own country, who, though he is scarce yet twelve years old, has with great industry and application attained to the art of beating the grenadiers march on his chin. I am credibly informed that by this means he does not only maintain himself and his mother, but that he is laying up money every day, with a design, if the war continues, to purchase a drum at least, if not a pair of colours. I shall conclude these instances with the able figures of life. My maxim of saving is not designed for such as these, since nothing is more usual than for thrift to disappoint the ends of ambition; it being almost impossible that the mind should be intent upon trifles, while it is at the same time forming some great design. I may therefore compare these men to a great poet, who, as Longinus says, while he is full of the most magnificent ideas, is not always at leisure to mind the little beauties and niceties of his art. I would, however, have all my readers take great care how they mistake themselves for uncommon geniuses, and men above rule, since it is very easy for them to be deceived in this particular. Posthabui tamen illorum mea seria ludo.* X. Virg. Ecl. vii 17. device of the famous Rabelais, when he was No. 284.] Friday, January 25, 1711-12. Their mirth to share, I bid my business wait. AN affected behaviour is without question a very great charm; but under the notion of being unconstrained and disengaged, people take upon them to be unconcerned in any duty of life. A general negligence is what they assume upon all occasions, and set up for an aversion to all manner of business and The plot succeeded as he desired. The host attention, I am the carelessest creature in the gave immediate intelligence to the secretary world, I have certainly the worst memory of of state. The secretary presently sent down any man living,' are frequent expressions in a special messenger, who brought up the trai- the mouth of a pretender of this sort. It is a tor to court, and provided him at the king's professed maxim with these people never to expense with proper accommodations on the think; there is something so solemn in reflecroad. As soon as he appeared, he was known tion, they, forsooth, can never give themto be the celebrated Rabelais, and his powder selves time for such a way of employing upon examination being found very innocent, themselves. It happens often that this sort of the jest was only laughed at; for which a less eminent droll would have been sent to the galleys. man is heavy enough in his nature to be a good proficient in such matters as are attainable by industry; but, alas! he has such an Trade and commerce might doubtless be ardent desire to be what he is not, to be too still varied a thousand ways, out of which volatile, to have the faults of a person of spiwould arise such branches as have not yet rit, that he professes himself the most unfit been touched. The famous Doily is still fresh man living for any manner of application. in every one's memory, who raised a fortune When this humour enters into the head of a by finding out materials for such stuffs as female, she generally professes sickness upon might at once be cheap and genteel. I have all occasions, and acts all things with an inheard it affirmed, that had not he discovered disposed air. She is offended, but her mind this frugal method of gratifying our pride, is too lazy to raise her to anger, therefore we should hardly have been able to carry on the last war. I regard trade not only as highly advantageous to the commonwealth in general, but as the most natural and likely method of making a man's fortune; having observed since my being a Spectator in the world, greater estates got about 'Change, than at Whitehall or Saint James's. I believe I may VOL. 1. she lives only as actuated by a violent spleen, and gentle scorn. She has hardly curiosity to listen to scandal of her acquaintance, and has never attention enough to hear them commended. This affectation in both sexes makes The motto originally prefixed to this paper was, • Strenua nos exercet inertia,-Hor.' which is now that of No. 54. 47 them vain of being useless, and take a certain | sure you of it, by taking pen, ink, and paper pride in their insignificancy. in my hand. Forgive this; you know I sball not often offend in this kind. I am very much Your servant, 'BRIDGET EITHERDOWN. The fellow is of your country, pr'ythee send me word however whether he has so great an estate.' MR. SPECTATOR, Opposite to this folly is another no less unreasonable, and that is, the impertinence of being always in a hurry.' There are those who visit ladies, and beg pardon, before they are well seated in their chairs, that they just called in, but are obliged to attend business of importance elsewhere the very next moment. Thus they run from place to place, professing Jan. 24, 1712. that they are obliged to be still in another 'I am clerk of the parish from whence company than that which they are in. These Mrs. Simper sends her complaint, in your persons who are just a going somewhere else Spectator of Wednesday last. I must beg of should never be detained; let all the world you to publish this as a public admonition to allow that business is to be minded, and their the aforesaid Mrs. Simper, otherwise all my affairs will be at an end. Their vanity is to be honest care in the disposition of the greens in importuned, and compliance with their multi- the church will have no effect: I shall thereplicity of affairs would effectually despatch fore, with your leave, lay before you the whole them. The travelling ladies, who have half matter. I was formerly, as she charges me, the town to see in an afternoon, may be par- for several years a gardener in the county of doned for being in a constant hurry but it is Kent: but I must absolutely deny that it is inexcusable in men to come where they have out of any affection I retain for my old emno business, to profess they absent themselves ployment that I have placed my greens so liwhere they have. It has been remarked by berally about the church, but out of a partisome nice observers and critics, that there is cular spleen I conceived against Mrs. Simper nothing discovers the true temper of a person (and others of the same sisterhood) some time so much as his letters. I have by me two ago. As to herself, I had one day set the epistles, which are written by two people of hundredth psalm, and was singing the first the different humours above-mentioned. It is line in order to put the congregation into the wonderful that a man cannot observe upon tune; she was all the while courtesying to Sir himself when he sits down to write, but that Anthony, in so affected and indecent a manner, he will gravely commit himself to paper the that the indignation I conceived at it made same man that he is in the freedom of conver- me forget myself so far, as from the tune of sation. I have hardly seen a line from any of that psalm to wander into Southwell tune, these gentlemen but spoke them as absent from and from thence into Windsor tune, still unwhat they were doing, as they profess they are able to recover myself, until I had with the utwhen they come into company. For the folly most confusion set a new one. Nay, I have is, that they have persuaded themselves they often seen her rise up and smile, and courtesy really are busy. Thus their whole time is to one at the lower end of the church in the spent in suspense of the present moment to midst of a Gloria Patri; and when I have the next, and then from the next to the suc-spoken the assent to a prayer with a long Amen, ceeding, which to the end of life, is to pass uttered with decent gravity, she has been rol away with pretence to many things, and exe-ling her eyes around about in such a manner, cution of nothing. SIR, ma as plainly showed, however she was moved, it was not towards an heavenly object. In fine, The post is just going out, and I have she extended her conquests so far over the ny other letters of very great importance to males, and raised such envy in the females, write this evening, but I could not omit mak-that what between love of those, and the jeaing my compliments to you for your civilities lousy of these, I was almost the only person to me when I was last in town. It is my misfortune to be so full of business, that I cannot tell you a thousand things which I have to say to you. I must desire you to communicate the contents of this to no one living; but believe me to be, with the greatest fidelity, Sir, Your most obedient humblé servant.' MADAM, that looked in a prayer-book all church-time. I had several projects in my head to put a stop lived in Kent, and there often heard how the to this growing mischief; but as I have long Kentish men evaded the Conqueror, by carrying green boughs over their heads, it put me in mind of practising this device against Mrs. Simper. I find I have preserved many young men from her eye-shot by this means, therefore humbly pray the boughs may be fixed, until she shall give security for her peaceable intentions. T. Your humble servant, I hate writing, of all things in the world; however, though I have drank the waters, and am told I ought not to use my eyes so much, I cannot forbear writing to you, to tell you I have been to the last degree hipped since I saw you. How could you entertain such a thought, No. 285.] Saturday, January 26, 1711-12. as that I should hear of that silly fellow with patience? Take my word for it, there is nothing in it; and you may believe it when so lazy a creature as I am undergo the pains to as Ne, quicunque Deus, quicunque adhibebitur heros, But then they did not wrong themselves so much, Not (to avoid such meanness) soaring high, author. Roscommon. Embryos and idiots, eremites and friars, A while discourse they hold. No fear lest dinner cool; when thus began Who of all ages to succeed, but feeling HAVING already treated of the fable, the characters, and sentiments in the Paradise Lost, we are in the last place to consider the The great masters in composition know very language; and as the learned world is very well that many an elegant phrase becomes immuch divided upon Milton as to this point, I proper for a poet or an orator, when it has hope they will excuse me if I appear particu- been debased by common use. For this realar in any of my opinions, and incline to those son the works of ancient authors, which are who judge the most advantageously of the written in dead languages, have a great advantage over those which are written in lanIt is requisite that the language of an heroic guages that are now spoken. Were there any poem should be both perspicuous and sub-mean phrases or idioms in Virgil or Homer lime. In proportion as either of these two they would not shock the ear of the most dequalities are wanting, the language is imper-licate modern reader, so much as they would fect. Perspicuity is the first and most neces- have done that of an old Greek or Roman sary qualification; insomuch that a good-na- because we never hear them pronounced in tured reader sometimes overlooks a little slip our streets, or in ordinary conversation. even in the grammar or syntax, where it is It is not therefore sufficient, that the lanimpossible for him to mistake the poet's sense. Of this kind is that passage in Milton, wherein he speaks of Satan: -God and his Son except, Created thing nought valu'd he nor shunn'd: Adam the goodliest man of men since born guage of an epic poem be perspicuous, unless it be also sublime. To this end it ought to deviate from the common forms and ordinary phrases of speech. The judgment of a poet very much discovers itself in shunning the common roads of expression, without falling into such ways of speech as may seem stiff and unnatural: he must not swell into a false sublime, by endeavouring to avoid the other exAmong the Greeks, Æschylus, and It is plain, that in the former of these pas-treme. sages, according to the natural syntax, the di- sometimes Sophocles, were guilty of this fault; vine persons mentioned in the first line are re-among the Latins, Claudian and Statius; and presented as created beings; and that, in the among our own countrymen, Shakspeare and other, Adam and Eve are confounded with Lee. In these authors the affectation of greattheir sons and daughters. Such little blemishes ness often hurts the perspicuity of the style, as as these, when the thought is great and natural, in many others the endeavour after perspicuity we should, with Horace, impute to a pardona- prejudices its greatness. Aristotle has observed, that the idiomatic ble inadvertency, or to the weakness of human nature, which cannot attend to each minute style may be avoided, and the sublime formed particular, and give the last finishing to every by the following methods. First, by the use circumstance in so long a work. The ancient of metaphors; such are those of Milton critics, therefore, who were actuated by a spirit of candour, rather than that of cavilling, invented certain figures of speech, on purpose to palliate little errors of this nature in the writings of those authors who had so many greater beauties to atone for them. Imparadis'd in one another's arms. -And in his hand areed and that he seldom has recourse to them where the proper and natural words will do as well. In these, and innumerable other instances, If clearness and perspicuity were only to be the metaphors are very bold but just: I must consulted, the poet would have nothing else to however observe, that the metaphors are not do but to clothe his thoughts in the most plain so thick sown in Milton, which always savours and natural expressions. But since it often too much of wit: that they never clash with happens that the most obvious phrases, and one another, which, as Aristotle observes turns those which are used in ordinary conversation a sentence into a kind of an enigma or riddle; become too familiar to the ear, and contract a kind of meanness by passing through the mouths of the vulgar: a poet should take par- Another way of raising the language, and ticular care to guard himself against idiomatic giving it a poetical turn, is to make use of the ways of speaking. Ovid and Lucan have many idioms of other tongues. Virgil is full of the poornessess of expression upon this account as Greek forms of speech, which the critics call taking up with the first phrases that offered Hellenisms, as Horace in his odes abounds with without putting themselves to the trouble of them much more than Virgil. I need not menlooking after such as would not only have been tion the several dialects which Homer has made natural, but also elevated and sublime. Mil-use of for this end. ton has but few failings in this kind, of which, however, you may meet with some instances, as in the following passages: Milton, in conformity with the practice of the ancient poets, and with Aristotle's rule, has infused a great many Latinisms, as well as Græcisms, and sometimes |