will reply, I know that I shall perish without him; and so do thousands more know this as well as you; but, being destitute of every divine and heavenly influence, God's presence, and even heaven itself, would give them more pain than the company of heil; because there is in them no meetness, nothing that will join or unite with the powers above. And if no life, why all this tenderness, this craving appetite; and how comes my son to relish all the sweet, the choice, the fat, the savoury morsels? Life divine is fed, nourished, strengthened, supported, entertained, and delighted, by the bread of God, by the word of God, by the satisfaction and sacrifice of Christ, by the presence of God: the children of the bridechamber never fast in the bridegroom's presence; they feed upon the Lord's visits, upon every influence of the Holy Spirit, upon his delivering mercies, upon the smiles of his providence; and the reverse of these is their fasts and their famine. This house of mine is to be sold in May next. Every habitation that I have had since I have been in town has been sold over my head. Thus the god of this world is suffered to disturb me in all my dwellings; but the house that is from above is out of his reach. God bless God bless my son. W. II. LETTER LXXVI. To the Rev. J. JENKINS. My beloved's epistle came to hand; and I find from all quarters that he is weak, and yet strong; faint, yet pursuing; a reed shaken by the wind, yet more than man. But the grand object is not obtained, namely, this: he wants to be meekened, softened, humbled, and melted down, under the influence of regenerating, renewing, and all sinsubduing mercy; and to continue under the weeping willow many days; and then to have the sun, with all his healing rays, shining in his full strength; and this to be attended with such love as to cast out all fear and torment for evermore; and for all these rays of light, flames of heat, and firstfruits of glory, to attend and appear upon him in the pulpit, and that for many months together, ten at least; and that those that hate him might see these tokens for good, and be ashamed; because the Lord upholds him and comforts him. These are the things which he has imagined, and he reaches out after these things which are before; not that he has already attained, or is already perfect, but he presses forward. I have my doubts whether all this furniture would suit every sheep in the Lord's fold; a few discourses upon these discoveries might do for a lamb in the bosom, but not for those that are with young. They might suit a bride just espoused, but it would not be to each of the household a portion of meat in due season. There is a difference between a private and a public character; between a rural shepherd and a chamberlain of a city; and between a saint in private life and one in the public ministry. All that the private saint gets, he marks, learns, and inwardly digests for himself; and one visit with the bridegroom's presence may feed and feast him for many days; for all that he gets he keeps, having none to feed but his own soul. This is the case with private believers, but not with public preachers; this is the case with children, but not with fathers. Officers must care for the public, fathers must lay up for the children. All the above stock of heavenly treasure, though in all its fulness, would be exhaled by a thirsty flock in two full discourses; whereas it might entertain our own hearts a whole month, were there no public expenditures. But our light must shine to others; we must feed, keep, watch over, and water; and the freer we receive, the freer we must give. Thine office, my son, will forbid what thou hast long imagined; and let it be so, since blessed are those servants whom their Lord hath made rulers over his household, to give to each a portion of meat in due season; "Blessed is that servant, whom, when the Lord cometh, he shall find so doing." Envy not the private believer; he brings forth fruit, but it turns chiefly to his own account. However, we see the en comiums that are put upon them who in this way occupy till the Lord comes; witness the applause given to the men of five and of two talents; we are a sweet savour unto God; whether of life or of death, the bearer of this will tell his own tale. Ever thine, W. H. LETTER LXXVII. To the Rev. J. JENKINS. LAST night I arrived safe at Cricklewood, through a dismal, dark, windy, and rainy night; God being my only protector. And this morning I found a letter from my dear friend, the sight of which always does me good; for my love to him has never abated, nor my confidence of his salvation ever yet sunk or failed: he is still in my heart to live and die with him; and he is the first man. in my heart, and the highest in my affections of any man living in all the world. But this muttering and repining, murmuring and complaining, I hate, both in him and in myself also. My own conflicts, both without and within, have far exceeded yours, and yet I believe they have been wisely ordered to answer some good purpose, and have been overruled for my good in the end. If thou wast not a branch of the Lord, and if thou wast not in the true vine, why all this purging? God sends no rods upon the wicked; bastards are not chastened; they are not in trouble as other men. God often destroys the false hopes of such sinners, and he makes them relinquish all their claims upon him; he exposes their deception and arrogance, and lets them see his rejection of them; and they seeking self in their profession, their pride is hurt, and they hate the Almighty, and his choice of his people. God makes them contemptible and base before all his family, and they contemn him and his counsel both. He takes off all the restraints of his providence, and they get past feeling in sin; and if he fills them, and consumes them with terrors, their desperation and rebellion rise the more against him, and aim at counteracting him in all his designs and works of mercy, which is doing despite to his Holy Spirit. He throws them out of the faith, hope, prayers, and affections of all his saints, and suffers them no more to lift up a cry or prayer for them, declaring that he will not answer them; these were his orders to Jeremiah against the Jews. To Samuel, against Saul. To John, against those that sinned unto death, in fighting against Christ the life. I ask, in the name of God, if this is your state? God has purged you; and if great fruits in the ministry have not been produced, the fruits of the Spirit have appeared in you, by which it is plan yours are purging, and not hardening trials. Humility, self-abase |