the disease, for the patient recovers: if the phy-. sician and the disease join, then down goes the patient, that is where the physician mistakes the case: if the patient and the disease join, then

265. Alexander visited Diogenes in his tub, and when he asked him what he would desire of him? Diogenes answered, “That you would stand a little aside, that the sun may come to me."

forth into her privy-chamber, and admitted her ladies to have access unto her, and amongst the rest my Lady Paget presented herself, and came to her with a smiling countenance. The queen bent her brows, and seemed to be highly dis-down goes the physician, for he is discredited. pleased, and said to her, "Madam, you are not ignorant of my extreme grief, and do you come to me with a countenance of joy?" My Lady Paget answered, "Alas, and it please your majesty, it is impossible for me to be absent from you three weeks, but that when I see you, I must look cheerfully." "No, no," said the queen, not forgetting her former averseness to the match, "you have some other conceit in it, tell me plainly." My lady answered, "I must obey you it is this, I was thinking how happy your majesty was, in that you married not Monsieur; 268. Heraclitus the Obscure said; "The dry for seeing you take such thought for his death, light was the best soul :" meaning, when the fabeing but your friend; if he had been your hus-culties intellectual are in vigour, not wet, nor, as band, sure it would have cost you your life." it were, blooded by the affections.

266. Diogenes said of a young man that danced daintily, and was much commended, “The better, the worse.”

267. Diogenes called an ill musician, Cock. "Why?" saith he. Diogenes answered; "Because when you crow, men use to rise."

270. Whitehead, a grave divine, was much

because he was against the government of bishops. He was of a blunt stoical nature: he came one day to the queen, and the queen happened to say to him, "I like thee the better, Whitehead, because thou livest unmarried." He answered again, "In troth, madam, I like you the worse for the same cause."

262. Sir Edward Dyer, a grave and wise gen- 269. There was in Oxford a cowardly fellow tleman, did much believe in Kelly the alchemist, that was a very good archer; he was abused that he did indeed the work, and made gold: inso-grossly by another, and moaned himself to Walmuch that he went into Germany, where Kelly ter Raleigh, then a scholar, and asked his advice then was, to inform himself fully thereof. After what he should do to repair the wrong had been his return, he dined with my lord of Canter-offered him; Raleigh answered, "Why, chalbury, where at that time was at the table Dr. lenge him at a match of shooting." Brown the physician. They fell in talk of Kelly. Sir Edward Dyer, turning to the arch-esteemed by Queen Elizabeth, but not preferred, bishop said, "I do assure your grace, that that I shall tell you is truth, I am an eyewitness thereof; and if I had not seen it, I should not have believed it. I saw Master Kelly put of the base metal into the crucible; and after it was set a little upon the fire, and a very small quantity of the medicine put in, and stirred with a stick of wood, it came forth in great proportion, perfect gold; to the touch, to the hammer, to the test." My lord archbishop said, "You had need take heed what you say, Sir Edward Dyer, for here is an infidel at the board." Sir Edward Dyer said again pleasantly, "I would have looked for an infidel sooner in any place than at your grace's table." "What say you, Dr. Brown?" saith the bishop. Dr. Brown answered, after his blunt and huddling manner, "The gentleman hath spoken enough for me." "Why," saith the bishop, "what hath he said ?" "Marry," saith Dr. Brown, "he said, he would not have believed it, except he had seen it, and no more will I."

263. Democritus said, "That truth did lie in profound pits, and when it was got, it needed much refining."

264. Doctor Johnson said that in sickness there were three things that were material; the physician, the disease, and the patient: and if any two of these joined, then they have the victory; for, Ne Hercules quidem contra duos." If the physician and the patient join, then down goes

271. There was a nobleman that was lean of visage, but immediately after his marriage he grew pretty plump and fat. One said to him, "Your lordship doth contrary to other married men; for they at the first wax lean, and you wax fat." Sir Walter Raleigh stood by, and said, “Why, there is no beast, that if you take him from the common, and put him into the several, but he will wax fat."

272. Diogenes seeing one, that was a bastard, casting stones among the people, bade him take heed he hit not his father.

273. Dr. Laud said, "that some hypocrites and seeming mortified men, that held down their heads like bulrushes, were like the little images that they place in the very bowing of the vaults of churches, that look as if they held up the church, but are but puppets."

274. It was said among some of the grave prelates of the council of Trent, in which the schooldivines bore the sway; that the schoolmen were like the astronomers, who, to save the phænomena, framed to their conceit eccentrics and epicycles, and a wonderful engine of orbs, though no

CERTAIN APOPHTHEGMS

OF THE

LORD BACON'S.

FIRST PUBLISHED IN THE "BACONIAN A.”

who had not had the effect of some of the queen's | Lord St. Albans, wishing him a good Easter. My grants so soon as he had hoped and desired, lord thanked the messenger, and said, “He could paused a little; and then made answer, "Madam, not at present requite the count better than in rehe thinks of a woman's promise." The queen turning him the like; that he wished his lordship shrunk in her head; but was heard to say, "Well, a good passover." Sir Edward, I must not confute you." Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.

13. My Lord Chancellor Elsmere, when he had read a petition which he disliked, would say, "What, you would have my hand to this now?” And the party answering, "Yes;" he would say further, "Well, so you shall: nay, you shall have both my hands to it." And so would, with both his hands, tear it in pieces.

14. I knew a wise man,* that had it for a byword, when he saw men hasten to a conclusion, "Stay a little that we may make an end the sooner."

15. Sir Francis Bacon was wont to say of an angry man who suppressed his passion, "That he thought worse than he spake ;" and of an angry man that would chide, "That he spoke worse than he thought."

16. He was wont also to say, "That power in an ill man was like the power of a black witch; he could do hurt but no good with it." And he would add, "That the magicians could turn water into blood, but could not turn the blood again to

8. King James was wont to be very earnest with the country gentlemen to go from London to their country houses. And sometimes he would say thus to them, "Gentlemen, at London you are like ships in a sea, which show like no-water." thing; but in your country villages you are like ships in a river, which look like great things."

9. Soon after the death of a great officer, who was judged no advancer of the king's matters, the king said to his solicitor Bacon, who was his kinsman, "Now tell me truly, what say you of your cousin that is gone?" Mr. Bacon answered, "Sir, since your majesty doth charge me, I'll e'en deal plainly with you, and give you such a character of him, as if I were to write his story. I do think he was no fit counsellor to make your affairs better but yet he was fit to have kept them from growing worse." The king said, "On my so'l, man, in the first thou speakest like a true man, and in the latter like a kinsman."

10. King James, as he was a prince of great judgment, so he was a prince of marvellous pleasant humour; and there now come into my mind two instances of it. As he was going through Lusen, by Greenwich, he asked what town it was? They said, Lusen. He asked a good while after, "What town is this we are now in?" They said still, 'twas Lusen. "On my so'l,” said the king, "I will be king of Lusen."

11. In some other of his progresses, he asked how far it was to a town whose name I have forgotten. They said, "Six miles." Half an hour after, he asked again. One said, "Six miles and an half." The king alighted out of his coach, and crept under the shoulder of his led horse. And when some asked his majesty what he meant ? "I must stalk," said he, "for yonder town is shy, and flies me."

17. When Mr. Attorney Cook, in the exchequer, gave high words to Sir Francis Bacon, and stood much upon his higher place: Sir Francis said to him, " Mr. Attorney, the less you speak of your own greatness, the more I shall think of it; and the more, the less."

18. Sir Francis Bacon, coming into the Earl of Arundel's garden, where there were a great number of ancient statues of naked men and women, made a stand, and, as astonished, cried out, "The resurrection."

19. Sir Francis Bacon, who was always for moderate counsels, when one was speaking of such a reformation of the Church of England, as would in effect make it no church; said thus to him, "Sir, the subject we talk of is the eye of England; and if there be a speck or two in the eye, we endeavour to take them off, but he were a strange oculist who would pull out the eye."

20. The same Sir Francis Bacon was wont to say; "That those who left useful studies for useless scholastic speculations, were like the Olympic gamesters, who abstained from necessary labours, that they might be fit for such as were not so."

21. He likewise often used this comparison:† "The empirical philosophers are like to pismires; they only lay up and use their store. The rationalists are like to spiders; they spin all out of their own bowels. But give me a philosopher,

* See this also in his Essay of Despatch. See the substance of this in Nov. Org. ed. Lugd. Bat. 12. Count Gondomar sent a compliment to my p. 105, and Inter Cogitata et Visa, p. 53.

who, like the bee, hath a middle faculty, gather- | be lifted up, the inferior parts of the body must ing from abroad, but digesting that which is too." gathered by his own virtue."

25. The Lord Bacon was wont to commend the advice of the plain old man at Buxton, that sold becoms: a proud lazy young fellow came to him for a besom upon trust; to whom the old man said, "Friend, hast thou no money? borrow of | thy back, and borrow of thy belly, they'll ne'er ask thee again, I shall be dunning thee every day."

26. Solon* said well to Cræsus, (when in ostentation he showed him his gold,)" Sir, if any other come that has better iron than you, he will be master of all this gold."

27. Jack Weeks said of a great man, just then dead, who pretended to some religion, but was none of the best livers, "Well, I hope he is in heaven. Every man thinks as he wishes; but if he be in heaven, 'twere pity it were known."

SPURIOUS APOPHTHEGMS.

9. Queen Elizabeth was importuned much by | have put a trick upon the countryman, which was my Lord of Essex to supply divers great offices thus: the scholars appointed for supper two that had been long void; the queen answered pigeons and a fat capon, which being ready was nothing to the matter, but rose up on the sudden, brought up, and they having sat down, the one and said, "I am sure my office will not be long scholar took up one pigeon, the other scholar took void." And yet at that time there was much the other pigeon, thinking thereby that the counspeech of troubles and divisions about the crown tryman should have sat still until that they were to be after her decease: but they all vanished, and ready for the carving of the capon, which he perKing James came in in a profound peace. ceiving, took the capon and laid it on his trencher, and thus said, "Daintily contrived, every one a bird."