Baby sends a pooty kiss to his uncles all,
Aunties and cousins, big folks and small.
Can't say any more, so dood by—
Bully old uncle wiz a glass eye!

TOPSY-TURVY WORLD.

LILLIPUT LEVEE.

[Deliver in a quizzical, droll manner.]

If the butterfly courted the bee,

And the owl the porcupine;
If churches were built in the sea,
And three times one was nine;
If the pony rode his master,

If the buttercups ate the cows,
If the cat had the dire disaster

To be worried, sir, by the mouse; If mamma, sir, sold the baby

To a gipsy, very cheap; If a gentleman was a lady,

And a brook was oceans deep;
If any or all of these wonders
Should ever come about,

I should not consider them blunders,
For I should be Inside-Out!

THE GOOD LITTLE GIRLS.

MARY MAPES DODGE.

[Give the last lines in a bashful way.] Oh, where are all the good little girls, Where are they all to-day?

And where are all the good little boys?

Tell me, somebody, pray.

Safe in their fathers' and mothers' hearts

The girls are stowed away;

And where the girls arc, look for the boys,
Or so I've heard folks say!

COOK-A-DOODLE-DOO.

ANON.

[Imitate the flapping wings and crowing of the fowl herein described.]

A little boy got out of bed

'Twas only six o'clock

And out of window poked his head,
And spied a crowing cock.

The little boy said, "Mr. Bird,

Pray tell me who are you?"
And all the answer that he heard
Was, "Cock-a-doodle-doo!"

"What would you think if you were me,"
He said, "and I were you?"
But still that bird provokingly

Cried, "Cock-a-doodle-doo !"

"How many times, you stupid head,
Goes three in twenty-two?"

That old bird winked one eye and said
Just, "Cock-a-doodle-doo!"

He slammed the window down again,
Then up that old bird flew;

And, pecking at the window pane,
Cried, "Cock-a-doodle-doodle-doodle-doo!"

TROTTY MALONE.

MARY MAPES DODGE.

[Imitate, as far as possible, each conveyance.]

Boys and girls come riddle and ravel;
Tell us how you would like to travel.

Crispy, crackly, snow and tingle-
"Give me sleighs!" said Jenny Jingle.

Stony, bumpty, bang and bolter-
"Give me carts!" said Johnny Jolter.

Slidy, glidy, jerky whiff-ter-
"Give me cars!" cried Sally Swifter.

Flippetty, cricketty, elegant, go-
"Give me a buggy !" said Benjamin Beau.

"A fig for them all!" cried Trotty Malone, "Give me a stout pair of legs of my own!"

THREE BUGS.

ALICE CARY.

[To be given in a simple, natural manner.]

Three little bugs in a basket,

And hardly room for two!

And one was yellow, and one was black,
And one like me or you.

The space was small, no doubt, for all;
But what should three bugs do?

Three little bugs in a basket,

And hardly crumbs for two;

And all were selfish in their hearts,

The same as I or you;

So the strong ones said, "We will eat the bread,

And that is what we'll do."

Three little bugs in a basket,

And the beds but two would hold; So they all three fell to quarrelling

The white, and black, and the gold. And two of the bugs got under the rugs, And one was out in the cold.

So he that was left in the basket
Without a crumb to chew,

Or a thread to wrap himself withal
When the wind across him blew,

Pulled one of the rugs from under the bugs,
And so the quarrel grew!

And so there was war in the basket,
Ah, pity 'tis, 'tis true!

And he that was frozen, and starved, at last
A strength from his weakness drew,

And pulled the rugs from both of the bugs,
And killed and ate them, too!

Now, when bugs live in a basket,

Though more than it well can hold,
It seems to me they had better agree-

The white, and the black, and the gold;
And share what comes of the beds and crumbs,

And leave no bug in the cold!

HOW TO GAIN FRIENDS.

ANON.

[Recite in a natural, conversational tone.]

"Well," said a straight-backed, straight-legged chair to a cosy little rocking chair by whose side it had chanced to be placed, "before I would be such a drudge as you are I would be a stool, or, if possible, something still more insignificant. People are not content with making you nurse every person, big or little, but you must also continually be rocking them to and fro."

"To be sure," answered the little rocking chair pleasantly, "I am always on the go for the gratification of others, but thereby have I won for myself many friends, and appear to be a great favorite with all. This well repays me for my trouble."

And so it is with little girls, and little boys, and other people. Those who cheerfully and willingly do for others are the ones who gain for themselves many and lasting friends.

FROGS AT SCHOOL.

GEORGE COOPER.

[Deliver in an imitative, descriptive manner.]

Twenty froggies went to school,
Down beside a rushy pool;

Twenty little coats of green,
Twenty vests all white and clean.
"We must be in time," said they;
First we study, then we play;
That is how we keep the rule
When we froggies go to school."

Master bullfrog, grave and stern,
Called the classes in their turn;
Taught them how to nobly strive,
Likewise how to leap and dive;
From his seat upon the log

Showed them how to say, "Ker-chog!"
Also, how to dodge a blow
From the sticks which bad boys throw.

Twenty froggies grew up fast;
Bullfrogs they became at last;
Not one dunce among the lot,
Not one lesson they forgot.
Polished in a high degree,
As each froggie ought to be,
Now they sit on other logs,
Teaching other little frogs.

TWO SOMEBODIES.

ANON.

[To be delivered in a natural, colloquial style.]

I know somebody who always appears to be miserable, and this about heris the way she contrives to be so: she is always thinkin fretself; constantly wishing for that she has not; idling her time;