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A Cantab being out of ready cash, went in haste to a fellow-student to borrow, who happened to be in bed at the time. Shaking him, the Cantab demanded," Are you asleep?"-"Why?" says the student. "Because," replied the other, "I want to borrow half-a-crown.— "Then," answered the student, " I'm asleep.”
Tom Randolph, who was then a student in Cambridge, having staid in London so long that he might truly be said to have had a parley with his empty purse, was resolved to see Ben Jonson with his associates, who, as he heard, at a set time, kept a club together at the Devil Tavern, near Temple Bar. Accordingly he went thither at the specified time; but, being unknown to them, and wanting money, which, to a spirit like Tom's, was the most daunting thing in the world, he peeped into the room where they were, and was espied by Ben Jonson, who, seeing him in a scholar's thread-bare habit, cried out," John Bo-peep, come in!" which accordingly he did. They immediately began to rhyme upon the meanness of his clothes, asking him if he could not make a verse, and, withal, to call for his quart of sack. There being but four of them, he immediately
I John Bo-peep,
To you four sheep,
With each one his good fleece;
If that you are willing.
To give me five shilling,"Tis fifteen pence a-piece.
By Jesus," exclaimed Ben Jonson (his usual oath), I believe this is my son Randolph;" which being made known to them, he was kindly entertained in their company, and Ben Jonson ever after called him his son.
"YOU'LL GET THERE BEFORE I CAN TELL
Mr. Neville, formerly a fellow of Jesus College, was greatly respected for his peaceable and inoffensive manners, but distinguished by many innocent singularities, uncommon shyness, and stammering of speech. Dr. Caryl has observed, “ that when he used bad words he could talk fluently." A sudden address from a stranger would disconcert him beyond measure. In one of his solitary rambles, a countryman met him, and inquired the road. "Tu-u―rn,” says Neville, "to-to-to-" and so on for a minute or two; at last he burst out, "Damn it, man! you'll get there before I can tell you!"
DR. JOHN HEY,
When he kept a public act in the schools at the University of Cambridge, towards the conclusion of the disputation, availed himself of the arguments of Dr. Beattie and others of the Scotch school. Dr. Watson,
who was then Regius Professor of Divinity, and abun- · dantly well read in ancient theology, burst forth with the following apophthegma, "Quid hi Scotti sentient, nescio; sed qua sentire debent, benè scio!”
LOAVES AND FISHES.
Soon after Mr. Pitt became Premier, he happened to be in Cambridge at the Commencement, when the late Dr. Paley, author of Moral Philosophy, &c. was appointed to preach the sermon before the heads and the members of the different colleges, in the University church. Mr. Pitt, who was then a young man, was one of the congregation. Many of the members of the University, from the official situation he had obtained, and his connection with them, being their representative in Parliament, anticipated church preferment through his interest. On this occasion Dr. Paley, remarkable for his independent spirit, chose the following pointed
"There is a lad here, which hath five barley loaves and two small fishes: but what are they among so many?" JOHN, vi. 9.
A student, at an examination in Trinity College, being required to define a Sine, gave the following laconic answer:-"An evil and adulterous generation seek for a Sine, but they shall not find one, except that of the prophet Jonah."
ST. JOHN'S HEAD ON A CHARGER.
A fellow of St. John's College walking with a friend, who was a stranger in Cambridge, by chance met the master of his college, Dr. Wood, on horseback; and, on his friend asking who the gentleman on horseback was, he facetiously replied, " It is St. John's head on a charger."
An honest publican, who was his neighbour, in order to testify his respect for the late Bishop Watson, took down his long-established sign of Bishop Blaize, and substituted for it the head of Dr. Watson. A wicked wag of the University, who was afterwards Bishop of Bristol, wrote the following epigram on the occasion:
"Two of a trade can ne'er agree,
No proverb e'er was juster;
They've ta'en down Bishop Blaize, do you see,
Dr. Harvey, of Trinity Hall, made a causeway for about three miles from Cambridge towards Newmarket, and one morning, as he was overlooking the workmen, a certain nobleman, who suspected the doctor's inclinations to popery, said to him, "I suppose, doctor, you imagine this the highway to heaven.""No, no,
Sir,” replied the doctor, "for in that case I should not have met you in this place."
It is no uncommon occurrence in the University of Cambridge, for the undergraduates to express their approbation or disapprobation of the Vice-Chancellor, on the resignation of his office. Upon an occasion of this kind, it seemed a certain gentleman had enacted some regulations which had given great offence to those gentlemen in statu pupillari; and, when the senate had assembled in order that he might resign his office to another, a great hissing was raised in disapprobation of his conduct; upon which, bowing courteously, he made the following elegant retort :
"Laudatur ab his."
THE TEETH POWER.
A fellow of St. John's College, remarkable for his predilection for algebra, being one day seated at table near a gentleman of the same college who was a professed punster, was in the act of putting some apple-pie into his mouth; on which his friend facetiously observed—“ That he was raising apple-pie to the teeth (th) power."
On a time, a certain personage, enjoying his afternoon's pipe with the late Professor Porson, turned tri