THE DAY AFTER THE WEDDING;

OR, A WIFE'S FIRST LESSON.

SCENE I.—A Lady's Dressing Room in Colonel Free love's Villa, tastefully furnished with a sofa, footstools, sheffoniers, &c.-Books, papers, vases, &c. on the chimney-piece-a guitar hung up, L.—a dressing-table, R., on which is a hand-bell - — a music-desk, flute, and a small drawing-table, with a portfolio, L:—a tambourframe on the sofa-two chairs.

JAMES and MRS. DAVIES discovered putting the things in order.

James. [R. Looking at his watch.] Bless my soul!eleven o'clock, and not stirring yet!

Mrs. D. [L.] Consider, nights are short at this fine season of the year; remember, you were young once yourself. James. Aye, and this happy wedding has made me young again. Kiss me, my old wench. [Kisses her.] Well, it was a fine sight, the lasses so gay, and the lads so smart; then the volunteers drawn out, and the parson and the clerk.

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Mrs. D. Lord! it's an awful thing to be married!
James. Many people find it so.

Mrs. D. I wish my dear young master may not; but I think the lady has a bit of a spirit of her own. Did you mind how she treated that poor waiting-woman she brought with her from town?-The Lord forgive me, but I thought she would have slapped her face.

James Phoo! nonsense! she is a lively little thing.

Mrs. D. She is, indeed; and, in my mind, my master will have a lively time with her. Oh, here comes my master and his new brother-in-law, Lord Rivers.

Enter COLONEL FREELOVE and LORD RIVErs, r.

Col. F. [R. c.] Good day, good day to you my worthy friends.

Mrs. D. [L. The same to you, sir, and a great many of them. You rested well, I hope last night?

James. (L. c.) [Aside to Mrs. D.] Hush, you silly

woman!

Mrs. D. The lady found every thing to her satisfaction, I hope?

James. Don't ask impertinent questions.

Col. F. Thank you, thank you ;-you were very busy last night. You over-worked yourselves, I'm afraid.

James. Ah, sir! had it been twenty times as much, we should have gone through it with pleasure, for so good a

master.

Col. F. In the midst of my own happiness, I have not been unmindful of yours. This paper insures you ease for the remainder of your days. [Gives a paper. James. Ah, sir! the only way to insure our ease, will be to let us die in your service.

Col. F. These honest people, my lord, are old friends; I am indebted to their kind offices from the very hour of my birth.

Mrs. D. Aye, sir, I was his nurse. Who would believe, to see him such a fine well-grown gentleman, that I used to dandle him in my arms?-Aye, aye, for all-you look so, I did.

James. Yes, and the day he was breeched, when I put a pretty sixpence in his pocket.

Mrs. D. Do you remember how unkindly he took to them?-Pretty tricks you played us! [Laughing.] ha, ha, ha! I shall never forget it.

Col. F. There, there,-go, my good friends, and be sure you don't fatigue yourselves.

James &Thank you, thank you! health, happiness, and Mrs. D. a long life to your honour.

[Exeunt James and Mrs. Davies, L. D. Lord R. Well, Harry, here you are, arrived at the summit of all earthly bliss, eh?

Col. F. I am, indeed. Surrounded by faithful servant,

enjoying a princely fortune, possessing an amiable, beautiful, and accomplished wife.

Lord R. You hope to glide along the ocean of life, unobstructed by the shoals of misfortune, or the quicksands of disappointment. Your chance for happiness is as good as any man'smarried man's, I mean. My sister possesses most valuable qualities,—but your marriage followed so close upon your declaration, that you had not leisure to study Elizabeth's temper, which, I fear, you will find impatient of restraint, quick, irritable. Why, you don't seem to be moved!

Col. F. I believe your picture is overcharged, — brothers are not apt to flatter.

Lord R. Nor lovers to discern the imperfections of their mistresses. She'll soon 66 give you a taste of her quality; her behaviour to her maid yesterday might have convinced you, I think, that she can look a little black.

Col. F. It did not escape me.

Lord R. Temper, temper, my good fellow

Col. F. May be amended. Lady Elizabeth has been spoiled in her childhood - she is ingenuous, and has sensibility; with mild and affectionate treatment, such a creature may be moulded into any thing.

Lord R. Then you must re-educate her.

Col. F. I purpose doing so. Here, I shall have Elizabeth entirely to myself; and if you'll promise to second my project, I'll undertake to make her tractable.

Lord R. Accomplish that, and I'll acknowledge you the prince of shrew-tamers.

Col. F. Hush, she's here! I have a few calls to make; accompany me, and I will tell you my plans as we walk along.

Enter LADY ELIZABETH FREELOVE, in morning dress, R.D. Lady E. [Crossing to c.] Good morning, brother. Harry!. [Holds out her hand to him, Col. F. [L.] We were speaking of you, Bess. Your brother has been pronouncing a flaming panegyric upon you. What's the matter? you seem chagrined.

Lady E. Such a misfortune has happened to me!

Col. F. You alarm me, Bess.

Lady E. I have no waiting woman.

Lord R. What a calamity!

Lady E. Last night, in a little pet, I just desired Maria

to go about her business; and, do you know, she has had the sauciness to obey me.

Col. F. Could she do better than obey you, Bess ?

Lady E. Oh, but I did not mean it, you know; I was very sorry for what I said last night, and when I sent for her this morning, she was gone. I don't much care about

it, for really she was such a dawdle

You

Lord R. Why, she was but just come to you. turned away your former woman only the day before yesterday.

Lady E. Oh, I could not hear her, she was so pert.
Col. F. I am afraid you will not find it easy to suit your-
Come, Rivers-good bye, Bess.

self.

[Rivers crosses to him, and the Colonel takes his arm. Lady E. What! are you going out already?

Lord R. We have a few calls to make.

Lady E. Why, what visits can you have to pay, when you are but so lately arrived?

Col. F. I am going to invite a few friends to dine with us. Lady E. By-the-by, Harry, how shall I get dressed?

Col. F, Oh, there will be no great difficulty in that— ladies have so much consideration for their waiting-women now-a-days, that they even dispense with their petticoats to diminish the labours of the toilette. Don't make yourself uneasy, my love! my housekeeper was waiting-woman to my mother many years. I have already desired her to attend your commands-I'll send Mrs. Davies to you. [Patting her cheek.] Good bye, Bess, good bye, love.

Lady E. [Patting his cheek playfully in return.] Well, if you must go ;-but don't be absent long, now, for I hate to be alone. [Exeunt the Colonel and Lord Rivers, L. D.Lady Elizabeth, following, kisses her hand to the Colonel as he goes off.] How he loves me! [Returns, and sits near the toilette, R. Let me see, what dress shall I wear? my pretty white crape, with the peach blossom trimming. Harry has never seen that, and he'll think it charmingly becoming. How fond he is of me! 'tis very delightful to be married!

[Turning her chair, and examining herself in the glass. Enter JAMES, L. D.

Lady E. Oh, Mr.

James. James, madam, at your service. My we will wait upon your ladyship whenever you are ready. I left her very busy in

Lady E. Oh, very well, very well.

James. Your ladyship likes our county ?-We have beau. tiful prospects.

Lady E. [Still sitting at the toilette, and looking at herself in the glass.] Yes, I like the prospect very much. James. We are not quite so gay as in London, though. I was there, my lady, in 1801; my dear late master and

I

Lady E. Who put my guitar there?

James. 1, my lady.

Lady E. [Mimicking.] I, my lady! then bring it to me, my Lady,

James. Yes, my lady; directly, my lady; in half a minute, my lady.

Lady E. Do come a little quicker.

James. [Giving it.] There, my lady.

Lady E. Lud! 'tis quite out of tune. [Strums.] What were you saying, Mr. Thing'em?

James. Why my lady, I was saying that in 1801-[A string snaps-she betrays impatience.] it was the winter of that year, and very cold it was,-the day after we arrived, the most extraordinary thing happened.

Lady E. Good gracious.

[Another string snaps.

James. I was standing at the corner of Pall Mall, when, on a sudden, I heard such a crash! [A third string snaps. Lady E. [Rising and dashing the guitar on the ground with great violence.] Deuce take the thing!

James. Mercy on me! what's that?-Never trust me, but I thought it was the very crash I heard in 1801.

Lady E. You old twaddler! why do you stand chattering there? [Seats herself at the toilette.] Send your wife. James. Here she comes, my lady. [Aside.] Twaddler! My wife was right; women, after all, are the best judges. Set a thief to catch a thief. Old twaddler, indeed!

[Exit James L. D.

Enter MRS. Davies, L. D.

Mrs. D. I humbly wait upon your ladyship.

Lady E. [Rising.] A good style of waiting-woman, that. There, good woman, take this key; and in the drawer of the dressing table you'll find a gold comb; you can tuck up my hair, I suppose?

Mrs. D. [Opening the drawer in the toilette, R.] To be